Oh, Amy Winehouse. It's finally happened.
She's become that really, really embarrassing elderly female relative that always gets terribly wasted at public family events, presses her saggy tits up against the nearest waiter while her eyes are half-closed, and pinches the band leader's ass seductively, unaware that his penis has practically turned into a shriveled raisin, which is the polar opposite of what she intended [she was quite a looker oh yes quite a looker back in her heyday don't you know]. The band leader attempts a smile, really just a mere grimace, as his eyes meet yours and you have to look away and grit your teeth because it's the same old-same old trying to make amends with another band leader or waiter on another day at another generic occasion. And you're tired, quite tired, of excuses and apologies and attempts to guide her away when all you really want to do is dislocate her arm for embarrassing all of you so much time after time. As she ambles along on her rickety sling-backed Payless shoes (with visible Dr. Scholl's inserts) toward her next male victim to strike up a witty conversation, her gooey denture paste is almost audible as her fake teeth bang around in her mouth, while her gums smack and jaw snaps open and closed, no true words emerging, only murmurs, slurs and mumbles.
And all the while, you watch this scene play out month after month, and you feel sad for her, but you also feel revolted by her -- it tastes like bitter metal corrosion in the back of your throat -- and for a second, it almost makes you cry a little bit because the scene is so sad and desperate and so very believable that it could be you or someone else you care dearly about one day in the same situation. So you swallow the lump and guide her away gently, lovingly, almost as a parent would lead a toddling one-year-old, because you really do love her from the depths of your heart nonetheless, and you hope that she dies quietly in her sleep when she finally does go.
Not like this. Never like this.
[gallery] />Oh, Amy Winehouse. It's finally happened.
She's become that really, really embarrassing elderly female relative that always gets terribly wasted at public family events, presses her saggy tits up against the nearest waiter while her eyes are half-closed, and pinches the band leader's ass seductively, unaware that his penis has practically turned into a shriveled raisin, which is the polar opposite of what she intended [she was quite a looker oh yes quite a looker back in her heyday don't you...
No, I'm just kidding. She could be a perfectly nice young girl for all I know. Not that, you know, lushes are bad people. I've met my share of drunkards that were quite lovely, in fact.
But I just read a partial interview with former American Idol fame, Kellie Pickler. She of super-hot "Red High Heels" fame spoke to OK! magazine for their September issue and discussed how vast the difference is between her and Carrie Underwood, the "other" country-sangin' blonde of American Idol, and her affinity for beer and not food:
Last thing I bought
I have an obsession with koozies [a fabric sleeve to keep beverages cold]. So I bought me a “Grand Ole Opry” koozie for my beer. I like my beer. I’d rather drink beer than eat.
Last thing I Googled
Dalmation adoption centers. I was looking for a local rescue center that has Dalmation puppies.
Last time I was mistaken for another celebrity
A lot of people confuse Carrie Underwood and me - we’re blonde, country and both from American Idol. I get called “Carrie Pickler” and she gets “Kellie Underwood.” But we’re totally different - night and day. I’m crazy and she’s a lady.
Last date night
Kyle [her fiance, songwriter Kyle Jacobs] and I will usually go down to Green Hills to watch a movie at the theater, or we’ll sit home and order one On Demand.
Good for you for being normal, Kellie. I know that not a lot of people know who you are, and even less dig country as much as they dig Carrie Underwood, but hey. You're cute, you're real, and you supposedly messed around with Kid Rock. And that makes you clutch in my book. />No, I'm just kidding. She could be a perfectly nice young girl for all I know. Not that, you know, lushes are bad people. I've met my share of drunkards that were quite lovely, in fact.
But I just read a partial interview with former American Idol fame, Kellie Pickler. She of super-hot "Red High Heels" fame spoke to OK! magazine for their September issue and discussed how vast the difference is between her and Carrie Underwood, the "other" country-sangin' blonde of American Idol, and he...
Of course you are. Otherwise why would you be on this site? It's a celebrity gossip site. Anyone who expects anything less than celebrity gossip accompanied with a snarky commentary should go elsewhere. Like BabyAnimalz.com, MyLittlePony.com, or CuteOverload.com. They're all sites that'll suit your tastes much better.
So, yeah. Lindsay Lohan. First, let me say with a rather unsurprising air that she looks great. Those hollowed-out dark circles that took up residence underneath her eyes seem to have disappeared, as well as the glazed-but-somehow-shiny glint in her eyes that was the result of too many uppers, nights without sleep, and Red Bull.
According to exclusive sources at X17, Linds was photographed entering ...
Read More />Of course you are. Otherwise why would you be on this site? It's a celebrity gossip site. Anyone who expects anything less than celebrity gossip accompanied with a snarky commentary should go elsewhere. Like BabyAnimalz.com, MyLittlePony.com, or CuteOverload.com. They're all sites that'll suit your tastes much better.
So, yeah. Lindsay Lohan. First, let me say with a rather unsurprising air that she looks great. Those hollowed-out dark circles that took up residence underneath her eyes see...
We (us here at EvilBeet and the world, collectively) rag on Britney Spears a lot for being unkempt and kind of crazy lookin' at all times, but let's think about this: She's been in hair and make up for most of her life, she's a mother of two kids, she had a very public mental breakdown a couple years ago, her dad babysits her full time and everyone talks about her everywhere she goes. I don't know about you, but that would nearly kill me. I can barely be bothered to brush my hair as it is and I got like... nothin' going on. A whole lot of nothing.
So let's just take a moment to pay respect to Britney. Despite the fact that she's not the impossibly perfect 17 year old pop star who we met and fell in love with like, a decade ago, she's still a hot bitch in a bikini. C'mon. If you didn't know that was Britney Spears and you were just chilling on the same Hawaiian beach as her, you'd double take her. You know you would. She's still above average, she's just a little worn down and beat up looking right now. And she doesn't owe it to us to change that any time soon. The girl can retire.
[gallery] />We (us here at EvilBeet and the world, collectively) rag on Britney Spears a lot for being unkempt and kind of crazy lookin' at all times, but let's think about this: She's been in hair and make up for most of her life, she's a mother of two kids, she had a very public mental breakdown a couple years ago, her dad babysits her full time and everyone talks about her everywhere she goes. I don't know about you, but that would nearly kill me. I can barely be bothered to brush my hair as it is and I got...
Lindsay Lohan was released from her court ordered rehab treatment yesterday, and although she was originally scheduled to spend 90 days in treatment, the actress isn't being left behind. The judge who ruled over Lindsay's case has given her a pretty strict list of things to do while she's still being punished.
From People:
Among Judge Elden Fox's orders for now: Lohan must submit to random drug and alcohol testing twice a week, as well as attend two behavioral therapy sessions weekly. She must also have seven contacts per week with a counselor for chemical dependency issues and attend 12-step chemical dependency sessions five times weekly. In addition, she must attend four psychotherapy sessions a week.
Judge Fox warned that any missed or dirty tests would result in a 30-day jail sentence. The new rules apply until a Nov. 1 progress review. Until then, Lohan was ordered to reside at her Los Angeles home.
Call me a moron, but I think this last trip to the slammer/rehab may be it for her. I don't know if she's going to be able to handle celebrity on the level that she's used to anymore, but I doubt that we're going to continue to hear rumors of her partying hard. And the constant therapy sessions and counselor check-ins seem awfully sobering.
The girl seems exhausted, as if maybe it's finally penetrated her thick head that she's got an addict's personality and shouldn't be around partying. This could be the end of an era, you guys. />
Lindsay Lohan was released from her court ordered rehab treatment yesterday, and although she was originally scheduled to spend 90 days in treatment, the actress isn't being left behind. The judge who ruled over Lindsay's case has given her a pretty strict list of things to do while she's still being punished.
From People:
Among Judge Elden Fox's orders for now: Lohan must submit to random drug and alcohol testing twice a week, as well as attend two behavioral therapy sessions weekly. She must also have seven contacts per week with a counselor for chemical dependency issues and attend 12-st...
Ok, I don't watch Mad Men or anything (is that wrong of me?), but I've read this blog daily for a long, long time. If you'll remember, Molls posted this picture of Christina Hendricks back in February, and ever since then, I've been keeping an eye on her. Maybe it was the boobs, maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was her whole self, I don't know. She's incredibly attractive, that's what I'm trying to say right now.
London Fog apparently agrees with that sentiment, because they got Christina to star in their fall ad campaign. They've released a couple of the ads, along with several behind-the-scenes pictures from her photo shoot, and you can check those out in the gallery below. I strongly suggest you do that unless, you know, you don't find Christina Hendricks beautiful. Then you'd probably be too busy lamenting the fact that you don't have a soul.
[gallery] />Ok, I don't watch Mad Men or anything (is that wrong of me?), but I've read this blog daily for a long, long time. If you'll remember, Molls posted this picture of Christina Hendricks back in February, and ever since then, I've been keeping an eye on her. Maybe it was the boobs, maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was her whole self, I don't know. She's incredibly attractive, that's what I'm trying to say right now.
London Fog apparently agrees with that sentiment, because they got Christina to star in their fall ad campaign. They've released...
Heidi Montag has G-cup implants. Fucking G-cup. I didn't even know they made them that big, but that's probably what everyone said about the Hindenburg, too. ... Uh, bad example. Moving on.
Heidi Montag, formerly Spencer Pratt's
programmable blow-up doll wife, has decided that she wants to downgrade her big old titties from the rumored-fabled G-cup to a more demure, realistic DD or D-cup. All I gotta say about that? "Oh, brother."
Why, you're wondering, is Heidi having such a change of heart? Apparently, a myriad of reasons, including the fact that they ruined her life and marriage (Ruined her marriage? Callin' BS on that one.), she can't hug her dogs, can't wear anything but custom-made clothing, and can't work out, which is the ultimate deal-breaker, because Montag claims she's "obsessed" with fitness.
I'm stoked that Heidi is coming to some sort of silicone-induced realization, but you cannot tell me that there wasn't someone who must have -- at one point or another -- said to Heidi, "Girl, you look like a fucking idiot." Because if they didn't? They were lying. And they were enablers. And they were probably "friends" planted by Spencer.
Whatever, Heidi. Do your thing, if you want to take the flotation devices out and get on with your life, have at it. Just quit making a spectacle of your body. It was just fine before you started fucking with it, and I don't think there's any rational person who'd state otherwise. />Heidi Montag has G-cup implants. Fucking G-cup. I didn't even know they made them that big, but that's probably what everyone said about the Hindenburg, too. ... Uh, bad example. Moving on.
Heidi Montag, formerly Spencer Pratt's programmable blow-up doll wife, has decided that she wants to downgrade her big old titties from the rumored-fabled G-cup to a more demure, realistic DD or D-cup. All I gotta say about that? "Oh, brother."
Why, you're wondering, is Heidi having such a change of heart? Apparently,...
In her first -- and confirmed last -- interview, Elin Nordegren speaks out to People magazine about the aftermath of the Tiger Woods scandal and how she's coping. Elin states that she's feeling better than ever, won't let this get her down, and has plans for her future -- all of which include her children:
"I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children. [But] I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself."
And though she's keeping busy by working toward a college degree, Elin states that family is still her number one priority, even if the father of her children is a douchebag and isn't a part of the family unit any longer:
"My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal."
You know what? I got all sorts of good vibes from this interview. I commend her on holding her silence for this long (because really, there'd be very few women -- or men, really -- who could keep their trap snapped over heinous allegations that were brought forth against their spouses like the ones brought against Woods) and I really believe her when she says that this interview, while her first, will also be her last. I believe her, and I don't see any tell-all Tiger Woods: Behind the Scenes books in development. At least by Elin, anyway. Rachel Uchitel? Yeah. Probably. />In her first -- and confirmed last -- interview, Elin Nordegren speaks out to People magazine about the aftermath of the Tiger Woods scandal and how she's coping. Elin states that she's feeling better than ever, won't let this get her down, and has plans for her future -- all of which include her children:
"I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children. [But] I also feel stronger than I ever have. I ...
“Carrying six years of so much, I always take a licking and keep on ticking. Everyone thinks I’m so strong, it became so heavy for me. I wanted to be away from the noise. I just began to get tired of taking so many licks. The foreclosure, so many things I had to deal with, people just see the glitz and the glamour ... I was in the hospital and they gave me a different name. Nobody asked me anything about the press, they talked to me about my nails and hair. A nurse, Melanie, she would come in and make me walk around. She brought me Sister 2 Sister magazine, and I was in there. She told me ‘You gotta get outta here and you gotta go back to work.’ And for me there are people that love me and want to see me go back to work. There’s no perfect person. They didn’t treat me like Fantasia, they treated me like Tasia.”
You know, suicide is no joke. It's not a laughing matter, it's something that should be taken seriously, and whether or not the cry for help is for attention or to save a life (sometimes one is just as important as the other), Fantasia Barrino is still talking about her suicide attempt to whoever will listen. And by "whoever will listen," I mean "various talk shows through various interviews." The above quote was from Fantasia's latest Good Morning America interview, where she discussed her ...
Read More />“Carrying six years of so much, I always take a licking and keep on ticking. Everyone thinks I’m so strong, it became so heavy for me. I wanted to be away from the noise. I just began to get tired of taking so many licks. The foreclosure, so many things I had to deal with, people just see the glitz and the glamour ... I was in the hospital and they gave me a different name. Nobody asked me anything about the press, they talked to me about my nails and hair. A nurse, Melanie, she would come in...
Lindsay Lohan was released today from a UCLA Medical Center rehab after only 23 days because someone is bribing someone she's all better. Apparently the doctors at UCLA thought the 90-day sentence originally imposed was positively excessive, and they convinced Judge Marsha Revel of that fact.
It turns out Lindsay Lohan isn't really a drug addict. No, no. She was "misdiagnosed" with ADHD and prescribed Adderall, which caused her to exhibit the same symptoms as someone abusing meth. Now that she knows she ...
Although she initially denied its existence, Heidi Montag is now privately coping to her participation in a sex tape that's set to be released by her soon-to-be-ex-husband Spencer Pratt. And she's ready to secure herself a nice little chunk of the profits.
From TMZ:
We're told Heidi has agreed to listen to Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch when he arrives in Costa Rica to make an offer on the footage ... some of which is said to contain girl-on-girl action with Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon.
We're told Heidi wants Hirsch to provide her with the sales numbers on Kim Kardashian's sex tape -- which was also released through Vivid -- because Heidi may be interested in working out a "back-end deal" if Steve can't offer enough cash up front to satisfy Montag.
None of this news should come as a surprise. Heidi is notorious for knowing how to stretch her fifteen minutes, and it wouldn't be too shocking to find out that this is all an extension of the plan that she's clearly made with Spencer to stay relevant. You can talk a lot of trash about someone like Heidi Montag, but there's something to be said for someone who can recognize that they're a parrot and a moron and chooses to sit back and take direction. She's a hell of a lot richer than most of us will ever be. />
Although she initially denied its existence, Heidi Montag is now privately coping to her participation in a sex tape that's set to be released by her soon-to-be-ex-husband Spencer Pratt. And she's ready to secure herself a nice little chunk of the profits.
From TMZ:
We're told Heidi has agreed to listen to Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch when he arrives in Costa Rica to make an offer on the footage ... some of which is said to contain girl-on-girl action with Playboy Playmate Kariss...