It's funny because the way the headset mic is positioned it looks like she has no front teeth most of the time. Like someone finally walked up to her in a mall in Toronto and said "If I hear 'Bad Romance' on the radio one more time, I'm gonna fucking punch you in the fucking face," and then, like, five seconds later, the early strains of "Bad Romance" began blaring through the mall's music system, and it was all over for Gaga's front teeth.
[gallery] />...
Switzerland released Polanski upon the nation's unwitting children today, much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. The Swiss government decided not to extradite Polanski to the US, where he'd certainly serve a stringent jail sentence, so odds are that Polanski's going to hide out in Switzerland for awhile until the storm settles -- which, for some people, will be never.
According to the AP:
The Swiss government declared renowned film director Roman Polanski a free man on Monday after rejecting a U.S. request to extradite him on a charge of having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl. The Swiss mostly blamed U.S. authorities for failing to provide confidential testimony about Polanski's sentencing procedure in 1977-1978. The stunning decision could end the United States' three-decade pursuit of Polanski, unless he travels to another country that would be willing to apprehend him and weigh sending him to Los Angeles. France, where he has spent much of his time, does not extradite its own citizens, and the public scrutiny over Switzerland's deliberations may dissuade other nations from making such a spectacular arrest. "Mr. Polanski can now move freely. Since 12:30 today he's a free man," Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf declared. Authorities in Los Angeles and Washington cannot appeal the Swiss decision. Sandy Gibbons, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, declined to comment.
I'm glad Mr. Polanski can now "move freely." That's just fabulous. Let's hope the sick fuck doesn't move his shit all over another thirteen year-old's asshole again, since it's clear that no punishment affects Polanski's perverse gonads. And to all of you celebrities backing Polanski because he's some kind of motherfucking "misunderstood artist" or whatever? FUCK YOU. Great example you're setting! Let's free the child-raping celebrity -- the perp is famous and more than likely will get away with it, so why the hell not. FUCK YOU, celebrities in the support of Roman Polanski -- and shame on you, too. I hope you're happy now. />Switzerland released Polanski upon the nation's unwitting children today, much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. The Swiss government decided not to extradite Polanski to the US, where he'd certainly serve a stringent jail sentence, so odds are that Polanski's going to hide out in Switzerland for awhile until the storm settles -- which, for some people, will be never.
According to the AP:
The Swiss government declared renowned film director Roman Polanski a free man on Monday after rejecting a U.S...
And failing. Miserably. Failing miserably. Did I mention that they failed? Miserably?
The cast of Jersey Shore was photographed in attendance at the KIIS-FM "Now 34 and the Jersey Shore" party that was held at some pool that looks like it'd fit in perfectly at your local hotel-motel-Holiday Inn, naturally.
They all look, uh, great. Just great. I mean, Snooki herself looks almost half of the troll that she normally appears to be, The Situation's shirt is only 3/4 of the way up, and JWoww has somehow managed to restrain her massive tits in a manner that doesn't look like they're choking the living shit out of her. Apparently, the night was a win. As for the rest of the cast? I can't even fucking remember who they are.
[gallery] />And failing. Miserably. Failing miserably. Did I mention that they failed? Miserably?
The cast of Jersey Shore was photographed in attendance at the KIIS-FM "Now 34 and the Jersey Shore" party that was held at some pool that looks like it'd fit in perfectly at your local hotel-motel-Holiday Inn, naturally.
They all look, uh, great. Just great. I mean, Snooki herself looks almost half of the troll that she normally appears to be, The Situation's shirt is only 3/4 of the way up, and J...
On Saturday, Pamela Anderson hosted her 43rd birthday party at Tao in Las Vegas, where she was, as best I can tell, completely fucking blitzed and trying to initiate a makeout session with a cake shaped like a black man's penis wearing a fifth-grader's piano recital dress. (Seriously, what is that cake supposed to be?)
That same day, Carmen Electra, age 38, hosted a night at the Rio. I assume, based on her brief marriage to Dennis Rodman, it was Carmen who explained to the staff at Tao what it looks like when a black man's penis is dressed in a fifth-grader's piano recital dress.
Carmen had her beau Rob Patterson in tow (that's Patterson, the former guitarist from Korn, although I would give my left arm for Carmen Electra to date Rob Pattinson. Which could, ya know, happen, because Pattinson's announced plans to systematically fuck anything that walks.)
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{democracy:17}
[gallery] />On Saturday, Pamela Anderson hosted her 43rd birthday party at Tao in Las Vegas, where she was, as best I can tell, completely fucking blitzed and trying to initiate a makeout session with a cake shaped like a black man's penis wearing a fifth-grader's piano recital dress. (Seriously, what is that cake supposed to be?)
That same day, Carmen Electra, age 38, hosted a night at the Rio. I assume, based on her brief marriage to Dennis Rodman, it was Carmen who explained to the staff at Tao what it lo...
With a fresh crop of oozing zits, that is.
... How old are you, Jon? And you're still breaking out like a pubescent little boy who's hiding dirty magazines underneath his mattress and who can't go more than 45 minutes without jacking off?
Oh, wait.
Yeah, normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for something out of their control -- like over-active facial sebaceous glands -- but Jon Gosselin sucks, so I'm socking it to him and hitting him where it hurts. (I'd knock him in the nuts, but I've heard that I might have a hard time finding them, and frankly, I don't have that kind of time on my hands these days.)
The grosser-half of the former Gosselin marriage is photographed at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood, sucking back a milkshake that probably has 1500 calories in it. Not that, you know, that might have anything to do with the condition of his skin.
Keep sucking, Jon -- stick to what you're good at.
[gallery] />With a fresh crop of oozing zits, that is.
... How old are you, Jon? And you're still breaking out like a pubescent little boy who's hiding dirty magazines underneath his mattress and who can't go more than 45 minutes without jacking off?
Oh, wait.
Yeah, normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for something out of their control -- like over-active facial sebaceous glands -- but Jon Gosselin sucks, so I'm socking it to him and hitting him where it hurts. (I'd knock him in the nuts, but...
Radar has posted another audio clip of Mel Gibson spewing hate at Oksana, and this one's about eight minutes long. It's also a little more intense - I couldn't get through the whole thing. In the clip, Mel threatens to kill Oksana twice and tells her she deserved his abuse. He also tells her that she treats him "like shit" and she "fucking used" him, all while panting like a dog. I'm not going to post some of the more vivid quotes, you can listen to the audio if you're so inclined, but mostly I'm just kind of shocked over the whole thing. And it's not even that the dad from The Patriot or fucking Braveheart could say such things, it's that anyone can say such things.
Over the weekend, Mel was dropped by his agents, and he's currently up for three possible offenses: domestic violence, child endangerment, and assault with a deadly weapon. It looks like this might be the straw that broke the camel's back (the straw being this particular showcase of Mel's overwhelming hate and anger issues, the camel being the entertainment industry's unwavering love for Mel Gibson). Let's hope that Mel can just get locked in a cell, padded or otherwise, and at the very least not be able to graphically threaten death to the mother of his child. That's about all I'm willing to hope for at this point. />Radar has posted another audio clip of Mel Gibson spewing hate at Oksana, and this one's about eight minutes long. It's also a little more intense - I couldn't get through the whole thing. In the clip, Mel threatens to kill Oksana twice and tells her she deserved his abuse. He also tells her that she treats him "like shit" and she "fucking used" him, all while panting like a dog. I'm not going to post some of the more vivid quotes, you can listen to the audio if you're so inclined, but mostly...
From the YouTube description:
Brett Domino and Steven Peavis perform a medley of Justin Timberlake hits using assorted miniature instruments and lap tray travel bags (Trabasacks - for more info go to http://www.trabasack.co.uk ).
The medley includes:
SEXYBACK (written by Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, Nate "Danja" Hills)
LIKE I LOVE YOU (written by Justin Timberlake, Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo, Terrence Thornton, Gene Thornton)
LOVESTONED (written by Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, Nate "Danja" Hills).
Performed on:
Stylophone Beatbox, iPod Touch (using DigiDrummer Lite), Kazoo, Thumb Piano, Shaker, Stylophone, Cowbell, Recorder, Ukulele, Theremin, Spoons, and Roland AX-Synth.
This is so brilliant. How have I not seen this before? Oh, right, because the Internet is supersaturated with the cumulative and overwhelming creative genius of an entire planet, to the point that it's become an near-indifferentiable mass of everything that's pure and inimitable about humanity.
It's a beautiful thing. />
From the YouTube description:
Brett Domino and Steven Peavis perform a medley of Justin Timberlake hits using assorted miniature instruments and lap tray travel bags (Trabasacks - for more info go to http://www.trabasack.co.uk ).
The medley includes:
SEXYBACK (written by Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, Nate "Danja" Hills)
LIKE I LOVE YOU (written by Justin Timberlake, Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo, Terrence Thornton, Gene Thornton)
LOVESTONED (written by Justin Timberlake, Timbalan...
Happy Birthday, Jess! Your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is definitely top-notch, and just by the kiss, I can surmise that you guys are pretty happy right now.
I won't mention how it looks like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that's part of your whole "sexual napalm" thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?
Bitch is the original Spiderwoman. Just ... hotter. />Happy Birthday, Jess! Your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is definitely top-notch, and just by the kiss, I can surmise that you guys are pretty happy right now.
I won't mention how it looks like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that's part of your whole "sexual napalm" thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?
Bitch is the original Spiderwoman. Just ... hotter....
I think I speak for most women when I say that. Don't even lie, ladies.
Did you guys catch the premiere of his dating show, The Ultimate Catch, last night? I swear, of all the reality TV dating shows I've watched over the course of my life (and there have been many, I'm sad to admit), I have always been kind of like "What are these girls fighting over? This dude sucks." Like, Jake Pavelka? He's a decent-looking guy, but about as exciting as that final World Cup game. (OMG U GUYS I MADE A SPORTS REFERENCE! Also: I only know that the game was boring because people were talking about it on Twitter. Actually: I know that the game was boring because the game was soccer.)
I did have a marginal crush on Andrew Firestone back in the day, when I was young and naive and stupid, and before one of my friends actually slept with him and told me he's a total snoozefest.
But now: Chad Ochocinco! I'm in love. I'm totally smitten. He's unbelievably fucking sexy, he's smart, he's crazy ambitious, he's funny, he's charming, he's interesting, he doesn't even drink, and he seems genuinely invested in treating other people with respect. Did I mention that he's unbelievably fucking sexy?
Oh, Chad Ochocinco. I love everything I've seen of you so far, and I assume I'll like the parts I haven't seen even better. Can we go on a date soon please? Can we go on a date in your bedroom? You can pick me up at 7. Pick me up and do anything you want with me.
I love you.
[gallery] />VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip
I think I speak for most women when I say that. Don't even lie, ladies.
Did you guys catch the premiere of his dating show, The Ultimate Catch, last night? I swear, of all the reality TV dating shows I've watched over the course of my life (and there have been many, I'm sad to admit), I have always been kind of like "What are these girls fighting over? This dude sucks." Like, Jake Pavelka? He's a decent-looking guy, but about as exciting a...
Eat
out your heart out, Jennifer Aniston.
Jolie's been stumping a lot for her latest movie, Salt, and was recently photographed for Vanity Fair, who exposed the actress's newest ink -- a script tattoo on her inner thigh. MTV news recently interviewed the star and asked her outright what the deal was with the new tattoo:
“Um, it’s for Brad,” Jolie demurred with a smile.
What does it say? I don't know. I think it's in a different language, the photo's really blurry, and it's in an unfortunate font.
But I'm all for it! I love tattoos, and Jolie's got some pretty sweet ones. My most recent one is on my back, and that was a script tattoo as well. Plus, it's in French. I can say, I'm with Angelina when she says that she likes to keep her tats private, and if that means by inking them in a language that's not native to the area in which you reside, so be it. I dig it, I did it, I condone it.
(Oh, and the tattoo probably says something along the lines of, "You better enjoy yourself when you're down here, Brad, or I'll cut your balls off with a rusty watering can.") />Eat out your heart out, Jennifer Aniston.
Jolie's been stumping a lot for her latest movie, Salt, and was recently photographed for Vanity Fair, who exposed the actress's newest ink -- a script tattoo on her inner thigh. MTV news recently interviewed the star and asked her outright what the deal was with the new tattoo:
“Um, it’s for Brad,” Jolie demurred with a smile.
What does it say? I don't know. I think it's in a different language, the photo's really blurry, and it's in an unf...