Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Happy Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail Day!!!

AND IT BEGINS!!! It doesn't look like our precious LiLo is going to maneuver her way out of a jail stay, after having been dumped by her high-profile, short-term lawyer Robert Shapiro. Sources say that Lindsay's former lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, will accompany her to the courthouse tomorrow, where she is expected to surrender at 8:30 am. “My advice to the defendant, Ms. Lohan, is to show up tomorrow, on time,” said Danette Meyers, the Deputy District Attorney prosecuting the case. Tragically, the whole thing may not be caught on camera. From CNN:
Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel has placed tight restrictions on what the public will be able to see at the court hearing. While the world watched as Lohan broke down in tears at her sentencing on July 6, the public won't be able to see the actress handcuffed and taken into custody on Tuesday, the judge ruled. Cameras also must stop rolling when the judge announces that Lohan is remanded and the bailiff is instructed to take her into custody. The judge also ordered that photos of Lohan must be restricted to when she's at the counsel table.
That's kind of a bummer, but I guess it comes hand-in-hand with a judge who actually fucking cares whether this young girl lives or dies. LINDSAY! GET EXCITED! This is an opportunity to actually be no-bullshit sober for six months. To have a gods-honest shot at actually turning your life around for the better. I'm so excited for you! It's the beginning, Lindsay! What do you guys think? Will Lindsay Lohan actually go to jail tomorrow: n
{democracy:19}
/> AND IT BEGINS!!! It doesn't look like our precious LiLo is going to maneuver her way out of a jail stay, after having been dumped by her high-profile, short-term lawyer Robert Shapiro. Sources say that Lindsay's former lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, will accompany her to the courthouse tomorrow, where she is expected to surrender at 8:30 am. “My advice to the defendant, Ms. Lohan, is to show up tomorrow, on time,” said Danette Meyers, the Deputy District Attorney prosecuting the case. ...

JWoww’s All Wet for You

My second-favorite Jersey Shore-ite, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, shows us what she paid for on the pages of Maxim. I actually kind of dig this shoot. Despite the fact that certain parts of her (coughbellybuttoncough) have been Photoshopped to within an inch of their lives, a lot of it comes off very natural and womanly. I like how you can see her freckles in most of the shots. That's cute. I like you, JWoww. I see big things for you. Well, actually, right now I just see big things on you, and the truth is once this Jersey Shore thing passes we'll never see or hear from you again, but for right now, kiddo, I like the way you're playin' it. [nggallery id=3 template=carousel images=4] />My second-favorite Jersey Shore-ite, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, shows us what she paid for on the pages of Maxim. I actually kind of dig this shoot. Despite the fact that certain parts of her (coughbellybuttoncough) have been Photoshopped to within an inch of their lives, a lot of it comes off very natural and womanly. I like how you can see her freckles in most of the shots. That's cute. I like you, JWoww. I see big things for you. Well, actually, right now I just see big things on you, and the trut...

Robert Shapiro Practices Tough Love with Lindsay Lohan, Quits as Her Attorney

On the eve of Lindsay's first day of jail time (check back tomorrow, as we'll be celebrating HAPPY LINDSAY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL DAY!), Robert Shapiro has quit as her attorney, after only three days of representing her. Shapiro and Lindsay abruptly met with Judge Marsha Revel late Monday afternoon. The prosecutor in the case was not present for the meeting. The high-profile attorney -- who, yes, represented OJ Simpson -- did not say why he quit on Lindsay, but in earlier public statements, he said he would represent her only if she agreed to go to jail and followed his instructions. My guess is she did neither. But you don't exactly have to be a genius to puzzle that one out. But, like, THANK GOD there are some people around her who aren't total enablers and psychopaths -- some people who have some understanding of her disease and are willing to be like, "No, Lindsay Lohan, if you're going to be behave this way, we're not going to support you." "Ms. Lohan is suffering from a disease that I am all too familiar with," Shapiro said publicly when he took her case -- his son died of a drug overdose in 2005, and he's since created a sober living facility in LA where Lindsay's been camping out since he became her attorney. Court records show that even though Shapiro has been representing Lindsay these past several days, her previous attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, never signed the substitution of attorney form, so technically she is still the attorney of record. She quit when she heard rumors that Lindsay was shopping around for another attorney. So who the hell is going to show up with Lindsay tomorrow when she's supposed to book into jail? Her Twitter feed -- which has been mostly ads today -- ended with this as of 8pm Monday:
the only "bookings" that i'm familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that i'd be "booking" into Jail... eeeks
Tomorrow? Is going to be sooooo much fun. /> On the eve of Lindsay's first day of jail time (check back tomorrow, as we'll be celebrating HAPPY LINDSAY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL DAY!), Robert Shapiro has quit as her attorney, after only three days of representing her. Shapiro and Lindsay abruptly met with Judge Marsha Revel late Monday afternoon. The prosecutor in the case was not present for the meeting. The high-profile attorney -- who, yes, represented OJ Simpson -- did not say why he quit on Lindsay, but in earlier public statements, he...

Lady Gaga Should Just Get a Tumblr or Something

Yesterday Lady Gaga reached out to her fans over Twitter to let them know they should ignore the protesters outside of her St. Louis show and in the process of doing so, she annoyed the hell out of anyone who didn't live in St. Louis and follows her on Twitter. OK, so probably not everyone, but definitely me. I had a low battery on my phone and every 30 seconds my UberTwitter was refreshing with the next 280 characters of Gaga's long-winded message. Twitter is a great way for celebs to reach out to their fans... in 140 characters just like everyone else does. When you cross over into a 12-Tweet message, just start a freakin' blog like John Mayer already. This reminds me of that time that that dude with the ugly nostrils was Tweeting about getting attacked by sea life or some dumb-ass shit and my Twitter was clogged up with his crap for hours. Ugh! 140 characters, people! 140 or take it elsewhere! /> Yesterday Lady Gaga reached out to her fans over Twitter to let them know they should ignore the protesters outside of her St. Louis show and in the process of doing so, she annoyed the hell out of anyone who didn't live in St. Louis and follows her on Twitter. OK, so probably not everyone, but definitely me. I had a low battery on my phone and every 30 seconds my UberTwitter was refreshing with the next 280 characters of Gaga's long-winded message. Twitter is a great way for celebs to reach out to...

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Just So Happy To Be Working

Jennifer Love Hewitt, who was once somewhat of an It Girl, has resorted to making Lifetime Original movies and plugging them enthusiastically as if she didn't just take the job to pay her electric bill. Her movie The Client List, which premieres tonight, is about a mother who resorts to prostitution in order to cover her family's bills. Jennifer talked with Us Weekly about the "film" and made it sound like it's a really important piece about where we're at as a society: "Given where we are economically, it's an interesting story....

Taylor Momsen Might Be The Best Example For Your Teenage Daughter

Bear with me for a sec. So 16-year old actress/singer Taylor Momsen recently did an interview in which she allegedly said that she's bored with men and that these days, her vibrator is her best friend. I think the immediate reaction that people are having is that it's wildly inappropriate for a teenage girl to be talking about getting herself off with a battery operated device, but I think this is actually one of the smartest things I've ever head a young star say in response to a dating question. Here's the thing: If Taylor Momsen is telling teenage girls that instead of spending time with dudes, they can stay at home and masturbate and not feel embarrassed about it, I think that's a great thing. It's certainly the best argument for abstinence that I've ever heard. She's not even saying "don't have sex" or pretending that teenagers don't want to get off like the rest of the world, she's just saying, "Hey, just because I don't hang out with pointless dudes doesn't mean I'm not getting mine." That's like, borderline the most mature thing I've ever heard a teenager say. Ever. /> Bear with me for a sec. So 16-year old actress/singer Taylor Momsen recently did an interview in which she allegedly said that she's bored with men and that these days, her vibrator is her best friend. I think the immediate reaction that people are having is that it's wildly inappropriate for a teenage girl to be talking about getting herself off with a battery operated device, but I think this is actually one of the smartest things I've ever head a young star say in response to a dating question. ...

Lindsay Has Another Warrant Out For Her Arrest… For Murdering Her Complex Shoot

With 90 days of jail and 90 days of rehab ahead of her, Lindsay Lohan is giving us some of her best work in recent years to remember her by. Instead of another creepy photo shoot of her twerking it in overpriced leggings, we get her spread in Complex. The photos, which are accompanied by a pretty must-read article (I'm obsessed with the intro: "Rappers might be on that rock shit, but Lindsay Lohan is on that rap shit. Flaking on interviews? Check. Unrepentant bad behaviour? Check. Gully enough to ignore a bench warrant, come back from Europe for a legal hearing, and have her court-supplied alcohol bracelet go off at the MTV Movie Awards? Check and mate. She's Weezy, Yeezy, and motherfucking Jeezy all in one."), are completely gorgeous. Lindsay looks like the siren that we all fell in love with around the time that she was just finishing Mean Girls, meaning fairly healthy and like the age she actually is. God, I'll miss this girl. [gallery] />With 90 days of jail and 90 days of rehab ahead of her, Lindsay Lohan is giving us some of her best work in recent years to remember her by. Instead of another creepy photo shoot of her twerking it in overpriced leggings, we get her spread in Complex. The photos, which are accompanied by a pretty must-read article (I'm obsessed with the intro: "Rappers might be on that rock shit, but Lindsay Lohan is on that rap shit. Flaking on interviews? Check. Unrepentant bad behaviour? Check. Gully enough to ignor...

In Other News …

Is there ever anything better than seeing your favorite celebrities sans Photoshop and makeup? ... I thought not. [Celebslam] The Seinfeld finale topped viewership over Avatar and why television is sometimes much better than film. How 'bout them apples. [Pajiba] Hm. Kate Hudson didn't strike me as a smoker. Maybe she's trying to play it all cool for her new British friends. [Celebitchy] Hey Gwen Stefani? You look ridick. Get with it, girl. [Amy Grindhouse] Yeah, Paris Hilton doesn't smoke pot or anything, right? [CityRag] Dakota Fanning does Marie Claire magazine. And I'm falling asleep. [Pop on the Pop] Joan Rivers tries to move her face, fails, laughs at herself; world laughs at her attempt at laughter, cringes at the same time. [Zelda Lily] Will you be watching RuPaul's Drag U?! GET PSYCHED! ... No? OK. Me either. [OMG Blog] Kelly Osbourne is smoking hot, and will get over the douche she was engaged to. I'm confident. [Celebrity Smack Blog] />Is there ever anything better than seeing your favorite celebrities sans Photoshop and makeup? ... I thought not. [Celebslam] The Seinfeld finale topped viewership over Avatar and why television is sometimes much better than film. How 'bout them apples. [Pajiba] Hm. Kate Hudson didn't strike me as a smoker. Maybe she's trying to play it all cool for her new British friends. [Celebitchy] Hey Gwen Stefani? You look ridick. Get with it, girl. [Amy Grindhouse] Yeah, Paris Hilton doesn't ...

It’s Been A Rough Week For Kelly Osbourne

Just last week, Kelly and her fiance, Luke,  broke up and talked about it on Facebook.  She went out this past weekend to hang out in Las Vegas and cheer herself up, and when she got back home, she found out that her puppy was dead, so she talked about it on Twitter:
My life just could not get any worst right now I come home to find my dog woody is dead
The puppy, an adorable Pomeranian, was bought by Kelly back in June for Luke because he was jealous that their other dog, Sid, liked Kelly better than him. Oh, Kelly.  Somebody run out and buy her some ice cream or a classy prostitute right quick, help a sister out.  I've never had a fiance or a puppy, but I'm sure losing either would be awful.  I guess losing both within a week of each other might qualify for "devastated" status, so y'all get on making some care packages for her. />Just last week, Kelly and her fiance, Luke,  broke up and talked about it on Facebook.  She went out this past weekend to hang out in Las Vegas and cheer herself up, and when she got back home, she found out that her puppy was dead, so she talked about it on Twitter: My life just could not get any worst right now I come home to find my dog woody is dead The puppy, an adorable Pomeranian, was bought by Kelly back in June for Luke because he was jealous that their other dog, Sid, liked Kelly b...

Some Hipsters Are Trying to Save The World in The Best Way

War Child, an organization that strives to protect children in war zones, has announced their newest fundraising project:  a David Bowie tribute album.  I cannot say with enough fervor the words "sign me the fuck up." The album, titled We Were So Turned On, is due to be released on October 11, and all profits go straight to War Child.  I'm not enough of a hipster to have heard of most of the artists - Warpaint,  Chairlift, I have no clue - on the album, but it looks like they're mostly sticking to Bowie's lesser known stuff ("Quicksand" and "Memory of a Free Festival" are on there!). I've actually only heard of one of the bands doing a cover, and that band is Duran Duran, who are doing "Boys Keep Swinging."  Duran Duran, you guys. I don't even understand this project a little bit. "Memory of a Free Festival" as performed by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros is available for free download, and if that's an example of what this album's going to be like, then no really, sign me up.  I'd also like to, you know, help out some kids. I'll see you guys on October 11th! />War Child, an organization that strives to protect children in war zones, has announced their newest fundraising project:  a David Bowie tribute album.  I cannot say with enough fervor the words "sign me the fuck up." The album, titled We Were So Turned On, is due to be released on October 11, and all profits go straight to War Child.  I'm not enough of a hipster to have heard of most of the artists - Warpaint,  Chairlift, I have no clue - on the album, but it looks like they're mostly st...

Wisdom Does Not Come With Age

And if an eighteen year-old girl is getting Botox to keep "fresh," it's a safe bet to say that though her eighteen years of life experience has probably brought her tumultuous amounts of insight, this is where the buck stops. Adorable and talented Filipino singer Charice Pempengco has got the world by the balls: she's been on Oprah, her singing talents have been showcased worldwide, and now she's in an exclusive spot on Glee. But clearly, the world isn't enough -- Charice, 18, admittedly gets Botox treatments in order to keep her looks -- and face -- "fresh":
The 18-year-old Charice, whose singing career rocketed after appearing on Ellen DeGeneres' and Oprah Winfrey's talk shows, underwent a 30-minute Thermage skin-tightening procedure and Botox to make her "naturally round face" more narrow, celebrity cosmetic surgeon Vicki Belo told ABS-CBN television.
Oh, come on. Really? You know, it's one thing to use Botox to correct, you know, flaws if you have them and just can't stand them (a topic for another day), but it's a totally different thing to use Botox -- a potentially harmful substance as many claim -- in a face that's not even through maturing. For crying out loud, this girl's not even done breaking out. Great job, media beauty. You've passed your disease along to barely adults. This girl can't even buy a beer yet, but she's going under the needle to "freshen" her young, young face. God help her when she's twenty and she has the facial stoicisms of Nicole Kidman. />And if an eighteen year-old girl is getting Botox to keep "fresh," it's a safe bet to say that though her eighteen years of life experience has probably brought her tumultuous amounts of insight, this is where the buck stops. Adorable and talented Filipino singer Charice Pempengco has got the world by the balls: she's been on Oprah, her singing talents have been showcased worldwide, and now she's in an exclusive spot on Glee. But clearly, the world isn't enough -- Charice, 18, admittedly gets Bot...

Is Mischa Barton Getting … Laid?

Ugh. Sorry. I didn't even realize myself how awful that visual was until I typed it out. My bad. But in all honesty, (because, c'mon, we know that very few self-respecting men would even fling a pork sword in her general direction) it looks like she's paid some dude to appear all boyfriendesque in public for She the Former Star Who Now Appears Crusty. Mischa's new boyfriend DJ Ali (snort) Love, who has Megan Fox club thumbs in the one photo below, the skinniest legs I've ever seen on a man and is wearing a rosary around his NECK -- enough said! -- is definitely a decoy. For what? I don't fucking know. The smell. The crust. It could be a multitude of things, but I'm not getting close enough to either one of them to thoroughly examine anything. [Update: Hats off to the reader that clarified that the above photo does not include Barton's new boyfriend, DJ Ali Love.  I'm off to go rip apart a photo agency for mislabeling a bunch of photos.  Bonus points to anyone who can find a photo of DJ Ali Love, 'cause I spent way too much time searching to come up empty-handed. But I do stick by my original analysis that designer Philipp Plein, the guy above, has Megan Fox thumbs.] [gallery] />Ugh. Sorry. I didn't even realize myself how awful that visual was until I typed it out. My bad. But in all honesty, (because, c'mon, we know that very few self-respecting men would even fling a pork sword in her general direction) it looks like she's paid some dude to appear all boyfriendesque in public for She the Former Star Who Now Appears Crusty. Mischa's new boyfriend DJ Ali (snort) Love, who has Megan Fox club thumbs in the one photo below, the skinniest legs I've ever seen on a m...
Copyright © 2007-2020 Evil Beet Gossip AACG, LLC.