Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. I guess stranger things have happened, huh?
Last night, The Situation celebrated his 28th birthday (which is not until next week — July 5th, make sure to mark your calendars, guido-lovers and guidette-lovers alike) at a club in New York City. The party was chock-full of tanned girls, greasy, shaved abs and came complete with a cake in the mold of a gross torso. Mmm, crème de la chest cavity. Delish.
The goob took his natural stance and signed augmented cleavage and posed for many, many (many) pictures with *his shirt pulled up to his chin.
Happy Birthday, Situation. I guess.
*And really, what’s going to happen one fine day when his sculpted abs magically turn into something with the consistency of marshmallow fluff? It’s gonna happen, dude … one way or another. There’s no denying the laws of gravity, unless you’re full of enough money to preserve “perfection.” But you star on <i>Jersey Shore</i>. I don’t think your money’s going to last you very long. Start saving, pally.
He's such a gomer. You're wearing a shirt with buttons . . . wouldn't it look a lot less ridiculous if you just opened your shirt the way God intended it to be opened (i.e. by unbuttoning). I'm so tired of seeing your elbows pointing up. You do not and cannot look cool when you're airing out your pits like that.
He look-a like-a penis.
How do you write up this story without pointing out that, on this cake, his penis has taken the place of his head? ;)
Learn HTML.