American Idol Finale: So, What Did You Think?

I thought last night’s show was all sorts of giddy, clappin’-hands amazing. From Siobhan Magnus performing with the Bee Gees, to fucking Bret Michaels appearing to sing “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” with Casey James to Joe Cocker’s “With a Little Help From My Friends.” And yes, I am so excited about these three performances (among many, many others), that I’m going to share them with you. Like, right here. Now.

Yeah, that was awesome. I mean, aside from the whole Siobhan Magnus part, anyway. While she’s undoubtedly talented, I’m far too distracted by the crazy-eyes thing that she’s got going on to concentrate on her killer pipes. Oh, that and the fact that I couldn’t tell who was who singing in the beginning — Aaron Kelly or Siobhan. They sound so … alike.

And then there was this. I always had a huge fondness for this Joe Cocker song and I think a lot of it had to do with watching the Wonder Years when I was growing up. You know how most people had a super-crush on Winnie Cooper or Kevin Arnold? Yeah. My ten year-old self totally wanted a serious piece of Paul Pfeiffer preppy ass. Laugh if you will, but I’m big enough to finally admit it now.

And then this. I didn’t even know I loved Bret Michaels as much as I did until I saw him enter the stage to play with Casey James. Really. Don’t even know the dude, but I was so pleased and happy for him and proud of him, in light of his recent health issues, that I almost fell off the couch. I was all like, “Is that Bret Michaels? No … it’s gotta be some kind of super-imposed image on a green screen or a hologram or something, right? Fuck … it is Bret Michaels! And I thought he was on his deathbed!!” Way to go, Bret. Honestly. Way to go, man.

And by far, my favorite moment of the night? Uh, finding out that they’re holding auditions over the next few weeks in New Orleans. Mind-blower. Not that I live even remotely close; [let’s play a guessing game — “Where Does Sarah Live?” — I’ll give you a hint] I’m precisely 1213.41 miles northeast of New Orleans, Louisiana. And yes, I’m assuming that there are going to be auditions a bit closer to where I live, but if you know me at all, you know of the bond that I have with New Orleans.

New Orleans and I are kind of obsessed with each other (I’m obvious about it, me, but he’s a little more reserved than I am, to say the least). The city’s like that boyfriend that looooves our sex, but just doesn’t want to be seen in public with me — so naturally, I’m at his beck and call. He never comes to visit me, so I have to come running every time he calls on a whim, or when I feel the compulsion to see him. For me, American Idol auditions and the city of New Orleans go better together than cold spaghetti and a glass of milk.

And so … guess who’s gonna be visiting that hot-assed boyfriend in just a few short weeks? That’d be me. And damn. Looks like things are getting serious; this is the second time I’ve seen him in three months.  Who knows — maybe we’ll end up moving in together.

So, what was your favorite Idol moment last night? Did you watch? Did you love it? Did you even care?

Oh, yeah, duh. And if you didn’t watch, Lee won last night. Called it, bitches.