I don’t, ’cause I’m not into that whole shock-type of visual assault, but I’m sure there’s got to be a market for something like this somewhere or another.
Rachel Uchitel, the mistress of both Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz (and God knows who else), is taking Playboy up on their offer to pose nude for the illustrious skin mag. However, she’s not willing to show her gilded promised-land cooter — the mistress is only interested in showing her fake tits and plastic ass.
It seems like only yesterday she was mourning the loss of her boyfriend who was killed during the 9/11 attacks. Uchitel was quoted earlier in the decade stating that she doesn’t think of her former fiance with regret any longer:
“When I think of Andy I no longer cry. I smile and I laugh. I’m at that point now. I can go on everyday knowing that somebody like him chose me to love.”
After she lost her Andy in the attacks, she found love and solace in the arms of a former classmate, Steven Ehrenkranz. Although some “insiders” claimed that Uchitel was a ho with a penchant for married men (Uchitel had a “history of being with married men” and had been called “self-destructive.”) Ehrenkranz blindly married the cock-bandit in 2004 and the couple divorced four months later. Gotta dig that ever-lasting kind of love.
My my, how far we’ve come Ms. Uchitel. Wherever they are, your Andy and your ex-husband must be so damned proud of you. Keep on keepin’ on, woman: your next investment Hef calls.
When I first looked at the photo I thought to myself that she cut her hair shorter and got some highlights, but then my friend pointed out I was looking at the dogs ass, and the aforementioned Ta-tas were its balls.
She doesn’t need to show her cooter in Playboy because it’s pretty much all showing in this pic.