So I guess ever dating Gwyneth Paltrow is totally out of the question.
Jake dishes on his upcoming movie, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and the film’s use of ostriches to enhance the film’s ambiance. Gyllenhaal states:
“They would say, ‘Don’t make any noise around the ostriches. They’ll tear out your eyes and rip out your heart.’ So, I was naturally terrified … They look like they’re innocent, but they’re really not.”
Prince of Persia is based on the video game of the same name and follows a prince (Gyllenhaal) on his quest to prevent worldwide doom in a scantily-clad kind of way, similar to almost every other fantasy/action movie. On the whole, it sounds alright, but I think it’s going to be one of those movies I happen to see accidentally, rather than making the conscious effort to get in my car, drive seven miles to the nearest theater and pay ten bucks to see a movie that features a shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal … ’cause it’s Gyllenhaal shirtless or not.
The moral of the story? Keep the hell away from ostriches (and Gwyneth Paltrow) at all costs.
This is going to be the biggest flop since Heaven’s Gate.
How fucking old are you, douche? That movie reference makes you about 60 years old, and a fucking loser to boot.
I’m not as old apparently, I was going to say Waterworld.