Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OMG LOL 4Realz: Kids Reenact “The Hills”

This is insanely LOL-funny. The must-watch of the day. Is everyone SO PUMPED for the final season of The Hills to start tonight? Tragically, my answer to that question is a resounding "yes." I am a total tool. But seriously have you seen the clips of Heidi attempting to cry with her plastic face? It's AMAZING. (The trailer is after the jump -- Heidi "cries" around 2:34.) Read More...

Despite Many Surgeries and Injections, Joan Rivers is Still Able to Open Her Mouth — Unfortunately.

After the not-so-famous-anymore and more-infamous-than-anything Joan Rivers opened her trap about wanting Mel Gibson to "fucking die," I totally thought she'd lay low for awhile. Not that many people really disagreed with her, but damn ... them's fighting words. Rivers recently spoke on a topic that she knows oodles about: plastic surgery. And who better to critique shitty plastic surgery than the Queen of All Things Shitty Plastic? Rivers spoke to US Magazine and commended Heidi Montag -- of all people -- on her various plastic surgeries, stating that the reality star should have "started sooner" -- like at age thirteen. Rivers also claimed t...

Jason Alexander Mowed Down a Kid on Bike Today

Oh, George Costanza ... you zany old character, you. Best pay attention when you're driving, fool. Reps for Jason Alexander confirm that the star was involved in a minor vehicle accident earlier this morning that involved a fourteen year-old boy ramming his bike into the Seinfeld actor's car. The child suffered minor bumps and bruises, but was taken to the hospital for precautionary evaluation anyway. Jason's rep claimed that the star acted "responsibly" and stayed with the cyclist until the paramedics and parents arrived at the ...

Quotables

"Everyone gave me so much shit because Gavin sounded like a lot like Kurt ... But man, he was such an Adonis in his day! He got good in bed ... something happened. Maybe Gwen taught him, for all I know." Courtney Love "admitting" to having slept with Gavin Rossdale. “Yes. She does know. Everyone ... yeah ... and a few other people. We didn't have a lot of pressure on each other, but we did like each other quite a bit." And Courtney Love in response to Howard Stern's question regarding Rossda...

Michael Lohan Claims That Lindsay is Living With HIV

Perez Hilton (who follows Michael Lohan's Twitter religiously, obviously) caught Papa L in the act of spreading some pretty major rumors about the health of his daughter, Lindsay. According to Lohan's Twitter, Lindsay is "living with HIV" because of the "decisions she's made" in life. Michael Lohan claims that he had a hacker break into his Twitter account yesterday and after he found out, he deleted the entire history of incriminating Tweets regarding Lindsay. However, if you look at the ...

Even Jesse James’ Dad Thinks His Son is a Nazi-Lovin’ Freak

Jesse James has been released from rehab and has been set out upon the world to resurrect his, uh, "image," and he's doing it sans wedding ring. Anyway, Huntington Beach was a pretty big place for drama to go down yesterday, what with Jesse's epic return home and Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson's fight that resulted in Ortiz's arrest. James arrived at his formerly-shared with Sandra Bullock home yesterday on the back of one of his hawgs. However, while Jesse's so obviously trying to rectify his mistakes (ha), his father had some less-than-productive comments on James' embel...

UFC Fighter Tito Ortiz Arrested and Released in Connection With the Alleged Beating of Jenna Jameson

Tito Ortiz, Jenna Jamesons' live-in boyfriend or whatever, was arrested early yesterday morning at the couple's shared home in Huntington Beach, California on allegations that he assaulted the former porn star. Ortiz, a UFC fighter, was said to have "freaked out" on his baby mama, Jenna Jameson. Ortiz claimed that he had no part in injuring Jameson and maintains a position stating that she "injured herself" while under the influence of Oxycontin, a drug that she's reportedly abused for years. However, Jenna claims that Tito "threw" her into a tub and hurt her both physically and mentally. In an interview earlier...

Celebrities Behind Bars: Randy & Evi Quaid

The lesser-known of the Quaid family, Randy, and his wife Evi, have had a long history of weird violence, extortion, skipping out on hearings and dodging bail. But alas, the law catches up even with the most obscure and downtrodden of celebrities. The new-age Bonnie and Clyde were arrested in Santa Barbara for showing up to a court hearing two weeks late in connection with "defrauding an innkeeper." The two have been arraigned on several charges aside from dodging hearings; they're being charged with burglary and conspiracy. Don't worry, Randy. I st...

Ch-ch-changes: Facebook Connect Commenting

We're making an effort to vault ourselves into at least late 2009, so we've added Facebook Connect commenting capabilities to the site. When you go to comment, you'll see a little "Connect with Facebook" button above the normal commenting field. If you click this, you can give us permission to pull in your Facebook photo and your profile link. Then you can comment using your Facebook account and (if you choose to) share your comment with your friends on Facebook. This does not give us access to your Facebook login information, and we won't post anything to your profile unless you've specifically requested and approved it. I know a lot of you love using pseudonyms on here, and you will be able to continue doing so. You don't HAVE to use your Facebook profile to comment. But you CAN. We're going to be making a lot of changes in the next month or two to make this site more "social" and to make it easier for you to connect with each other and to share your love of gossip with the people in your network. I'd love to hear your feedback on the new commenting capabilities, and what you'd like to see moving forward. Leave it in the comments or email me at evilbeet@gmail.com! />We're making an effort to vault ourselves into at least late 2009, so we've added Facebook Connect commenting capabilities to the site. When you go to comment, you'll see a little "Connect with Facebook" button above the normal commenting field. If you click this, you can give us permission to pull in your Facebook photo and your profile link. Then you can comment using your Facebook account and (if you choose to) share your comment with your friends on Facebook. This does not give us access t...

CoCo’s Back!

Conan O'Brien kicked off his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on TV Tour this weekend in LA (I have friends that went. I spaced on buying a ticket. I'm still not prepared to talk about it, really) and The Pale One totally delivered. Check out this clip above of Conan singing, of all things It's Not Easy (Superman) by Five for Fighting. After a moment he's joined on stage by none other than everyone's favorite new Twitter user, Jim Carrey. This was only the first night of Conan's tour, and I'm sure that the guest appearances will contin...

Well, It Wasn’t The Best Show, But…

Late last week I was talking up how well I thought Gabourey Sidibe's turn at hosting SNL would go, but uh... She was just alright. This Digital Short (consistently one of the high points of the show) Cherry Battle was pretty funny, but Gabby still messed up a few of her lines. Actually, that was consistently her problem on the show. Good improvisational skills are important when you're hosting the most fast-paced sketch show in the game. Also a disappointment? MGMT. They weren't exactly dropping Ke$ha-style suck bombs, but they were definitely "eh" at ...

In Other News …

See, I told you that Kim Kardashian was totally regretting her nudie shoot. [Celebslam] I agree. Aaron Eckhart is pretty cute. [popbytes] Um, what happened to Cary Elwes' face? [Pajiba] Gwnyeth Paltrow wants a piece of Robert Downey, Jr. in the worst way. [Celebitchy] What Beyonce's going to look like when she's fifty. [Amy Grindhouse] I'd trade my entire body for this ass. Guess who it belongs to. [CityRag] Justin Bieber causes fandemonium-type pandemonium. 'Scuse me while I go slit my wrists. [Pop on the Pop] Sex, sex, sex and, uh, anal sex: Do you wrap it up when you enter the back door? [Zelda Lily] />See, I told you that Kim Kardashian was totally regretting her nudie shoot. [Celebslam] I agree. Aaron Eckhart is pretty cute. [popbytes] Um, what happened to Cary Elwes' face? [Pajiba] Gwnyeth Paltrow wants a piece of Robert Downey, Jr. in the worst way. [Celebitchy] What Beyonce's going to look like when she's fifty. [Amy Grindhouse] I'd trade my entire body for this ass. Guess who it belongs to. [CityRag] Justin Bieber causes fandemonium-type pandemonium. 'Scuse me whi...
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