Once I get a hold of Barbie’s plastic surgeon, I’m going to find out just the secret … then I will market the amazing compound known as Heidi’s faux-skin to Yankee Candle and I will make fucking millions off of ever-burning candles.
How does this shit even tan without shriveling up, smoking and turning black in the same way cigarette-pack cellophane does when you expose it to too much heat?
IDFK, man.
Heidi Montag was photographed this past weekend looking like the wax-version of herself (and hell, who can really tell … maybe the Madame Tussaud’s figure’s been making appearances lately — you never would know) and somehow avoids melting in the hot, hot sun.
How bizarre.
The middle-aged guys and the girl with the paunchy stomach in the background? Even they’re wondering the same thing: WTF.
PS, Heidi: Your pube-stubble’s showing. There’s gotta be some kind of waxy overlay that you can apply to prevent hair follicles from sprouting, kid. Have at it!
Dead eyes.
Agreed.
But I feel a little bad,
Like what in this world made her think she had to look like that?
Tits aside, I can’t get past her face.
It looks like a combination of this:
http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/5326/spongesg0.jpg
and this:
http://cjdavies.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/rumer-willis.jpg
I didn’t even have to go to the links you provided to laugh out loud – I just see that it’s Sponge Bob and Rumer…too funny!
I went and it’s not even Sponge Bob. It’s just a sponge!!
Awww, The poor baby looks like she woke up hungover with an eyebrow shaved.
And someone.
Please shoot me if my tits ever look like that.
I just.
I just want to pop one of them.
I love how the dudes in the background are getting a kick out of this shit. Seriously. She is officially a circus freak. Throw a beard on her and she’s fit for Ringling Bros.
I’m gonna puke.
so sad…she doesn’t look like a human being anymore
What happened to banning these people from this gossip site? We keep seeing posts about them, please take this down…
yeah, i’m sure the authors are just going to up and take something on down because you said so.
no seriously, there was some sort of ban declared by beet herself around the time of them talking about getting married. it was nice to have found a website that didn’t cater to their narcissism. but they are creeping back…
Yeah, the new bloggers suck. I miss Beet’s writing.
two words: clown boobs
Those tits… Those. Tits. Massive. Horrendous!
those boobs look so fucking painful.
She looks like she’s balding. I can’t believe a person can actually look PLASTIC.
everything about her body looks so painful.
Instead of plastic surgery masking her insecurities she seems to have her insides matching her outsides. I feel sad for her because she is so unhappy.
No, that’s her happy face now!
You’re just not used to the new “movements” of her face!
LOL!
I can actually hear her boobs screaming in agony.
The obvious irony is that her husband probably isn’t allowed or is afraid to touch them. She probably lies on her back at night, passed out on sleeping pills, wearing a bra and praying that she doesn’t get a wrinkle.
I wonder what sorts of acting jobs she’s going to get now. For a while it will be the bimbo, but after she’s about 40? The pathetic, sad bimbo?
Just – ugh.
She’ll do the Reese Witherspoon character’s nails in the remake of Legally Blonde.
LMAO!!!!!! Perfect role! The bend and snap will have a whole new meaning.
What’s that going on downstairs? Didn’t her mother ever tell her about the hazards of wiping forward?
I want to know if her arms hurt from the angle she has to hold them at … Why would someone do that to herself????????
Woah, I just noticed that! Is it because her big soccer ball boobs are in the way? Can that even happen?! If so, I guess it’s proof that the body was not made for these extremes.
Ridiculous lips / tits / ass implants aside, her stomach looks enviably perfect. :(
unbelievable. melissa is totally right – typically plastic surgery attempts to mask insecurities. all she’s done is put them on display for the world to see. i’ll never understand women who think this is attractive. another perfect example of this, imho, is shanoon tweed, the “wife” of gene simmons of kiss.
Yeah, that reminds me of what a fucking great example Gene Simmons is for just “being yourself” and not trying to raise attention to your insecurities.
i cant believe no one commented on the “how bizarre” lyrics thrown in there. lol. awesome sauce.
Yeauuuuuhhhh! I am so glad someone finally caught that. I was going to go to bed tonight very upset if no one had noticed my homage to “How Bizarre.”
she’s actually hunching her shoulders to carry the weight of those things.
OMG she looks like crap. Talk about screaming “LOW SELF ESTEEM” Pathetic is all I can say about her wanna be self…
I actually think that she has a mental problem. There is just NO WAY that any sane human being can 1). marry Spencer Pratt 2). think that those fake boobs look good….or really, think that ANY of the work she had done looks good and/or natural. Plus, her enormous chest now makes it seem as though she has no neck.
This Bitch,NO!meetingrich.com
I don’t mind her face, it is not that bad, BUT THOSE BOOBS. Honestly. As a big-breasted female, sure, I understand, but they look fake. really fake, ick. She shoulda gone for like a C or a D max! Maybe a DD because she’s a curvier girl.
Sarah,
Don’t you know plastic surgery goes under the skin?
By the way this article is written, it seems you think that she is covered in a layer of “faux-skin” :|