I know we’ve had a lot of changes around here since the new year. We said goodbye to our beloved Wendie and Kelly, and welcomed Molls and Sarah on as our new weekday writers. We’re currently in the process of hiring a new weekend writer. I’ve taken on a lot of exciting new projects, like producing exclusive content for SuperPass, including Back to Reality, a new weekly entertainment show starring Chelsia Hart, Laremy Legel and myself (check out the trailer here!!!). I’m also delighted and proud to be a founding member of a local tech startup called Digri, which we’re hoping you’ll hear a lot more about in the future. We’ve already been featured in TechFlash, Seattle 2.0, Thrillist and at Twestival. In addition to the growth we’ve seen on Evil Beet over the past year, our one-year-old fem-blog baby, Zelda Lily, has exploded under the leadership of Sarah Spangenberg and Ashley Lindstrom, and continues to grow faster than I’d ever expected. I couldn’t be more pleased.
With everything I’ve got going on right now, I realized I’m not going to have time it takes to write the quality introspective pieces you’ve come to expect from my personal blog, Sasha is a Monster. This pains me, because SIAM has become something of a window into my soul. It’s where readers know they can come to get to know the real me, stripped of the Evil Beet voice and faux persona. SIAM is the truest representation of Sasha Pasulka as a human being. I hate to think that I’m not giving it the time and effort it deserves.
So, today, I’m delighted to announce that Molly McAleer will be taking over the authorship of my personal blog. Molly will start on Monday, giving you insight into my day-to-day life, friends, activities, struggles and triumphs. I’ve worked with Molly for over a year now, and so I know that, although we’ve never actually met face-to-face, she’s the ideal person to tell you all about exactly what I’m doing and feeling each and every day. She’s going to try to sound exactly like I would at all times, because I’ve asked her specifically to disguise any unique talent and voice she possesses in the interest of being a carbon copy of myself, because I know that’s what the readers have come to expect. On the days Molly can’t write on SIAM, Sarah will be filling in, usually in the early mornings. She’s also been asked to sound exactly like me, thinking to herself after each and every sentence, “Is this exactly what Sasha would write? Is any of my own personality accidentally peeking through?” I think it’s disruptive, ineffective and unfair to encourage writers to develop their own voices and styles, and I’m grateful that Molly and Sarah have agreed that it’s important to be perfect clones of me.
Without further ado, please head on over to Sasha is a Monster to welcome Molly and Sarah to their new positions.
Ha! You got me until about mid-way through the 3rd paragraph. I’m LOLing.
Phew! I was like, “why doesn’t she just not write the blog, then?”
:) Ya got me.
Big LOL – hehe, love it.
I’m trying to make any of this make sense. But when you have other people writing your autobiography is stops being an autobiography.
How self absorbed are you to think that people want to be so up to date on what you’re doing that we want to hear other people write about what you’re doing?
*shaking head at this whole mess*
Yeah, you’re right. It’s obvious I take myself waaaaay too seriously.
Ha, don’t you feel like an asshole now. LOLOL!
Hahaha, how much of a douche do you sound…
Mind your manners
Now you’re the worst commentor on TWO blogs, congrats!
lol sasha this was great! I love seeing March 32nd jokes
Zing! Hilarious!
OMG. Do adults really pay attention to April Fool’s Day? I don’t. Hence my inability to make sense of this senseless post.
Speakie Engrish?
“Do adults really pay attention to April Fool’s Day?”
Answer: Yes
“I don’t.”
Answer: You suck as a person. Rope, gun or pills. The Internet does not care.
I also don’t pinch people who don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day. I guess I just suck that way.
Good for you. An Orange Protestant.
I am dying of your avatar, EBD. LOLs.
Please go back on your meds, or take your own advice. You’re TOO sick.
How long have you been on the run as an escaped mental patient?
Even if it wasn’t April 1st, hopefully the fact that is was dripping with sarcasm would have given away that she wasn’t being serious.
What really bothers me the most is that I wasn’t sure that it wasn’t real.
The writing on this website has gotten really sloppy. Many people have been complaining about it for a very long time. Sasha has basically told us to shut up and get used to crappy writing. That shows a lack of concern for the people that read what she puts her name on.
On top of that, I’ve read her blog. A lot of the time it seems very trite and self absorbed. I realize there’s a certain amount of self absorption necessary to keep a personal blog, and I’m calling it trite by those standards.
Seriously, are you four years old, Alzaetia?
Oh, shut up. You sounded like a moron and you know it. Eat your words and move on. Do you really not have anything better to do than hang out here and be actively jealous of my life?
How ridiculously sad for you, Alzaetia, that you have nothing better to do than read blogs that you can’t stand, and then sit around and bitch about it.
She has the right to her opinion. And Beet I don’t think anyone is jealous of your “life”. She called you narcasistic and simple which you often are. Why don’t you just give up EB if you don’t give a shit about it anymore?
I totally agree. I used to like this blog, but its gotten bad. And the fact that this Sasha person tells you to move on is just pathetic. We pay her bills. I really hope she’s invested everything in this Digri business because I guarantee it will fail with that kind of attitude. I’m done with this blog. I’m taking it off my bookmarks.
Sasha- Good luck finding advertisers after you’ve alienated all of your readers.
Yes, we will get you “this Sasha person.” HA HA HA HA HA HA
Alzaetia got TOLD! I bet she’s wishing she hadn’t gone all Tila Tequila on Beet.
I agree with you Alzaetia 100% The writing on here has gone downhill over the last year. It wouldn’t be to much to have your employees proof read, or have someone else proofread, would it?
Well, now that you point it out, it is quite true. Molls, Kelly, Wendie all write humourous blogs and some people write blogs about design, decorating, fashion etc, but Sasha’s is just about Sasha and all her accomplishments. I agree, a bit conceited.
I could not be less jealous of your life. Having read bits of your blog and seen the things you post here it’s obvious that you want to belong to a world populated by shallow, false people. I’ve seen the pictures you post of yourself at red carpet events. Your eyes sparkle with excitement. You want to belong to that industry. I read your rant about L.A. It made me sad for you, not envious.
I started reading this blog when Wendie was a writer. She had obvious contempt for celebrities and that, coupled with her wit, was what drew me here to begin with. The few times I read your personal blog I was left with the sense that you were stuck in some sort of adolescence. But the things you wrote were funny, and I’m all about funny.
However, the more I read the more sad, and less funny, it became.
This response, your assertion that I am “actively jealous” of your life is just another example of you coming across as a 14 year old.
Yes, it was an April Fools joke. But it was believable because you come across as being that shallow and self absorbed. And the writing on this site has gone so far downhill that I have no expectation that you care even a little bit about what you put your name on.
In answer to your question, I have so many, many things to do that are more worthwhile than coming to an increasingly unfunny and poorly written celebrity gossip site out of habit.
Holy sh*t you talk to your own readers like that?
I don’t check much anymore, but when I do, it’s the blog owner acting like a 13-year-old girl toward the people who actually give you clicks?
The fact is, not noticing the date on the post I read it and thought to myself “what a stupid idea. But Sasha is getting narcissistic enough for that, and increasingly oblivious to low quality. So it’s not that shocking.”
Only when I got to the comments did I even realise it was a joke.
It was bad enough that the writing on here just started getting regularly unfunny (Molls’s lazy sarcasm, Sarah’s complete reliance on the strike-though punchline). But now you actually come on here and bitch at your readers and call them names for pointing it out.
I recently started checking the site way less because it was starting to suck. I’ll now be checking never because I have no desire to supoport a brat who whines about every damn thing.
And believe me Sasha, no one is jealous about the life you whine about, your man trouble, your thinly veiled jealousy of your cousin, your z-list “red carpet” appearances. You come across as desperate most of the time and I find myself feeling bad for you on a regular basis.
But not bad enough to keep supporting crap like this. Especially not when you act like a spoiled teenager about it.
(And as an aside, you should quit with the forhead botox–you look exactly the same in every single picture I’ve seen as you)
Now the bit about Molls writing your blog is lame and unfunny, but that your readers are jelous of your life- that is laughable.
Good one. Took me a minute to remember it’s April Fool’s Day.
Shoot, I was thinking it would be obvious when Molls was writing due to the atrocious grammar!
let’s hope this is an april fool’s thing…
April’s Fool isn’t celebrated in Spain and I totally bought this until I read the comments, haha, I was like, “how are they going to mimic Sasha’s writing? She’s so uniquely talented!” Not saying Sarah and Molls aren’t, just Sasha, you write like nobody else! :)
You got me :( lol
“Uniquely talented”- Mireee maybe you should write Sasha’s personal blog instead! ;)
I’m a token foreigner and I don’t even know whether that’s a compliment or quite the opposite :( But, erm… thanks?
I was just kidding with you because that’s the kind of thing Sasha tends to say when talking about her writers – she always uses words like ‘ uniquely talented’ and ‘extremely talented’. Your English is great for someone who’s not a native speaker (and even for someone who is!) :)
Thank youuu :) All these comments make me feel really warm and fuzzy inside haha
You´re not a native English speaker?? Your English is fantastic!
Haha no, lived in England for a while but nah, Spain born and bred!
Amazing April Fool’s! Too funny.
Hilarious!
That awful new weekly entertainment show is also part of the April’s Fools prank right?
LOL
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized this was a aprils fools joke. Good one sasha
LOL i fail so hard, I knew it was April Fools Day yet still was like wtf are these people finding funny. Thanks for the clarifying it up comment section even though i feel like i am out of the loop! :)
bwahahah! Love ya, Beet. You had me there for a second. I was like, “wtf, why on earth would you let someone else write your personal blog?!?” DUH. DUH. DUH on me. I knew it was the 1st too, and totally got taken for the ride. hahaha!