Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Ooh, Elin’s Gonna Be Pissed!

Just when we thought the shitshow of Tiger Woods' personal life was over, yet another mistress comes forward -- making this his 15th. The woman goes by the name of "Devon James" (James seems to be a popular name in the adult entertainment industry, for some reason) and she's an "entertainer" out of Florida. She allegedly rode Tiger's stallion from 2006 to 2008 and participated in some of Tiger's more, ah, girl-on-girl requests. She also claims that she was the golf guru's first "sext." ...

Ke$ha is Sort of Fug, I Guess. I Mean, I Don’t Really Know. Probably ‘Cause She Looks Like My Great-Aunt Matilda in These Pics, But I Love Aunt Mattie, So I Think I’m Torn.

I'm not what you'd call a Ke$ha fan and it's not just because I have a goddamned hard time typing '$' instead of 's' when I write about her. She's mean to little kids and mentally ill pop stars people and can't go anywhere without trying to rip off Lady Gaga's style. She doesn't even really matter all that much to me, but just kinda irks me by association, I guess. Anyway, Ke$ha is caught frolicking on Bondi Beach in New South Wales looking like she's trying to cover up a nasty Cesare...

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Vice-President of the United States of America Drops the F-Bomb

So, the health care reform was officially signed off upon today and Vice-President Joe Biden was, well, really "fucking" excited about it. In an introduction of President Barack Obama, Biden is found to say -- albeit in a muffled kind of way -- "This is a big fucking deal." I can dig it; old Joe was a bit over-excited and forgot that the mics were live. This kind of stuff happens, even on international television. I personally found it pretty endearing.  Hell, even the President thought it was some funny shit. You can hear him giggle...

Hilary Duff Hides Out at Canadian Airport

Hilary Duff had to wait it out while her fiance, Mike Comrie, was 20 minutes late to scoop her up from the Edmonton International Airport this morning. She tried to hide behind a wall, but she was spotted by some young fans and agreed to post for pictures. Do you think maybe it was that huge-ass rock on her finger that gave her away? Despite his tardiness, Hilary seems thrilled to finally be with Mike once he arrives. These two are a cute couple. If she was a little older and he wasn't a prof...

Are You Willing to Be Educated on Any Topic by Sarah Palin?

I know that when I think about the short list of things I want to learn about and people I want to learn about them from, "Alaska" and "Sarah Palin" are right at the very top. Thankfully, Discovery Communications has decided to pick up Sarah Palin's documentary-style program, imaginatively titled "Sarah Palin's Alaska" (LOL), and it's rumored that Mark Burnett Productions will be earning about $1 million per episode. In terms of first-season cable TV money, that's a pretty serious paycheck. Here's the question though: Who is ...

Miley Cyrus to Be Idol Mentor Tonight on Fox

Tonight, Miley Cyrus is American Idol's latest mentor.  For the contestants, thankfully,  not the children of Idol Gives Back or anything.  ... I jest. Miley is appearing on tonight's Idol airing, 8 PM ET, to help the contestants prepare for life in the spotlight and will lend her musical expertise to the remaining eleven finalists. Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato will perform their tween-saccharine-sweet-gag-me-anthem, "Make A Wave", on the live results show tomorrow at 9 PM ET and Cyrus will be ...

Simon Monjack’s Gone Way Off the Deep End

Radar Online has gotten an exclusive interview with the one person you could probably give a rat's ass less about:  Simon Monjack.  From he get-go, this tool seemed to have a sick obsession with his late wife, Brittany Murphy, and wanted nothing more than to suck her soul, talent -- and money. However, Monjack claims that although he received "six-figure" offers from other media outlets to be allowed inside the house and to grimly view the "death room", he's refused because he claims that ...

Carrie Underwood’s One Classy Lady

And by "classy", I mean she actually cares about people, doesn't have photographs of her labia floating around and isn't throwing jars of rancid urine at her fans. An assistant of Underwood's was killed this past weekend in a crash and at Miss Universe's latest show, she dedicated her song, "Temporary Home" to the victim and his family. There's really nothing negative I can say about this chick surprisingly, which doesn't necessarily make her disinteresting to me -- it just makes her admirable. My condolences go out to the driver's family and hope that they, like Carrie's aptly named tour, can eventually "Play On." /> And by "classy", I mean she actually cares about people, doesn't have photographs of her labia floating around and isn't throwing jars of rancid urine at her fans. An assistant of Underwood's was killed this past weekend in a crash and at Miss Universe's latest show, she dedicated her song, "Temporary Home" to the victim and his family. There's really nothing negative I can say about this chick surprisingly, which doesn't necessarily make her disinteresting to me -- it just makes her admirab...

A Note from Management

We are so totally bummed that the phenomenal Kelly Hays has decided to leave the team here at Evil Beet. I couldn't possibly have been more impressed with her during the year she's worked here. If I tried to write a post about everything that's exceptional about Kelly as a writer, there wouldn't be room for anything else on this site. She is whip-smart and hilarious and a delight to work with. She will be missed terribly, but I know we all look forward to reading whatever next emerges from that spectacular brain of hers. Thank you, Kelly, for giving up your weekends for a year to share your talent with us. The very talented Sarah Spangenberg will be filling in for Kelly's weekend spot in the short term. In the long term, Sarah is going to join the (also very talented) Molls on the weekday writing tip. We're excited to have her writing regularly here on the Beet. What this means? We're going to be hiring a new weekend writer. Hooray! There will be more details about the gig and how to apply later in this week, so stay tuned. (And please don't apply right now. Seriously, don't. Just stay tuned. I'll tell you when to apply, I promise.) />We are so totally bummed that the phenomenal Kelly Hays has decided to leave the team here at Evil Beet. I couldn't possibly have been more impressed with her during the year she's worked here. If I tried to write a post about everything that's exceptional about Kelly as a writer, there wouldn't be room for anything else on this site. She is whip-smart and hilarious and a delight to work with. She will be missed terribly, but I know we all look forward to reading whatever next emerges from that spe...

Josh Duhamel Wants Kids With Fergie But Not Anytime Soon Because He’s Still Enjoying His Sexual Freedoms

You see how Tiger ended up, don't you?  Tcha.  Come on. Duhamel wants to make sure that there're no kids in the picture while he's still porking other women, 'cause that doesn't set a good "family example" naturally. Nah, but really ... Josh Duhamel recently sat down for an interview with People magazine where he was asked the obligatory-just-married question of whether or not he and Fergie are going to pump out a litter of kids in the next few hours or so.  Duhamel stated that he does...

The One in Which I Actually Sort of Feel Bad For Snooki

Evidently, she was kinda responsible for the drunk-driving death of a friend way back in 2004 when she, herself, was a minor.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi had a basement party, which during said party, a friend by the name of MichaelTruncali, drank himself into oblivion and decided to take the old road home. Unfortunately for Michael and his family, he didn't make it home.  The Marlboro High School senior's blood alcohol level was .18 -- more than twice the legal limit in New York -- and had...

Phil Spector Gets a Jailhouse Beatdown

Too bad they didn't waste the freak. According to family friends, Spector "mouthed off" to the wrong inmate and ended up with a busted nose, bruised face and lost a few teeth during the battle of epic proportions. While Spector's current wife -- who could be his granddaughter, incidentally -- claims that he was not, in fact, beaten up in prison, his attorney claims that Spector's always had a mouth on him and it's hardly surprising that he ends up taking one to the kisser, in one way or anothe...

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