Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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I think it's a safe bet to make that Tiger Woods probably won't be discussing golf during his first press conference tomorrow since the shit hit the fan this past Thanksgiving.  [Celebslam] Lady Gaga looks like she's promoting Tim Burton's latest flick, reboot of Alice in Wonderland.  [Popbytes] 10 Most Famous Canadian celebrities ... I'm pleased to say that Rachel McAdams has made the list.  She is the hotness.  [Pajiba] Lindsay Lohan "cracked out" again.  And no, I don't mean she's back with Samantha Ronson.  [Celebitchy] "Don't want no short-short man":  Most common reason for condom failure? Men are buying condoms too large for their wank.  [Zelda Lily] Guess Jersey Shore's J-Woww and Snooki won't be getting matching "GuidoLyf" tattoos anytime soon after this.  [Litely Salted] 16 year-old Ali Lohan is looking more like a washed-up, 40 year-old version of Dita Von Teese these days.  [Allie Is Wired] Kelly Osbourne looks damn-near amazing.  [Amy Grindhouse] />I think it's a safe bet to make that Tiger Woods probably won't be discussing golf during his first press conference tomorrow since the shit hit the fan this past Thanksgiving.  [Celebslam] Lady Gaga looks like she's promoting Tim Burton's latest flick, reboot of Alice in Wonderland.  [Popbytes] 10 Most Famous Canadian celebrities ... I'm pleased to say that Rachel McAdams has made the list.  She is the hotness.  [Pajiba] Lindsay Lohan "cracked out" again.  And no, I don't mean sh...

Bad Girls Club Recap: Santa Barbaric

The episode opens in reverse: The girls return from their Santa Barbara trip and call attention to their plethora of bruises…we the viewers are lost. What caused these bruises? Where is everyone? Who am I? Before we can answer…it starts back at the beginning. Thanks Oxygen for going all Tarantino on us. Flo's gone and Kate returns from the hospital, apparently de-swined. They rip Flo's picture off the wall and rejoice by throwing it in the pool, as Amber says "to metaphorically drown he...

All In a Day’s Work

What did you do yesterday? Probably dropped the kids off at school, worked all day, drove home, made dinner, made sure your brats did their homework and then sometime after Lost, passed out from a long day? Figures. Want to know how Mischa Barton spent the majority of her Tuesday? With her ass parked in a salon chair because she was "going blonde". The girl spent eight hours with her hairstylist yesterday lightening her locks and probably doing what she loves best, staring blankly. There was on...

Quotables

“Was I satisfied? Yeah, well… I mean, I come from a world where I’m not on covers and I’m not in magazines at all. And so I was happy to be in the magazine. At first I thought, ‘Hmm, should I be there? Then I very quickly got over it. I think if I were a part of that shoot I would have felt a little left out anyway. I would have felt a little like… whether or not I should have been there. [It] doesn’t matter, because I wasn’t on it and I’m excited to be mentioned anywhere, ...

If Avril Lavigne is Really Dating Brody Jenner, Than That’s the Saddest Thing I Have Ever Heard

When most chicks become single for the first time in a long time, they go out of their way to try and get a dick upgrade. What's the point of divorcing your loser husband if you're going to go out and date even bigger losers than him, right? Well, Avril don't play that, you guys. In fact, she plays the opposite game and she plays it really hard because now she's rumored to be dating one the biggest douches on the planet, Brody Jenner. A source told E! News about the couple, "They're hooking up,...

Coroner Releases Alexander McQueen’s Cause of Death

A week after beloved fashion designer Alexander McQueen's suicide was announced, we now know how he did it. The British coroner's office responsible for investigating Alexander's death has announced that he hung himself. The coroner also reported that a note was found at the scene, but that the details of the note will not be released. I'm almost afraid to admit that my first thought upon hearing this news was that maybe he got the idea from his ultimate muse, Lady Gaga, who dramatically h...

I Found You a Hot French Babe to Look At

Marion Cotillard is an amazing actress, but perhaps even more importantly, she is a babe. If you saw her Oscar acceptance speech from 2008, you would agree that there's a pretty good chance she's the cutest thing to ever exist on the planet. These artsy shots of her in AnOther Magazine show off a different side to the La Vie En Rose and Nine star. [gallery]...

Don’t Fuck With Kim Basinger

If I wasn't a hardcore member of Team Baldwin, you know I'd be tipping my hat to this crazy bitch for her next-level revenge tactics. Kim Basinger, as it turns out, is relentless. She will stop at nothing to make her ex-husband miserable, including ratting him out to the paparazzi. Digging through Paris Hilton's old bag of tricks, are we? From the Chicago Sun Times: A major New York paparazzo claims he and other shutterbugs were tipped off by Basinger about daughter Ireland calling 911 last ...

Brittany Murphy’s Father Was Denied Access To Her Gravesite

Angelo Bertolotti, Brittany Murphy's father, is making claims that he was kicked out of the Forest Lawn Cemetery recently when he tried to visit his late daughter's grave. According to Angelo, after asking several Forest Lawn employees where Brittany's grave site was, he was sent to the cemetery's main offices where they refused to give him any information about his daughter. Although Angelo had proof with him that he is actually Brittany's dad and not a crazy stalker, he was still denied the inf...

Hello!? More Like Lie!

Well, Prince William is completely, totally not attractive anymore. I think we've all seen this coming for awhile. His thinning hair and crazier-by-the-day teeth have been creeping up for awhile, but now he's gone and really done it. Homeboy's dying his hair. And Hello! is "cheeky" enough to put that mess next to the headline "THE REAL WILLIAM", because apparently we're supposed to either be impressed or find this funny. I am neither, Hello! I am neither. There's nothing cute about a semi-young ma...

They’re Finally Getting Married

Guess what, bitches? Three years and two kids later, Joel Madden and Nicole Richie are finally ready to make it official. Last night at a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman (due to air on Friday), Dave asked his guest Nicole if she and he man had gotten engaged yet. Although we're pretty used to hearing the whole "we don't feel the need to get married" bit out those those two, Nicole threw a curve ball and said, "We actually recently are engaged, yes." I know that these two caught a ...

Marry/Dump/Date: Lily Allen, Lady Gaga and Leona Lewis

The Brit Awards were last night in London and you may notice a common theme between its female attendees: They're all dressed crazy. I thought that this would be a perfect time to play a game of Marry/Dump/Date (you may know it as F**k/Marry/Kill, but we don't need to be that graphic.) It's easy! Just take a look at Lily Allen, Lady Gaga and Leona Lewis in their crazy getups from last night and figure out in your head which one you'd marry, which one you'd dump and which one you'd like to dat...