You guys, I need this so, so, so badly. I need to go to the Jersey Shore and party with the natives. I need to see the gorillas in their natural habitat. I need to do it from the Jersey Shore house. It’s for rent, you guys. It’s for rent.
Here’s the listing:
Parking: 3 Car
City: Seaside Heights
State: NJ
Zip: 08751
Price: $3,500
Beds: 6
Baths: 3
Floors: 2Full Description: Limited Time Only The Jersey Shore house is currently available for rent. This is a once in a life time opportunity to have your Graduation, Sweet Sixteen, Bachelor or Birthday party in one of the hottest properties on the East Coast. Book Now. Availability is limited. Current Rental Rates February 15 – May 1 $3500 single night rental* $2900 per night when you book 2 or more nights* May 1 – July 15 $6500 single night rental* $4500 per night when you book 2 or more nights* Memorial Day and July 4 Weekend $15000 3 night rental Friday – Monday* *All rentals are subject to a minimum damage security deposit of $1000.
I have never been much of a gold-digger, but I’m about to start, because I need a man who will rent this house this summer so my friends and I have somewhere to crash when we’re not out fist-pumping and drink-throwing in the clothes we bought from JWOWW’s upcoming clothing line. (OH YES I WILL OWN CLOTHING FROM THAT LINE. AND I’LL WEAR IT TOO.)
Speaking of JWOWW, I got an email from her publicist yesterday. This was the subject line:
MTV MEGA STAR J-WOWW TO SPEAK TO MEDIA TOMORROW REGARDING SECURITY ISSUES OF HER HOMECOMING CELEBRATION ON LONG ISLAND AFTER ALMOST RIOT
I read it like five times trying to figure out what the hell those words meant juxtaposed in that manner. And that was the part of the e-mail that made the most sense. Jenni, call me. Let’s talk about how to choose the people you work with a little more wisely. I’ll do your press releases for free, dear, if you’ll pay for my Jersey Shore house rental. Deal?
You’d be dead in six hours
Why don’t you just make a lesbian sex tape with Megan McCain and buy it with the proceeds?
That is one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard.
but for it to make money both of them would have to be hot. mc cain, i thinks shes gorgeous. but evilbeet, come on! u fugly beet…
I’m so not fugly.
You’re not fug but that dark hair has got to go. Have you thought about trying red? I think you would be stunning with red hair.
Beet is soooo NOT fugly! That was just plain mean and immature “truth”. Sasha, don’t even let that comment bug you, you are adorable. Web friends included in the summer beach house romp, right??! :D Let me know when the house party starts!
I’m game if Meghan is. :)
And that’s why it’s a great idea…
That place has got to be on some EPA list.
Molls, Sasha. Feed this monster. Get busy. I want my money’s worth.
OH MY GOD I WANT. this is an opportunity beyond all my wildest dreams. i need this. i could bring back skanky guys and do them in the hot tub. this is like, my dream.
beet, if you find some rich guy willing to throw down if you put out, LET ME KNOW. i’m in. (and can we get matching jwoww shirts? and we can share hair gel and tanning lotion/spray/rub stuff? and look our best so we can go pick up juice heads?)
oh hey, also, i’d really like to know what the rest of that email from the publicist of “mega MTV star jwoww” says.
and where was this listing, please? i need to share it with all my friends so we can start saving our money and stockpiling our various skin and hair creams and lotions.
Jersey Shore is over, but the mammaries live on… Check out “Jersey Shore (A Love/Hate Song)” at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNq7LyJ5dAc
Let’s do this. I’m good to throw-in for it! I’ve already practiced my Snooki poof!
Lord guide my bitch slappin’ hand……..