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Because the Spoiled Brat Store Was All Sold Out of Unicorns

January 25, 2010
Molls
Miley Cyrus
56 Comments

Miley Cyrus’ parents bought her another puppy. This time she got a German shepherd called Mate (I wonder if her Australian boyfriend had anything to do with that name) to go along with her maltipoo, Sophie. I thought the Cyrus’ were supposed to be all “down home” and “Christian”, so I’m not sure why they keep buying their daughter (who happens to have an insane work schedule for a 17-year old) designer pooches instead of going to one of the many shelters in the Valley. Actually, I don’t know why they keep getting more pets at all when their youngest daughter is already running around Hollywood dressed like a damn hooker, but whatever! Different strokes, man.

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  • C’mon! Why adopt African, Asian or freaking Martian babies instead of American orphans? Hollywood’s trendy like that. This action by the Cyruses’ doesn’t bother me in the least.

  • Because being “Down Home” and “Christian” means you have to adopt stray dogs?? I think there is a commandment about that. Oh yeah and one that also says “Thou shall quit calling Christians hypocrites when you don’t know the first thing about them”.

  • UR JUST JEALOUSSS!!! U NEED 2 SHUT UP N LET JESUS TAKE THE WHELL OF UR LIFE! UR JUST WISH U HAD HER GOOD LOOKS AND SUCCESS AND HER DOG BCS UR A DOGNAPPER FRUM HELL!!! BITCH!! ONLI GOD CAN JUDGE US WHO BELIEVE IN HIS GOODNESS

    • I am not a big fan of Molls’ opinions; I find it very difficult to relate to her. But, I see nothing wrong with her syntax or grammar in this post. In fact, she is one of the few people who actually know how to handle a possessive noun that ends in “s”. Furthermore, her clauses are correctly set of by commas.

      Hey, I’m not perfect. Maybe I’m just missing the “bad” punctuation. What was her grammar mistake?

      • The plural of Cyrus is Cyruses, not Cyrus’, but I could probably chalk that one up to an error made while switching between the possessive and the plural in rapid fire.
        I, too, don’t get all the Miley Cyrus hate. The kid is 17 years old. Few people seem to doubt that Miley’s a hard worker or wildly successful.
        The notion that her parents are buying ‘spoiled brat’ Miley anything that she hasn’t earned her keep on is nearly ludicrous, like her or dislike her. Miley’s probably earned more money than every person in her family tree, combined.
        Is her Christian duty to suffer? To not enjoy nice things? To live modestly? To save the world, one shelter puppy at a time?
        I don’t get the point of this post: A 17-year-old got a new dog.

      • I already said I wasn’t perfect. I am the worst speller you will ever meet in your life. If it wasn’t for spell check I would be fuuucked. Not being conceited, but I studied Spanish, Russian, and German in college. The more proficient I became with the other languages, the more my English spelling suffered.

        Anywhoo, I noticed the typo immediately after posting and I wondered who would be snarky enough to comment. Thanks, Lissa.

      • The quotations marks are all off; she puts the periods and commas after the quotes when they should come before. Also, she screws up her ITS/IT’S and it drives me nutters.

        /school marm

      • Telly, her use of quotation marks is perfectly acceptable. In America, period marks are generally set inside of the quotation. However, for the rest of the English speaking world (UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia, to name a few), quotations and punctuation are set by logic. That means, depending on usage and sentence logic, the punctuation can come before or after the quotation. She followed the logic to the T. I personally prefer logic based quotations.

        Also, I didn’t see any its/it’s in this post.

        Skeelo, I disagree. Molls was correct in typing Miley Cyrus’ parents. The plural possessive of Cyrus is Cyrus’. The plural of Cyrus is still Cyrus.

      • Incorrect reference, Lisa. I was referencing the “I thought the Cyrus’ were supposed to be all “down home” and…” sentence. Incorrectly possessive, instead of pluralized.
        The plural of Jones is Joneses, Same with Cyrus going to Cyruses. It’s the Cyrus family, but the Cyruses, if one wants to use the plural without the word ‘family’ (or a substitute qualifier — e.g. ‘clan’).
        The plural possessive of Jones is Joneses’. The plural possessive of Cyruses should be Cyruses’, I believe.
        It’s not fully straightforward.
        A more straightforward example is that the plural of Hilton is Hiltons, while the plural possessive of Hilton is Hiltons’.

  • Are you kidding? This thing you have against Miley Cyrus is getting kind of old. Are you jealous of her? Furthermore, it is a rare star that does not thank God during his acceptance speech. And why is it always Christianity? What if she was Muslim? Would you poke fun so freely?

  • i don’t think miley’s a spoiled brat. she probably works harder than any of the writers on this site.

    • Thank you. It’s a fucking joke. I don’t HATE Miley at all, but for the love of Christ, who RELATES to this?

  • The dog gets to see her totally naked but can’t tell on her. Dog scores bonus points without trying. Good dog.

  • What a cute little doggy. Rescue dogs are wonderful, but there ain’t no shame in a purebred! Plus, I’m sure she takes her babies with her when she travels…I know I take my sweet little PUREBRED Cocker Spaniel. She was bred for her intelligence and temperament. That is what a good dog breeder does– they breed the best of the breed’s DNA.

    Jealous much?

      • I said a good breeder. Look it up.

        Good breeders thoroughly research bloodlines to ensure there is no inbreeding. Furthermore, a good breeder is committed to ensuring the pureness of the line and the majority will only sell dogs on a spay/neuter agreement. You must spay/neuter the dog by six months per a signed contract or the dog must be returned. The breeder actually calls your vet to ensure the dog was spayed/neutered.

        So, get off your high-horse and actually try and know what you are talking about.

      • there’s something so NATURAL about a quality, pure-bred dog. Lisa, you know what you should do? just eliminate all the breeds you think are undesirable and make one master-race of dogs. then you could brag to EVERYONE about your beautiful, blonde-haired, blue-eyed cocker spaniel.

      • OMG!!! You are such a super freak! This website is full of such fucking haters.

        Did I not say that rescue dogs are wonderful??? Some of my favorite dogs were rescue dogs. I’ve had dogs my whole life and Daisy is the first dog I bought from a high end breeder, BITCH.

        My only point is that there is NOTHING WRONG in buying a purebred from a good breeder, you dumb bitch.

        Clearly your parents shouldn’t have bred. Your comment is the most ignorant thing I have read in a long while. A blonde-haired, blue eyed cocker spaniel? WTF?

      • Lisa, she said “blonde-haired, blue-eyed cocker spaniel” because she was likening the breeding of purebred dogs with Hitler’s idea of the “pure” Aryan race. I agree that its better to adopt than to buy for many reasons, however, I have two pure-bred cats. Having also owned adopted cats, I can tell you that there are certainly advantages to buying purebred. Many strays have been abused and may have difficult temperaments or other issues that you might not want if you have say a small child. I think we should get all get off our high horses/the purebred backlash and advocate the SPRAYING and NEUTERING of our animals- regardless of where they came from.

      • A lot of purebreds have hip problems, skin problems, and stomach problems. Sometimes mutts are the way to go because they’re hardier.

        Rescue animals, if adopted from the right type of place, are usually screened for behavioral or attitude problems when they’re fostered out before they go up for adoption.

      • Troof, I completely got the whole thinly veiled Hitler thing, I was being sarcastic.

        Without dog breeders we would not have some of our favorite breeds. Breeders purposefully mix two types of dogs to create a new breed. My Cocker Spaniel is a perfect example of a new breed. American Cocker Spaniels are completely different from English Cocker Spaniels through years of breeding. I fail to see anything Hitler-esque about that.

        I agree that many “purebreds” have significant health issues, especially if you buy them from a puppy store. That is why a good breeder is so important. They try to take the best, most desirable qualities of the breed, and pass those qualities on to the puppy litter. Granted, there is no guarantee puppy will be as healthy, smart, obedient, and well tempered as mom and dad, but it usually turns out well.

        This fall I’m getting a new puppy!!! I can’t wait. I am going to call her Pumpkin. I am buying her from one of the best Shih Tzu dog breeders in America. The extra money I am going to pay for Pumpkin will more than pay off (hopefully) through savings in vet bills. Shih Tzus are known to have eye, nose, and ear problems, as well as skin and coat problems. My soon to be breeder has bred many near perfect Shih Tzus. I have actually spoken to her past clients to ensure this lady lives up to her name. She does.

        Okay, go ahead and bash me some more for caring enough about my pets to get the best I can afford to get for them. Bash me for wanting a healthy, loving little Shih Tzu. I don’t know why I even post on this site anymore. Nuttin’ but haters.

  • “I know I take my sweet little PUREBRED Cocker Spaniel.”

    LOL! the fact you had to write “purebred” in caps is so, so sad.

    Stupid bitch.

  • Here’s a middle path: adopt a purebred from a breed rescue. Then you can get the responsibly bred dog with the ideal breed characteristics but you are also making sure you are doing the rescue/adoption thing. Most AKC breeds have breed rescues and often local chapters.

    • if only it were that simple.
      most of the rescue dogs are not well bred and have suffered abuse and have behavioral and temperament issues due to lack of care…hence they needed rescued.

      You would be hard pressed to find an expensively bred purebred dog in a rescue because those people keep their dogs and don’t leave them on chains un-neutered covered with mange, and starving.

      I have been looking for a boxer from various boxer rescue groups in my area and many of the dogs have health problems because the people who owned them did not purchase them from a reputable breeder but probably some backyard breeder who was mating his females to their grown up offspring.

      • Abuse or other issues is a risk with any rescue/adopted animal but just because people spent a lot of money on a purebred puppy doesn’t ensure they take care of the animal for its entire life. Often the desire for a “purebred” without doing breeder research has led to puppy mills/irresponsible breeding and genetic problems. The breed rescue we got our perfect dog from had a dog which was relinquished because it no longer “matched” the owner’s interior decorating. Our dog has no genetic problems, was not abused and has no phobias. He was given up because the owner’s previous dog (a pitbull) was attacking him. Certainly some animals arrive in the shelter or rescue in terrible condition and have special needs but not all do, many give you the best of both worlds and I’m continuously amazed how abused and neglected animals will trust people again. Take your time at the rescue and find the right dog for your lifestyle.

  • It’s ridiculously cute…. and Mate is actually a pretty good name.. just saying.

    It’s just too bad that no one CAN buy a unicorn. I’d be all over that.

    • Does the H stand for hopeless, hapless or horse shit? Just throwing a few out there. I like capping CAN, really drives it home.

      • i know i’ll get some snarky stupid ass reply from you.

        even still i just want to say for all of us that ignore your desperate middle school need for attention (you little narcissist you.) :

        you are fucking annoying.

  • Two questions:
    Why in the world would you name your dog MATE? Poor guy.
    And is her purse, or whatever that damn thing is, like felt or maybe moss?