Anyone else think this late night shuffle over at NBC is a bunch of bullshit? I was so pumped when they moved Conan from the later spot and Leno stepped down and went to an earlier time slot. It was like the perfect line up. Everyone who likes Jay Leno is asleep by the time Conan comes on, and then us adults can sit around and laugh at the Masturbating Bear.
Well, as we all know by now, that plan didn’t really work out and now Jay Leno’s show is going to be bumped up an extra half hour. Now NBC has told Conan that he has to choose: start his show at 12:05 (which wouldn’t make it “The Tonight Show”, now would it?) or, ya know, get lost. Conan chose the unknown third option: Kill time by making fun of the network and figure out what to do later.
If anyone has had a chance to catch Conan’s last couple monologues, you’ve really been treating yourselves. Both last night and last Friday have been exceptionally hilarious, as it always is when a host turns on a group that they are supposed to support/used to support (remember all those awesome jokes during the Writer’s Strike a couple years ago? Late Night Writer’s Strike jokes are my favorite still.) If you missed the monologue, I got a transcription of the best jokes for yo’ ass. I just wish I could come to all of your offices and read ’em for you in my Conan voice:
As I mentioned, NBC is shaking up its late night lineup yet again. They want to move Jay Leno back to 11:35. And there are a lot of rumors about what I’m going to do.
I’ve got a lot of options. I thought I’d share some of them with you right now..
I could…
- Host the Tonight Show at 12:05
- Star in a Lifetime original movie about a woman trapped in an abusive relationship with her network.
- Go to ABC and star in a male redhead version of ‘Cougartown’ called ‘Redwolf Village’.
- Host a show on B.E.T. called ‘White All Night’.
- Move to FOX and follow their hit “24” with a new show called “24:05.”
- Televise my own colonoscopy on the Bravo Channel in a show called ‘Project Funway’.
- Convince NBC to let me keep this time slot if I can gain 10 pounds of chin.
- Andy and I will become a team of wacky morning DJ’s called ‘Big Red And The Booger’.
- Pretend to put my son in a giant foil balloon, then sit back and watch the offers come pouring in!
- Perform the show live every night from Zanies Comedy Club at 7:30 and 9:30. (1/2 price drinks if you tell ’em “Coco” sent ya!)
- Bring sanity back to NBC by hiring Gary Busey as head of programming.
- Leave television altogether and work in a classier business with better people, like hard core porn.
I know that Conan’s not always the popular choice (when you’re up against Letterman, how are you supposed to win? He’s like America’s dad with less fidelity issues), but I feel like I’ve grown up watching his work and it would completely suck to see him go out like that. Any other Conan lovers out there?
Conan is the best!
I couldn’t agree more! The 10p.m. slot was great because my grandparents could watch Leno and when I got home from work I could watch Conan. I was so excited that he was getting The Tonight Show. We even included seeing Conan tape live as part of our honeymoon! It really seems like NBC is screwing Conan and they deserve to lose him to FOX. As long as he’s still around somewhere, I’ll be happy. I just don’t like to see my favorite ginger get the short end of the stick.
I’m not a huge Conan fan; I don’t hate him, but I won’t go out of my way to watch him.
As a fairly impartial judge, I have to point out that NBC isn’t screwing Conan over. If he was pulling in viewers, you can bet your ass he’d be keeping the time slot. He isn’t getting the ratings, so they’re moving the show. That’s just a good business move. Why throw money at a sinking ship?
7 months on a show that had another established host can make it difficult to rake in numbers right away. Also, NBC took popular shows OFF the network (that are doing well on other networks now) to put Jay in prime time. Jay’s show wasn’t doing very well either, and people were tuning out. If you’re on after a stinker..who will stick around to watch him?
NBC made a mistake changing anything at all.
I have loved Conan for years. I would jump that tall strawberry vanilla milkshake’s bones in a heartbeat.
I feel like NBC execs just like shooting themselves in the foot repeatedly.
I liked him better when he was the “Barbarian.”
Conan is by far my favorite. Leno isn’t funny. Letterman is for the older generation, Daly is the ultimate TOOL, Kimmel is alright and Ferguson is second.
Conan Statement: http://www.tmz.com/2010/01/12/conan-i-want-to-work-for-nbc/#continuedcontents
Well said and well intended. Ball’s in NBC’s court.
I with Bill Simmons, Conan should just have the Masturbating Bear as his guest for the whole hour every night until NBC fires him!
Also, it would be my dream if he got picked up by Comedy Central and they gave him his own 1hr show that followed Stewart and Colbert. Imagine the magic that could happen at ComCen? Wouldn’t that be the greatest 2hrs of television ever?!
He may go to Fox but I don’t think things would be much better for him since thy would still try and tone Conan down for the older crowd, and when you do that he is far from his best.
OH MY GOODNESS. that is the best idea i have ever heard.
if only you were in charge.. make that happen…
Right? Best. Idea. Ever.
Make it happen Comedy Central! Start a “Bring Conan to ComCen Fund” and I am sure you would get a bazillion hits on your PayPal button within the hour.
I love Conan.
He went to my High School. He came back a few times to do some shows and also came to 2006 graduation.
Great guy!
sorry about the double post!
I love Conan.
He went to my High School. He came back a few times to do some shows and also came to 2006 graduation.
Great guy!
Jay screwed up by changing the format of his show when he moved to prime time. If he had done the same show, I really feel his ratings would have been good. I tried to watch it but it was painfully bad. I Tivo Conan and Jimmy. I used to Tivo Jay but stopped when he butchered his ‘interview’ with Pee Wee Herman. How, I ask, How can you screw up an interview with Pee Wee Herman!!!!!!!!!!!
I think Conan should keep his show at whatever time it is on and wait for Jay’s new late night show to bomb because it will bomb. People really won’t watch after all this shit.
His name should be “Conan O’notfunny” cause he sucks. If I ever saw him, I would make him eat my shit, then eat his own shit which is made up of my shit.
Whoa. Maybe you should take his place because you’re clearly the funniest person to have ever used the word ‘shit’ before.
Hey can we start using “stool” or “BM” instead of the “s” word. I’m trying to bring a little class to this place.
wow, dizzle, your sense of humor makes me understand why you like leno. you’re just so brilliant and well spoken.
jay leno is a backstabbing prick. the only thing bigger than his jaw is his ego. he is behind this whole mess.. directing every move the network makes.. he has them in his back pocket and he’s throwing conan under the bus..
Switched from Dave to the The Tonight Show when Conan started hosting. Will switch back to Dave if Conan leaves. If I wanted to hear Leno-like schtick, I’d call my grandfather every night at 11:35.
I LOVE CONAN! I want to marry him and have all of his red-headed babies. even though i’m black, i’ve always wanted a red-headed black child.
conan’s self-deprecating humor is the best there is. his comedy is goofy, smart, and not mean-spirited at all. he’s a class-act. and NBC needs to stop fucking him over. he deserves better. honestly i wish he had never moved from nyc. i want him to go back there and do late-night again if this is how nbc is going to treat him. i miss the nyc audience and flavor. and it was always a dream of mine to see him in nyc. sigh… i love conan. and gingers. =)