I don’t go to church every Sunday and I don’t own rosary beads. I don’t observe religious holidays and I inwardly groan when I get a wedding invite and realize that it means I’ll have to sit through an entire mass. How.Ev.Er. I believe that God exists and he does answer prayers. Today, I have proof.
Today, Oprah is expected to announce that she’s ending her show. After 25 interminably fucking long years, it will finally be over in 2011. This has been like suffering through the world’s longest colonoscopy.
I was rejoicing about this good news on Facebook when a few people tried to take the shine off my elation by pointing out that O will just be moving her show to her long-awaited — and I’d like to personally meet the people who are waiting for this — Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). Yeah, I don’t care about that. As long as I keep out of the high 200’s when I’m channel surfing, I should be okay in avoiding her.
Can you even imagine what this new OWN is going to be like? If you suffer from depression, low self-esteem, have suicidal tendencies or are just having a bad day, STAY AWAY FROM OPRAH’S NEW NETWORK! Because Oprah is awesome. And almighty. And living her highest and most purposeful life. We simple commoners cannot possibly understand such complex concepts that are discussed on O as evidenced by Oprah constantly taking the words of her guests, chewing them up and serving them pureed style to her apparently idiotic audience (“Do you get that, people? What she’s saying is that her husband cheated on her, but she’s choosing to move on.”)
Personally, I’m glad that O is waddling off into the sunset. I hope she finds tons, and I do mean tons, of success at her new network. Anything to keep her off the main stations where I could accidentally come in contact with her when I’m desperately searching for Full House reruns.
Wow, her show has been on five years longer than I have been alive. And I haven’t watched even one episode. Buh-bye, big O.
My thoughts exactly. Who allowed this to happen for 25 years???
hurry, wendie, it’s atheists! ;)
Praise God!
Thank you Lord Jesus!
OMG, You have to really be miserable to not like Oprah!
Misery must love company because I know a LOT of people who can’t stand her. I squealed with delight when I heard the news this morning. Literally squealed.
Ditto. Praise the heavens. Get her the hell off regular cable so I never have to see her stupid pretentious face ever again.
I think Oprah missed the boat… She has fallen out of favour recently but for a while there, she could’ve been President. At least Vice President.. ;)
Wendie sucks entire football teams.
i was very happy , she is the biggest liar , she forgot to say : oh and by the way i’m lesbian!
she is not very grateful on thanking ppl who really helped her.
This is really the only story today so far? Hm.
This is unrelated but I was once on a flight from Chicago to Columbus with her (old/current/neither) boyfriend Stedmond. He was in first and I was in the first row of coach so I definitely got a good view of him taking off his shoes AND socks.
That d-bag took off his socks on a 50 minute flight! I have never been a fan of hers but after that…not a chance in hell.
Also, is it just me having trouble posting my name/mail? -nora
Sometimes the Name and Email box won’t show up for me but I usually just refresh the page a few times and it comes back.
Her show has been on since I was 8? Seriously? JFC. I have never watched an episode and I’ve never been on her bandwagon. I respect what’s she’s accomplished, but I’m not a fan.
Wendie, you really need to show Oprah some respect and learn to love her. She will change your life. You really need to see the light, it will make you less bitter.
Oh yes, that woman is so horrible! I mean, we really don’t need anybody to shed light on social issues around the world, somebody to build schools in poor parts of the world, who tries to help, who doesn’t accept free clothes from designers, … So annoying!
Now that her slot it going to be free in 2011, maybe TMZ can snap it up! Yay, more crotch shots of Paris Hilton!!!
YEAH!!!!
We have another woman lined up to replace her: Anderson Cooper.
I wouldn’t break out the champagne too soon… Tyra is still on the air
I’d rather watch 30 episodes of Oprah than one of Tyra’s.
Ha ha, I love your title for this post, Wendie. I would say one of your best!
I’m delighted to see the end of any show that gives Jenny McCarthy and Suzanne Somers air time. Crackpots, all.
However… you’ve felt like this “is like suffering through the world’s longest colonoscopy”? I don’t get it. Has someone been forcing you to watch this stupid show? You poor thing!
Oprah really rubs your little hot spot the wrong way, doesn’t she?
Haha ZOMG, exactly ;)
You don’t have a right to hate on Oprah when you are a loser that writes for a stupid blog which no ones comes to.
Her show will go down as one of the greatest in history!
and you will die poor and a nobody,
no one will remember you
This is a democracy…everyone has a right to their opinion! If you don’t like Wendie’s opinion don’t read her blog! Just that simple! You have no right to launch a personal attack because she is expressing her tastes / opinions on HER blog … just don’t read her blogs!
My opinion is Oprah has done some really incredible things for her viewers and the general public (although I do disagree with her assertion she was Obama’s instrument in his getting elected). If she now wants to move on to new challenges I celebrate her decision to do so. I’m sure she struggled with leaving such a high power position on t.v.
If no one comes to this stupid blog, who’s leaving all the hate comments?
Gremlins. :)
you can’t even spell atheists, stupid
go back to school and ger an education
MAYBE
you can come back and gt yourself a real career
atheists.
i’m an atheist. at least i can spell. jerk.
If only Tyra Banks would waddle off with her. So sick of her sanctimonious bullshit.