Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sit Down Before You Read Any Further. There May Be a Dave Letterman Sex Tape

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I’m really praying this isn’t true.  My true hope is that the reporters over at the Enquirer sat around a table and said “Hey, wouldn’t it be something if Dave Letterman was caught on a security camera having sex with one of his employees?  That sounds like a good story.  Let’s run with it!”  Actually, let’s assume that is exactly what happened.  Here’s what they came up with:

A studio surveillance tape reportedly caught the 62-year-old star and a much-younger female co-worker in a compromising position – and it could shatter Letterman’s already troubled marriage, say sources.

What’s more, the tape could persuade worried CBS execs to hammer the final nail into the talk-show host’s late-night career – and could play a key role in the trial of the producer who allegedly tried to blackmail him.

“If the tape makes its way into the criminal case, it’ll explode his marriage to smithereens,” revealed a close source.

“It’s one thing for him to have publicly admitted to having had sexual relations with some women on his staff. It’s another to see him in the throes of passion with one of those women.

“Dave apparently didn’t know the location of the security cameras at his Late Show studio.”

I report celebrity gossip for a living.  I’ve been exposed to a lot of trauma-inducing images — things that no human should ever have to see.  I’ve witnessed everything from a Julia Roberts nip slip to Samantha Ronson in a dress.  However, there is no therapy, no prescription, no anything that can prepare me for or help me recover from a Dave Letterman sex tape.  It would be life-changing in the really bad, rocking back and forth in the corner kind of way.

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