Plugging Shit My Friends Do: SmellBent.com

I went to high school with a guy named Brent. He is one of the funniest and smartest (and gayest!) peeps I’ve ever had the opportunity to get to know. (Although, in fairness — and because some of them are reading this — my high-school was pretty packed with smart, funny, talented gay men. We had an excess. And I love you all, darlings, for your Spice Girls tattoos and for your creme brulees and for always volunteering to get high with me, but mostly I love you for your wit and your charm and because you’ve all been fantastic friends through the years.)

Brent used to write poetry. Actually, it wasn’t poetry; it was a mockery of poetry. Specifically mine, I think. But he’d do the most dead-on impressions of teenage angst poetry, and I’d nearly pee myself reading them. One of the poems ended with the line “i wrote this poem in algebra” and I think I just lost it at that point. Oh and I’m pretty sure Brent and I both spent high school — and a good deal past — pining for the same guy, who was straight, maybe bi, and in the end I think Brent got farther with him than I did. Goddamn it, I haven’t thought about this in awhile, but I just realized I have to track this guy down and sleep with him so Brent doesn’t win. If you went to high school with us and you know who I’m talking about, does anyone have his contact info?

Last Brent story: He saw my breasts once (I believe, to be fair, I was trading him a peep for a cigarette because I was really classy in those days), and he was like, “Wow, you have beautiful breasts,” and then I was at his family’s house a few days later and they were all like, “Brent tells us you have stunning breasts.” When I reminded him of that story years later, he was like, “Oh, man, I’m so sorry about that, I feel awful,” and I was like, “Dude it was one of the greatest moments of my life.” And it was. My breasts finally got the public recognition they deserved — from a gay man! There is no greater triumph in this life.

We went our separate ways after high school, then we both found ourselves living in Los Angeles — Brent working in the fashion world and I on the gossip front — where I had the rare opportunity to do dinner with him and his friends, and to be reminded of what a quick-thinking, creative, articulate and hilarious person he is. He really has a unique brand of humor, and the whole point of this post is to tell you guys about what I think it probably the damn funniest perfume company website I’ve ever seen: SmellBent.com. But DAMN do those scents look amazing!

Smell Bent, Brent’s current project, is an LA-based niche perfume boutique which focuses on creative and fun fragrances. They launch today. They have scents like “Hungry Hungry Hippies,” which is described as “freshly baked pot brownies dusted with cassia over an earthy dose of finely aged patchouli. not bad for someone who hates to wear shoes.” There’s also “Incensed,” which is “omani frankincense and kenyan myrrh smoldering atop a pile of vanilla soaked woods. a truly religious experience!” And don’t forget about “Commando,” “a motley crew of animal musks rounded out with a base of tonka bean absolute. as close as it gets to wearing nothing at all.”

IT ALL SOUNDS SO YUMMY!!! Seriously I want ALL these scents, just to smell ’em, and I can’t wait to see what else he comes up with for this line. If you don’t happen to need perfume right now yourself, remember that it makes a perfect gift! The bottles go for $20, but you can also get a bunch of samplers for $3.75 each or $15 for 5. PLUS to celebrate the launch, they’re offering free shipping throughout September.

Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!