This morning, I’d like to introduce you to Kelly Sott. She’s not a household name and she’s not exactly a celebrity. But she sleeps with celebuspawn Cameron Douglas. Kelly Sott might also be the dumbest woman in America.
As you may remember, Cameron was just busted for being involved in a country-wide pastry and bath salts meth ring. Really, not shocking considering his long history of substance-related arrests. What does surprise me is the fact that he somehow wrangled a house arrest; he’s been staying at the New York City home of his step-mother, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Sigh … money buys the best justice.
Now, thanks to his fastidious oral hygeine, his ankle-bracelet-monitored-vacation may be coming to an end. Because even though you’re on house arrest, you can safely assume you are being watched closely, especially when the DEA is involved. Cameron got in touch with his girlfriend and was really insistent on her bringing his electric toothbrush over to chez Zeta-Jones. It’s a conversation that I imagine went something like, “When are you bringing me my toothbrush? I really need it, like, now. My gum health is suffering. You’re two blocks away? Can you hurry up? I really can’t wait for my toothbrush any longer.” Sure enough, an electric toothbrush is always an appealing option where there are 19 glassine tubes of heroin stashed in the battery compartment.
So “Kelly Stupid Sott” got busted smuggling heroin to her boyfriend. She’ll claim that she had no idea there was heroin in the toothbrush — because it’s no red flag when your trial-pending, junkie beau is fixated on the immediate delivery of a toothbrush that has a hollow compartment in it — and he’ll throw her under the bus to keep himself out of jail.
Ain’t love grand?
Stupid Girl… What the hell is that on her neck?
A shadow from Michael’s head?
I hope Beets ( @ Y @ )s are this big! Mm, mmm!
This was all a simple misunderstanding. He asked for the Meth toothbrush and she brought the heroin toothbrush, accidentally.
Or, alternately, he asked for the heroine toothbrush (aka the Lara Croft Ltd.) and she mistakenly brought him the heroin-filled toothbrush. A game of telephone gone awry.
Either way, the dead giveaway for the feds was when he asked her to weigh the new batteries in grams and to only purchase the batteries from “Spider” in the West Village.
I think she has a reasonable “ignorance” defense.
Hope C.D. doesn’t share his dad’s sex addiction thing, cause that won’t work out so well for him in prison.
Bwahahahahahahaha! That was hella funny, skeelo.
Wow, this chick is so stacked. Think she’ been coming over for a few congigal visits?
I’m not sure if his girlfriend has been coming over for “congigal” visits. Only 2 out of 8 letters off. But she may be coming over for conjugal visits, emphasis on “con”.
I’d love her to “Jiggle visit” me too!
What an IDIOT!
I can’t believe she did that. Now she is always going to be known as the chick who made the worst mistake ever. Have fun in jail Kelly!
Is it just me or does he look a lot like Chris O’Donnell? It took me a while, but I knew he looked familiar from somewhere or looked very similiar to a celebrity.
My cousin.
I went to school with this dumb bitch.. She was such a great athlete and smart. Wonder what the fuck happened and if she is as fucked up on drugs as he is. SHe must have had a boob job because they werent that big in high school!
not surprised. used to know this girl and well, always trying to find herself and um, those boobs are fake. who’s arent these days. bruise. yeah, sure looks like one. poor thing, she’s not a bad person, just not so bright.
not surprised. she was never the smartest thing. yeah, boobs r fake. never that big. she was a lost soul
HA!!!! LMFAO!!! I graduated high school with this stupid cuntess… and well, I wish I knew what prison she was in cuz I’d go visit her. Who’s the loser now you stupid valley girl!!