If you’re anything like me, you wake up every morning lately, scan the news headlines, and ask yourself, “Why isn’t Paris Hilton’s name anywhere on here?” Paris has been laying conspicuously low these days, and now perhaps we know why: She’s reconciled with Douche Reinhardt, and she’s probably a little embarrassed about it. I mean, there were practically parades in the streets when they split — everyone hates that guy — but apparently Paris has had trouble finding another Z-lister to worship at her feet.
“They are definitely happy again,” a source tells Us Weekly.
On Monday, The Douche posted on Twitter: “What an amazing weekend with my beautiful girlfriend. I love her so much!” The day before that, he wrote: “Laying in bed watching SportsCenter with my girl.”
Oh, Paris. You’re just gonna break the poor guy’s heart again. And, frankly, you’re breaking mine — do we really need this guy in the spotlight again? JON GOSSELIN IS SINGLE. Please, Paris. I’ve never asked you for anything before. I’ve watched you find some way to insert yourself into the media topic du jour for years and years. And yet all I want in the whole world is for you to get involved with the Jon Gosselin story, and instead you head back to Douche, when you could be front-page headlines for weeks if you’d just spend one night hanging on Jon Gosselin. Stop acting so damn grown-up, Paris. It’s not like you.
Now I need Paris to hook up with Jon too. I’d never even thought of it. What’s wrong with me?
Because these two douchetards got back together, the universe will collapse upon itself. See that black hole on the horizon, sucking up everything in its path? That’s a black hol–
Oops. False alarm. That’s just Paris’ vagina looks like when she spreads wide for a touchdown. You can almost see the herpes scars from here..
So funny – I really laughed out loud.
OMG – cutest kitty evar!
Epic. post.
I think they deserve each other.
I bet you she got some advice from her sister Nikki, who seems to know a thing or two about keeping a relationshipo going. Good for her, maybe she will start maturing more now (finally).