Where’s Kelly When I Need Her? Sports News … Ugh.

It’s kind of a slow news day.  Well, it’s a slow news day if you’re sick and tired of talking about anything related to Jon Gosselin or Michael Jackson.  And I am.  However, there is a ton of stuff going on in the sports world, so I’m going to do my best to tell you about it.

The UFC league’s — and today I learned that is an acronym for Ultimate Fighting Champion — Kimo Leopoldo has died at the age of 41.  Initial reports are indicating that he had a heart attack, but he also had a long history of drug and steroid use which culminated in an arrest in February in which Leopoldo was wearing a police jumpsuit and playing with a yo-yo.

An employee from Lake Tahoe’s Harrah’s casino has filed suit against Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.  I’d like to interject that I did not have to Google Ben’s Wikipedia page to figure out what team he plays for.  I live in Massachusetts — a state dedicated to hating all things Steelers.

The accuser, Andrea McNulty, stated that Ben told her that the television wasn’t working in his room.  When she went to his room to check it, she claims she was sexually assaulted and imprisoned by Roethlisberger.

As an aside, a coworker shared that McNulty was already seeking counseling at the time of the alleged attack, due to a break up with someone who never existed.

Sources connected with the case tell us a former co-worker of McNulty’s at Harrah’s came forward with this incredible story — that around the time McNulty hooked up with Roethlisberger, she was allegedly involved with a married man. The man’s wife, we’re told, created an email account, posing as a U.S. soldier in Iraq. The wife began corresponding with McNulty to gain information. We’re told the former co-worker has said McNulty fell in love with the fictitious soldier and began telling people she was engaged to him. When the wife stopped the correspondence, McNulty then began telling people the soldier was killed in action.

Erin Andrews (seen in picture above), the 31-year-old ESPN commentator that is probably best known for getting hit in the jaw last month by a wayward baseball at a Mets game, is more angry about a video that surfaced last week.  The footage shows Andrews naked in a hotel room and obviously unaware of the presence of a video camera.  Expect to hear more about civil and criminal action on that case.

Whew …we need some happy news:  Barry Bonds’ wife withdrew her petition for a legal separation that was filed just last month.  It looks like she’s getting marital counseling from Sean Penn and Robin Wright-Penn.

And finally, Marc Anthony now has a stake of the Miami Dolphins — another team that I detest.  No word on the dollar value of his share purchased, but we’ll get the dts on that when divorce proceedings commence between him and J. Lo.

This concludes my first and hopefully last edition of sports news here on Evil Beet.