Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mel Gibson Puts His Hand Up A Beaver For New Role

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Mel Gibson has signed on to accept the leading role in Jodie Foster’s latest directorial effort (she’ll also play the wife of Mel’s character), The Beaver.  The movie centers on Mel’s character, a depressed man, and how he finds levity by wearing a beaver puppet named Sugar Tits.  Okay, I’m lying about the Sugar Tits part, but the rest is the truth. 

Do you feel like you’re being Punk’d right now?  Because you aren’t.  Are you checking your calendar to see if it’s April 1st?  It isn’t.  This is an honest to goodness true news item.  And I didn’t even read about it in Star.  I read about it in Variety … a respected industry trade mag.  Frighteningly enough, that means this movie is probably happening as soon as they secure financing.  And I’d like the investor who decides to throw their $18M at this project to reveal themselves.  I wouldn’t throw my $10.50 at a movie ticket to see this thing. 

As an aside, to all my fellow Golden Girlsfans:  Do you remember the GG episode when Stan was in therapy, trying to get over the end of his marriage to Dorothy?  To help alleviate his depression, his therapist makes him go everywhere with a traffic cone dressed up like a monkey.  That episode is called “The Monkey Show.”  Skip this movie and rent that off Netflix instead.

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