Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, The Jokes Just Write Themselves, Don’t They?

57624205sharonstone68200914444pm-1 Sharon Stone was one of many celebs on hand yesterday for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric Aids 20th Annual A Time For Heroes Carnival.  Look in the gallery for another picture of Stone -- what has happened to her?  She looks positively anorexic. Those Hillschicks were there too:  Lauren Conrad, Kristin Cavallari and Stephanie Pratt as well as other people no one cares about, like Shanae Grimes, Melissa Joan Hartless and Billy Baldwin. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz appeared with ba...

Lindsay Lohan Feels Caged, Rolls Self In Ball

Lindsay Lohan I'm really shocked, because I thought Lindsay had been sober since going to Promises back in 2007 -- that's sarcasm, folks -- but I guess I was wrong.  Some dude who writes for Mirror, tells the tale of a caged Lindsay, texting Samantha Ronson, drinking vodka and generally freaking out at a nightclub. I’m used to celebrities getting wasted, making fools of themselves and larking around. But what I witnessed at London’s Cuckoo nightclub this week was beyond anything I’ve ever seen be...

This Really Could’ve Been Prevented

I don't know what's more shocking:  the video of Bret Michaels getting leveled by a piece of stage equipment at the Tony Awards, or the fact that Bret Michaels and his Poison bandmates were invited to perform at the Tony Awards.  Both scenarios are pretty astounding. Michaels was injured but didn't break his nose as was originally reported.  Personally, I think it was God's way of trying to get his attention.  When you get taken down by a metal curtain, that's just His way of saying, "...

Heather Graham Takes Humanitarianism To New Heights

57587904heathergraham68200981821am-1 Heather Graham makes me feel so inferior.  I consider it a successful day when I get a shower, but The Hangover actress Heather Graham has loftier -- literally -- goals.  So, while I continue to work on mastering my daily scrub, Graham is working on levitation and learning to fly.  As she explained in a Daily Mail interview, she needs to learn flying so she can travel across cities and oceans and save people from bad fortune. So far I've only succeeded in my dreams. I practice transcendenta...

Kristen Stewart is Smokin’

FP_IMAGE_3114108/FP_SET_3112790 While perusing photo sites today, I stumbled upon a set labeled "Kristen Stewart is a Smoker!" that contained several exclamation points and the above photos with nifty little red circles indicating the irrefutable evidence that Kristen Stewart is in fact one of the most horrible human beings ever to walk the planet. Forget about her terrible acting or the fact that she's so stoned out of her mind at award shows it's a miracle she hasn't swallowed her own tongue yet. The bitch smokes! I'm going to ...

South Dakota Cowboy Wins $232 Million Dollar Lottery

It can be hard being a cold-hearted bitch, so sometimes I like to write about things that make me feel good. Like when one of the biggest Powerball jackpots in U.S. history is won by someone who appears to have really needed it-- a cowboy from one of the poorest areas of the country who has been struggling to help his family make ends meet. 23 year old Neal Wanless has been helping his ranching family pay the bills by reselling scrap metal. No stranger to hard times, the Wanless Family's trail...

Gosselins’ Separate Vacations A Sign of Things to Come?

Kate Gosselin This week Kate Gosselin and the sextuplets vacationed in Wilmington, North Carolina, swimming and playing on the beach under the watchfull eye of body guard and alleged side piece Steve Neild. Meanwhile, Jon and the two older girls hung out 500 miles away, back home in Reading, PA. The trio rode ATVs, ate dinner, and went to see the Pixar flick Up. These separate vacations may be a good indication of things to come as the Gosselin family adjusts to family life in a household with separated...

Chris Pine and Audrina Patridge Split

Audrina Patridge and Chris Pine Dating Pictures Photos This will make a lot of people happy-- a few editors on this site in particular: James T. Kirk and The Artist Formerly Known as Ol' Dead Eye are history. A source is quoted as saying "Chris Pine was forced to dump Audrina because his camp wants him to take the right strategic steps to become a big movie star. Dating a reality show star would tarnish his image." The couple had only been together for a few weeks and probably weren't all that serious, but Pine's people reportedly became concerned because the "media" was so interested in the p...

Video Power Aint Got Nothin’ on Conan O’Brien

[caption id="attachment_37667" align="aligncenter" width="345" caption="Via Seriouslunch.com"]Via Seriouslunch.com[caption id="attachment_37667" align="aligncenter" width="345" caption="Via Seriouslunch.com"][/caption] You may have seen the above image from seriouslunch.com that has been making the rounds, showing how a backdrop on the new Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien set looks suspiciously like something out of the Mushroom Kingdom. On Friday's show, Conan responded to the spoof. Nintendo America President Reggie Fils-Aime has said he thinks it's "great" and that they are "thrilled to have him as...

Lindsay Lohan Responds to Dr. Drew

Lohan in London Earlier in the week, Dr. Drew Pinsky-- who has become famous by failing to "treat" every single strung out celebrity that's ever been under his reality TV "care"-- spouted off about Lindsay Lohan in an interview with Parade Magazine, saying that he thought it might take losing a limb to scare Lindsay into honest to god rehabilitation. Well, Linds wasn't going to take that one lying down, which is weird because she takes most things lying down-- pills, alcohol, men and women. Lindsay respo...

Whitney’s Back, But Don’t Talk Smack. Or Crack.

Whitney Houston Presents an Award at the 2009 Grammy Awards in February Thanks to reality TV, the last thing I remember learning about Whitney Houston is that when she's constipated, then husband Bobby Brown would massage her Houston-hole until their marriage-- oh, excuse me, I meant to say, compacted, hardened, constipated shit-- broke up. Then she ran off to Africa and began looking for the lost tribe of Israel, to which she was convinced she belonged. The lost tribe of Israel didn't do their job, because after a 7 year absence from the recording studio (and...

Gilbert Gottfried is Still Reproducing

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried (if you have absolutely no clue who he is, you might know him as the parrot, Iago, in Disney's Alladin) and wife Dara welcomed a new baby boy to the family on Monday, May 18th. The couple announced the birth over the weekend. Little Max Aaron Gottfried is the second child in the Gottfried clan. He joins big sis Lily Aster who will turn 2 next week. Hooray for normal names! The baby weighed in at a healthy 7 lbs. 14 oz. and is said to be annoying the crap out of...
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