Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hef Can’t Tell His Sluts Apart

57683241hughhefner616200954924pm Hugh Hefner is old and starting to sound really old.  He admitted at a recent Playmate of the Year part that was held at the manse, that he can't keep his twins straight. Karissa and Kristina Shannon are identical twins, save one little mark on one of their necks.  Heck, he couldn't even see the departure of the original three girls next door, how is he expected to notice something as small as a beauty mark? Hef also talked about who he would want to portray him in a movie -- Robert Downey Jr. -- and ...

Quotables

57113967denisleary616200952347pm "I think she's a hobbit. The no expectations aspect was fantastic. I kind of wanted her to be the person who not only could sing, but was gonna tell everyone to fuck off and would become the new sex symbol. I hope she comes back fucking crazy like Judy Garland on acid. I'd like to feed her a lot of booze and pills and just let her sing beautiful songs and threaten people from the stage." Denis Leary, the numnut who thinks autism is a joke, in a TV Squad interview sharing his opinion of Su...

Muh Baby Fell In Some Horse Poo!

90616p1_spears_b-gr_03evilbeetgossip-1 Britney is so well-intended.  While in London she started out by taking her sons for a walk but then got one of them stuck in a pile of horse excrement.  Pushing strollers is such hard work.  The good news?  She had her hired help with her to assist with the physical labor. Other pics in the gallery show Brit on the same day, wearing a different shirt, as well as her son's impressive tongue rolling skills. [gallery]...

Bad News. I’m Starting To Think Like Jennifer Love Hewitt

90615w4_hewitt_b-gr_01evilbeetgossip-1 Nope, that's not Rachael Ray and that's not Tatum O'Neal.  That's JLH -- doesn't she look really old all of a sudden?  Bad lighting and unfortunate Miss Clairol color choice, I guess. Anyway, Jennifer Love Hewitt is mirroring the exact same sentiment that I just wrote about a couple of weeks on my own blog.  She was quoted as saying, “It’s just gross. It’s really weird — I can eat chicken if I take if off the bone, but I can’t eat a chicken leg and have my teeth touch the bone. It ...

Of Course The Rihanna Sex Tape Is Being Released On Chris Brown’s Court Date

There's been a rumor floating around for a while -- ironically, started shortly after the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna abuse deal -- that there is a Rihanna sex tape that would eventually hit the Internet. A very short trailer is on YouTube with a promise of more footage to be released on June 22nd.  June 22nd happens to be the same day that Rihanna will be appearing in court, prepared to testify against her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, also known as the guy that I'm sure isn't involved in any way in the release of this tape.  Oh, the irony.  The short clip is after the jump.  I have no idea if it's SFW.  The music is bad, the lighting is green and the purported singer has text over her face.  You be the judge. Read More />There's been a rumor floating around for a while -- ironically, started shortly after the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna abuse deal -- that there is a Rihanna sex tape that would eventually hit the Internet. A very short trailer is on YouTube with a promise of more footage to be released on June 22nd.  June 22nd happens to be the same day that Rihanna will be appearing in court, prepared to testify against her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, also known as the guy that I'm sure isn't involved in any way in the...

Lindsay Lohan Under Investigation

vintagelindsay Over the past couple of days, a story has been circulating that Lindsay Lohan was being investigated for the theft of $49,000 in jewels.  Lohan and theft go together like, well, like Winona Ryder and theft.  It's not really an exceptional tale.  However, now that People confirms that the value is more like $400,000 and Scotland Yard is involved, it feels a little more like a story worth discussing. The jewels in question are a necklace and earrings that Lindsay wore for an Elle U.K. photo sh...

If Will And Jada Smith Show Up On Your Doorstep, Lock The Door

16804263willsmith616200910014pm Jada Pinkett has been terrifying Redbook readers by sharing her secrets to keeping her love life alive.  It's as simple as fornicating in other people's washrooms. "Be sneaky... your girlfriend's house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom.  Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex.  Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary!  (Do) anything it takes to keep the flame alive." How many of Will and Jada's friends are having their houses disin...

Alec Baldwin Hates TMZ and Today Show

16792693alecbaldwin6162009100747am As a celebrity, it's important to keep your name in the headlines.  But would you keep reminding everyone that you exist by publicly reliving the day you called your daughter a "rude little pig?"  Apparently, if your name is Alec Baldwin, the answer is "Yes." In the July/August issue of Playboy, Baldwin admits in an interview that he seriously contemplated suicide when the voicemail of him berating his daughter went public.   "I spoke to a lot of professionals, who helped me … If I ...

Is There Anything Greater Than Pics of Kristen Stewart’s Ridiculous New Haircut?

90615nn1_stewart_k_b-gr_02 Yes. There is something greater than pics of the ridiculous Joan Jett haircut Kristen's sporting for her new flick, Runaways. And it's these photos of Dakota Fanning, her costar, arriving at rehearsals. LOOK HOW BADASS DAKOTA IS NOW! Seriously, though, no. I don't think a look like this will ever work on Dakota. She's forever eight years old in my mind, and no number of pretentious interviews or rape scenes is going to change that for me. Put on a nice ruffled dress and run off to y...

Isn’t Chris Brown So Funny?

57689642chrisbrown615200952440pm Chris Brown showed up last night at the NBA finals with a Rihanna look-alike, Teyana Taylor.  I don't know if this is some part of his sick sense of humor, or what.  Some people will say it's just coincidence even though her glasses really add to Taylor's similarity to Rihanna.  (Teyna, a disciple of Pharrell, has been Tweeting  about how sick she is of being mistaken for Rihanna, natch.)  A picture in the gallery of Rihanna with Taylor from last year. Teyana,...

How Is This Not Going Directly To DVD?

mischabartondvd There are rhetorical questions that race through my mind keeping me awake nights.  Like, how did the person who designed the movie poster for The Homecoming keep a straight face when he typed "In Theaters This Summer" ?  He must have called all his friends and been like, "Dudes, Mischa Barton -- uh, I don't know...she was in some show like, five years ago -- anyway, she's in some movie about a girl who gets obsessed over her high school sweetheart.  Yeah, I'm not kidding, and catch this:  it's actually g...