Contradicting reports that the douche is devastated and begging Paris to take him back, Doug Reinhardt has released a statement that I’m sure is completely true and is in no way a sad attempt to mollify his painfully damaged douche pride.
“Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris
and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck.” Guess he doesn’t think Ronaldo will be “The One?” And to add to it all, sources close to Doug told us, “Contrary to reports, Paris is begging him to take her back, she made a mistake and loves him 100%.”
100% minus the 70% that has had Ronoldo’s dick implanted in it over the last few days. Because we all know Paris Hilton is 70% vagina. I’m not sure what the other 30% is.
Expect to see more statements like this, followed by outlandish claims about all the chicks he’s supposedly banged, the size of his schlong, and lots and lots of Jager bombs.
Seriously, what is it with getting his name wrong around here? I know mistakes are easy to make but it’s right there in the quote!
ps Sorry if the spelling is some form of American joke that I don’t understand. Things like that often go over my head :)
I’m American & if it’s a joke I don’t get it either. Maybe a proof reader is needed?
30% glitter
The other 30% is whore. As is the first 70%. They’re interchangeable.
I would’ve said Fraggle rock hair extensions and troweled on makeup, but if the 70% only covers Paris’s body and not the space occupied by it, I’d have to second here.
It’s fitting, Ronaldo is also a whore… a far more expensive one than Paris Hilton, but still. He also probably goes down more quickly than she does, which is saying a lot!
I’m sick of him. Regarding those “statements like this” that you foresee in the future, can you do me a favor and NOT post them? Thanks.
ahh, the voice of reason. thank you.
ps. “M-U-L-I-S-H-A”? really? L-O-S-E-R. please post about people we care about, not about the neighbors of uncles of friends of someone who was a contestant on The Apprentice, anyone who auditioned for or performed on American Idol, or anyone who appeared on Dancing With The Stars. Filling Paris Hilton’s orifices is not anything special to read/report about, ya know? Also, would be super super cool to not cover anyone named hayden, audrina, ashley, ashlee or lohan until they have done something worthwhile (or even noteworthy) in their young, young, young lives.
Hi again. just wanted to say that i appreciate this forum, this blog, this news mecca, and i enjoy many posts…the snark, the humor, the info, the photos. But as for DR and PH, my attitude is this: anyone lame enough to fill Paris Hilton’s orifices gets what’s comin’, so why do the rest of us have to suffer their poor judgement? Basta!
haha..hang ten douche. way too cool for words.
It’s so stupid how guys try to redeem themselves after a breakup. Yeah, I’m expecting those statements, too, Kelly. It’s like, get over it! You broke up, let it go, and show some class. Don’t try to fight back with some unclever statement hoping it’ll increase your status. It won’t. Quite the contrary.
The reality is if she does a homeless guy it will be someone on the same level, Doug is a wannabe, clingon, and Paris and her diseased cooch were the highlight of his life. He will never nab as big a name date again, he knows it and we know it, and since his dick has fallen off due to disease and warts, all any woman is going to get is that self entitlement he likes to toss around and his stellar personality with no ability to make a dime on his own.
Yeah, he’s a keeper.
i sereausly forgot his name for some time, and douche was the only name that came to my mind haha thanks beet
RonAldo… just think of a Spanish RonAld McDonAld. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. RonAldo. One more time. RonAldo.
Doug going into meltdown in 3…2…1….