I’m just going to say it. How did someone with Tori Spelling’s bone structure produce such a cute child? I’ve seen pictures of Tori as a baby…she was tragic looking. Could one-year-old Stella already be getting surgery? Was she a patient at the Romper Room Rhinoplasty Clinic? Oh, you know I’m just kidding! I just feel thankful that Tori’s husband Dean obviously and mercifully possesses all the dominant genes.
Tori was at the pool this weekend with that obviously adopted adorable child rockin’ a bikini. And when I say “rockin'” I basically mean that her chesticles have hardened into igneous rock formations. I hope she has strong swimming skills. Being in water with a mountain chain strapped to your chest can’t be safe.
Tori making that “Oh my God, what’s wrong with this baby’s face?” face while holding her daughter conjures up images of my favorite Twilight Zone episode. All the characters were doctors and nurses who worked at this hospital and had hideous pig faces but didn’t know they were ugly. Then, when they removed the bandages from the face of a mystery patient, she was classically beautiful and all the snout faces were horrified by her because they only knew their own definition of beauty. And while I understand that the moral of the story is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think we can apply a couple of general ground rules regarding beauty. For example, my two-year-old shouldn’t start growling and clawing at his own neck every time he sees a picture of Tori Spelling. (I need to video that.) I hope Tori is aware that she is the snout face in this and every scenario and her baby is the beautiful one.
Finally, I’ve been worried about Tori’s eating habits, however my concerns have been assuaged as she was hard at work scarfing down a sandwich. Dean is clearly eating small children her other two meals every day.
Tori’s daughter is a spitting image of Dean–which is a very good thing! What a cutie.
Seriously. Give that baby a couple tattoos, and she’ll look exactly like him.
That episode of the Twilight Zone is one of my favorites. Did anyone ever see the SNL skit with Pamela Anderson that spoofed that?? Best ever!! Does anyone know where I could find video of that?
Basic premise is the same as the Twilight Zone episode except all the female nurses think she is hideous but the males think she is hot. “It’s going to be awfully hard going home to my pig faced wife after this.”
I think Tori is falling out of her swimsuit there.
And why does her baby look like Lex Luthor?
haha.omg.u r so right!!!i did a double take an she really looks like mini lex.cute though
Wow, she doesn’t look too good. I do think that it’s a little lame to keep dissing Tori and her looks.
That’s one of the best episodes!!!
My old U.S. teacher would have “work and things” to do so he’d pop in The Twillight Zone and we’d all just shut up and stare at the screen
Sad! Tori is very unfortunate looking, but have you seen HER parents? Her Dad is the reason she looks the way she does. I feel bad for her, she probably got a lot of crap growing up which is why she got all the surgery. I wonder if she had to choose between being rich or beautiful which she would choose… and I mean really naturally beautiful, not the monster mash she has become.
All I can say about that one pic of Tori is….EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I AM a Tori fan!!
From everything I see in the media, Tori seems to be a good mom and a pretty down to earth person. Your post crossed the line and is downright cruel.
agreed.
this post was just mean.
wendie’s acting like she’s damn miss universe or something.
no room to talk.
Oh shut the fuck up you twats. “YOUR POST CROSSED THE LINE” who talks like that? There is no line for celebrities! Who cares if they’re down to earth or good mothers? That’s not what the writer is talking about here! She’s talking about how Tori Spelling is hideous. God, you people shouldn’t be allowed to have computers. Go hang out on 4chan you morons.
Wendie, when are you gonna write this book? Your writing never fails to deliver!!
Despite what other commenters think (dear, it’s a gossip blog, these people are in the public eye basically for us to cast our judgement upon them, be it positive or negative; and although Tori might be the nicest person ever, the comments were on her appearance and not her mothering skills or ties to reality.)
Also, now that you mention that episode of twilight zone, its all I can think of when I see the banner picture.
xox
Those “boobs” are frightening!
can i just point out that they are the only (?) celeb couple who have done a reality show and not gotten divorced (yet)…. don’t like her, but just sayin
I actually like Tori. But for the love of sweet baby Jesus, cover up those horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE tits.
” I hope Tori is aware that she is the snout face in this and every scenario and her baby is the beautiful one.”
wow. just wow.
I think the Reason Tori looks terrified is because the cameraman was taking a pic while it looks like her boob is coming out of her bikini and she’s sheliding it with her baby. – you can see the edge of her oversized nipple.
Who said money can buy looks ? Not with Tori.and it but her husband and baby got good looks. I wonder if he just there for the million she inherited from dad
I wonder if Tori got a egg doner or adopted. This child does not look anything at all like her. Although she could have her body shape when she gets older.
I think Tori is attractive and has a lovely figure actually
she has height and nice proportions the only sad thing is
the botched up chest job she got her plastic surgeon was the
pits. The baby is very plain.