Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Shia Talks Size

shia_labeouf

Shia LaBeouf is running his mouth again, this time about the size of his wee-wee. Turns out he’s no Tommy Lee. Shia talked to Playboy about losing his virginity and all the accompanying awkwardness:

“I was shaking in my boots,” he says about the romp, four years ago. “Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place … I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie … [It] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.

So let this be a warning to everyone: Trying to copy what you see in porn isn’t always the best idea. Also, it makes you look like a porn star. Seriously, folks, if he wants to to spit on it the first time you get down and dirty, he’s not really all that into your personality. Say no thank you and leave.

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