Adriana Lima used to be my “one.” And I don’t mean “one” in the sense Jack Donaghy meant it on that episode of 30 Rock a few weeks ago. I mean the “one” as in the answer to the question straight people like to ask each other when the party is winding down, they’ve had too much to drink to be able to go to sleep right away, and there is nothing but 1970’s reruns of Soul Train on TV. That is, “Who would you swap teams for?”
For one friend, the answer to that question (his “one”) was David Bowie– which is questionable because David Bowie is not really on anyone’s team, except maybe Iggy Pop’s.
But my “one” was Adriana Lima. I’ve been getting the Victoria’s Secret catalog since I was 17 years old and have always been intrigued by the sultry brunette with the pouty lips.
Lately however, every time I’ve seen her she’s been less and less attractive. It’s not as if she looks terrible. It’s just that she doesn’t look nearly as sexy as she used to. I can’t quite put my finger on it. She just always looks disheveled. It’s as if there is just something– her hair, her makeup, her posture– that is a little off each time, like a functioning alcoholic struggling to keep her appearance up.
What you see above is what was left of her when she attended the launch of Victoria’s Secret’s new Noir collection this Saturday in New York. In the gallery, you can also see a hilarious picture of her trying to look sexy with a very unhappy pussy.
I’m going to have to find a new “one.”
Her pussy scares me!
It’s the Milla Jovovich effect. Once youth starts to leave their faces, the remaining features don’t look very pretty anymore.
No no no, Milla is my girl crush. I think she’s the most beautiful woman ever. Well, after me but still….
Sorry, lol. I don’t want to crush your crush! Carry on.
:-)
“trying to look sexy with a very unhappy pussy”….comic genius Kelly…
I look forward to the weekends! THANKS!
Ive been IN LOOOVE with her for forever
Though, I kind of noticed what your talking about too. But this is the only time I will ever admit that!
Its because she got married.
Wow-look at the Aldridge sister-Lily and Ruby….Hott. Especially Lily she is smoking and dates Caleb from KOL
Oh yeah Lily models for VS pink ;-)
I think it’s because she gained weight. Anyone know if she’s preggers?
i totally think its the hair. its trashy looking and just ruins the whole look…imagine if she had silky long waves or something (and not that middle part she’s sporting)…much better
I have to agree with cady – it’s her hair. First of all it’s covering half of her gorgeous face and also it just don’t seem as lush as usual. She’s still lovely though. My fav vixen!
~LIA~
i thought she got botox in her face. yeah, noticed that she’s not quite as hot as when she first made it “big.”
My “one” is Kristen Bell — weird, I know.
I have like everybody else’s one… Angelina. Can’t help it. She’s that gorgeous, and you KNOW she’d be killer in the sack.
Hate to burst your bubble Dorothy (there’s no place like home) but BBT said it was just average.
oh, I don’t put too much weight on what jilted lovers have to say… and anyway, since it would be girl-on-girl, I’d listen more to what her ex-female lovers have to say.
oh and Adriana looks pretty constipated. Maybe that’s it.
she’s not 17 anymore.
Seriously. Turning 23 is a bitch.
she looks really confused…
Michelle Williams is the most beautiful woman alive. Especially with short hair. She is definitely my one.
In the last picture the top half of her looks golden and her legs are purple. gross
maybe she became a vampire
It’s called sun exposure damage, lack of sleep, aging, and the need for a refill of collagen.
Its cause shes no longer a “virgin” now that she got married
they start thinking about what to do with their face so hard it stops looking sexy and starts looking constipated. very sad.
I think my one would have to be Amy Sedaris. Aside from her in Strangers with Candy, she’s so adorable. She also cooks, makes crafts, is hilarious, and has a house rabbit. We would be in love if we just met in person… Le sigh.
OMG your one is soooooo good! I wanna be married to Amy Sedaris… or David Sedaris. F it, any Sedaris will do!
I always kept that fake nudie pic of Amy Sedaris covered in sprinkles and frosting on my kitchen wall, sort of a baking inspiration thing. “Stay super sweet!” it says on it. People would always walk in and be like, the hell?
yeah, i always said if i had a sexbot i would have it look like adriana..
My ‘one’ is Rachel Bilson <3 She is so adorable and sexy http://www.topnews.in/light/files/images/Rachel-Bilson-8.jpg
She used to be my “one” too, she was absolutely gorgeous. But she definitely looks different, how unfortunate.
Looks like Megan Fox just took my number one spot!
I agree she looks like she may be preggers…and stressed out. I have absolutely no grounds for saying this (except pictures–yep, I’m judging! on a gossip site!) but her husband looks mean and controlling. I’m guessing he’s what’s taken the blush off this rose.
I’m also going to be snarky and speculate that if indeed she was a virgin before marriage, sex isn’t all she had dreamed it would be with Captain Snarl.
LOL. not as fun as it look on the pornos huh Adriana.LOL
Hee hee–exactly!
I think her looks changed since she got married and starting having sex. She looks tired lately… ;P
And we thought sex was as fun as the pornos made it look. The d**k will do that to you.LOL
Two words: Olivia Wilde
wow tihs is stupid guys like you think that every girl has to look same way she was when she was 17.hopefully you mature and find out that she’s stilly pretty no less pretty or prettier.get over your self and grow up .thank god she found someone b4 a guy like you came and jerk her off.and in that picture i think she pregnet
she’s pregnant in this picture
Nothing happened to her she just went back to lookng the way she did pre-spray tanning, pre- collagen. She was a collaged abuser for a while and tanning freak. Look up pics of her pre-plastic surgery. this is what she looked like