Kiefer Sutherland Misses Jail

As it turns out, Ronnie Spector’s stretch marks weren’t the only completely offensive disaster at the Costume Institute Gala on Monday evening.

There are conflicting reports on what prompted the scuffle but the one detail that everyone seems to agree upon is that Kiefer Sutherland’s head smashed into the cranium of designer Jack McCollough.

According to a police report, Kiefer who is currently on parole from his last DUI, head-butted and broke the nose of clothing designer Jack McCollough who is one half of Proenza Schouler.

Some people are saying that McCollough knocked Brooke Shields to the ground and Sutherland came to her defense.  Her rep has already released a “We don’t know nothin’ ” statement.  Some claim, and this sounds the most likely to me, that the designer accidentally bumped into Kiefer and he responded with a head-butt.  No matter the motivation for the fracas, most accounts portray Kiefer as being drunk.

And really, no matter what happened, Kiefer Sutherland is just the dumbest man alive.  Was jail just so enjoyable that he can’t wait to get back?