Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Top Ten Reasons Mischa Barton Is A Ray Of Light In My Life

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It can be a difficult thing to do-looking for the positive in any situation.  When my son was four or five, he once said that although people dying of cancer was really sad, it “made room on the earth so that new babies can be born.”  That always stuck with me.  This young child who could find the silver-lining in any tragic circumstance.  Even cancer.  And with that same, cancer-embracing mindset, I’d like to document the qualities I most admire about Mischa Barton.  My word count begins…now.

1)  She’s frugal.  She has no shame in wearing the same, unattractive shoes over and over again.  I call that good old-fashioned common sense.

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2)  She’s true to herself.  She could never be called, uh, vain.

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3)  She is grace under fire and never gets ruffled.

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4)  Even under the harshest criticism, she just turns the other cheek.

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5)  Mischa has a great sense of humor.  She can be a downright clown sometimes.

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6)  She’s never afraid to show her true self-even if her confidence is sagging.

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7)  It’s a little known fact but Mischa took top honors in her sixth grade Home Economics sewing class.

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8)  She really identifies with nature.  Notice how the leafy headband and raccoon eyes really work together to achieve a woodland theme.

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9)  Really, Mischa is just an angel.  Doesn’t she look as pure as driven snow in this picture taken of her when she was just fifteen?

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10)  In conclusion, Mischa Barton’s someone who always tries her hardest and she should be recognized for that.

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I could rave on and on about Mischa, but sadly, my two-hundred words have run out.  I’ll be resuming my morphine drip for the rest of the evening.

49 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Oh Wendie.. This definitely made my day (considering its snowing right now outside, and I got 3 cm of snow on my birthday)

    Thanks muchos.. You have to do these more often! (Or should I say.. Lose bets more often? :P )

  • alright i LOVE MISCHA BARTON! and she is GORGEOUS! why can’t people see past her poor fashion choices, shes just trying to be original!

  • I always thought she was cute, but really, WHO is this chick? A model? How did she really get famous?

      • Actually I only recently found out she was on OC. I only knew her from some Canadian movie she did with a lesbian plot about six years ago called Lost and Delirious.

        Really you gotta see it. She plays a clueless mousy little girl who rooms up with a drama queen duo lesbian couple (Piper Perabo and Jessica Paré).

  • lol Wendie! A woman of her word.
    i’m glad you’re expressing a more positive outlook on Mischa ;)

  • that was fucking turture for me to read. can i kill myself now.

    she is ugly, she looks like a duck, shes drug fucked, shes fake, shes two-face, she has no friends, last but not least cause shes British

    • Heeey…
      What has the fact that she’s British got to do with anything?!
      I’ll have you know she was raised in America anyway. She was moved out there as a toddler.

  • When I read in the paper last night that Chris Brown had plead not guilty, my first thought was “I can’t wait to see Wendie’s Micha Barton post” and I wasn’t disappointed… thank you for keeping me entertained through the long, dreary work days!

  • That was one of the funniest things I’ve read on your site. Very clever and imaginative. Good job! =)

  • regarding #9 is she a secret Culkin sibling?

    Obviously the acting genes are absent but the looks seem to be there.

  • Wendie,
    What you have written is pure genius. I want to compliment you on your ability to find good in something that is so wrong. You also turned in your essay within a reasonble amount of time. Just please get on the first flight to Indiana so you can pick me off of the floor. I am dying or laughter! Great job girl!

  • Wendie,
    What you have written is pure genius. I want to compliment you on your ability to find good in something that is so wrong. You also turned in your essay within a reasonable amount of time. Just please get on the first flight to Indiana so you can pick me off of the floor. I am dying or laughter! Great job girl!

  • HAHA, that was even better than I thought it would be! Great job, Wendie. Very nice of you to let the pictures speak for themselves, lol :)

  • Wendie, I am so pleased with you being an addition here, you are good at what you do. I hope you stick around, girl!

  • awsome words. I always have and always will love Mischa Barton no matter what kind of shit the tabloids make up about her. Above everything else she is classicaly beautiful, and is at the top of my list of stars I would love to spend a weekend in bed with. My only preference would be she let her black pubic grow back in for me. Unfortuneately I won’t be able to accomodate her with a big set of balls slapping against her asshole like her ex Cisco Adler.

  • Okay, number one is true. She’s a real bargain hunter. I used to work at this emergency vet clinic in Toronto and she was filming something there. Her pet Yorkie got sick and she took it in to get better. Well, being a 24 hour emergency clinic the Vets charge a pretty large sum for treatment, especially if the pet isn’t turned over to its own vet when it’s well enough (I guess California was too far for the little thing)

    So the best part. She comes to pick up her little friend and gets handed the bill, which she is shocked by – I am paraphrasing what the receptionist told me but apparently she didn’t think celebrities had to pay for these sorts of things, so she asked that brilliant line:

    “do you know who I am?”

    Apparently since the receptionist gets the evening shifts she doesn’t get to watch the OC, because she had no idea. Too bad for Mischa. But you can’t blame a girl for trying.

  • Okay, number one is true. She’s a real bargain hunter. I used to work at this emergency vet clinic in Toronto and she was filming something there. Her pet Yorkie got sick and she took it in to get better. Well, being a 24 hour emergency clinic the Vets charge a pretty large sum for treatment, especially if the pet isn’t turned over to its own vet when it’s well enough (I guess California was too far for the little thing)

    So the best part. She comes to pick up her little friend and gets handed the bill, which she is shocked by – I am paraphrasing what the receptionist told me but apparently she didn’t think celebrities had to pay for these sorts of things, so she asked that brilliant line:

    “do you know who I am?”

    Apparently since the receptionist gets the evening shifts she doesn’t get to watch the OC, because she had no idea. Too bad for Mischa. But you can’t blame a girl for trying.

  • Top 5 reasons why Wendy published this post:

    1. jealousy

    2. jealousy

    3. jealousy

    4. jealousy

    5. jealousy