Jessica Alba has sworn off consuming anything white. Personally, this just sounds like an excuse to avoid oral, but what do I know? No potatoes, rice, white sugar or flour. Basically, she is removing the will to live, one entree at a time. No wonder she’s such a miserable bitch. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You cannot be happy without tater tots in your world.
She’s even insisting that people do not eat white foods in her presence or even bring them into her home. Now, when you attend highly-guarded celebrity weddings, security details check your pockets and bags for cameras and cell phones. I wonder if Princess Jess has bodyguards to do some sort of a cupcake pat-down (and yes, I’m aware of the sexual innuendo) to guests before they are allowed to enter her palace. Anyway, I’m so naturally sugar-sweet-I’d never get clearance.
I’d like to propose a ban of my own. I’d like to ban all marginally talented at best, paparazzi-eschewing actresses from walking the streets dressed up like the Hamburglar. Okay?
*singing*
monchichi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi!
monchichi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi!
monchichi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi!
lol
p.s. – wendie, she’s still pissed that instead of a cute baby, cash gave her a…
monchichi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi!
monchichi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi!
monchichi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi, monchi-chi!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HELL-ARIOUS!
cracking my ass up!
Do you have luv in your username because you don’t have any in your actual life once people (including your family) realize you’re the kind of person who insults a baby’s appearance on the internet to look clever? Because most people are smart enough to recognize how completely crass and soulless that is and avoid people as gross as you and Dina Lohan.
Most people dont give a damn about these celebrities, their stupid children, and many places including this web site are designed for people who share a common interest of not giving a damn.
Is your family proud of you being the PC police on the internet? Are the proud of your arm chair psych lesson about not being loved and not having love on the internet?
“crass” ? THE WHOLE WORLD IS CRASS! Were not going to stop to cry a freaking tear over stupid ass Jessica Albas baby being compared to a cute as chit mon chi chi!
Get bent!
Jessica Alba is very wise to do what she is doing. Diet is more important than most people will ever know. Why do you think there are so many diseases.
Yeah my momma wouldnt ever let us eat wonder bread cause it gives people Teh Aids.
I got the clap from a cracker once too.
Dont even get me started on why I wont be bluffin with Lady Ga Ga’s muffin either. I tell you what!
‘Jessica Alba is very wise’
oh yeah…she’s a reeeeeal ‘sage’, huh.
and, I know YOU know ’cause you two are bffs right?
*eye roll*
Haha Hamburgler….
I will never understand why someone like Jessica Alba settled for Cash Warren. I always thought he was kind of ugly. Call her untalented and bitchy, but there’s no denying that she’s a beautiful woman. And he’s…not beautiful.
Actually, a study shows that marriage last longer when the woman is more beautiful than the man.
I guess she’s being wise.
I always thought that she was way more into him than he was into her.
I love her scarf and her shirt, but not the jeans. I don’t understand why most celebrities are wearing those hideous jeans! Maybe because it makes them look ”fat”?
Just like the recent photo of Victoria Bekham. Yes, she’s stick skinny, but with the pair of jeans she wore, she actually looks *gasp* healthy!
Is it a new trend? If so, if I wore the jeans, it will make me look obese!
Now, about the white diet. It’s actually not that bad, but then again most of the food I love are sugary and pasta and rice.
I think the best way is moderation and not get anal about diet.
I think it’s a bit unfair that girls like Wendie and Evil Beet hate Jessica Alba. I admit that when I watch her on late night shows I cringe at how simple-minded she is. But she seems good-hearted. She’s not superficial: Cash Warren proves that. Hating her is like hating a child – a child with a very mature, beautiful exterior. You girls just hate her because she’s beautiful. And sexy. And because you know that however simple-minded, or fashionably challenged, guys will always give her the benefit of doubt and like her.
not sippin’ from the hater-ade chalice, but seriously…her run should’ve ended with ‘dark angel’ …..just like wahh-niston’s run should’ve ended with ‘friends’.
there are more talented actors in musical theatre for cryin out loud…hell, in my kid’s drama dept. i’ve seen better.
im jussayin.
You just fucking made fun of how her baby looks and you’re not sipping from the hater ade? You’re replying to every positive comment someone makes about her and you’re not sipping from the haterade?
Seriously, you hate Jessica Alba. Maybe because she has friends and family and you’re clearly repulsing everyone who meets you. So you’re here, commenting over and over again.
What is actually wrong with you? Why are you taking the time to reply to every vaguely positive comment here? Do you have any friends or do you insult their children’s looks and scare them all off?
Why dont you two cry babies go play on the John and Kate plus 8 little bastads page!
Not every one has to like your god damn babies.
lol STFU
*sound of me loading a fresh clip*
(click, click)
wooooow…i could like literally feel your vains popping out of your forehead & shit.
phew! – that sure showed some moxie!
fyi- i don’t hate, sugarpuss…i appreciate.
and what i’d REALLY appreciate is a real formidable adversary, who has more….how do you say….INTERESTING, WITTY, SHARP, BITING things to say, who can ACTUALLY go toe to toe with me.
your constant whining?
-boring
-lame
-wack
-corny
-slow
-did i say boring?
man! if i were as tired as you…i would just GIVE UP!
why do write what i write?
‘CAUSE-I-CAN.
it’s my little escapism out of a world of etiquette, politeness & manners, that my profession demands on me daily.
now.
run along and go finish putting your head in jessica alba’s crotch, and do a better job of eating her puss than you did with your snappy (not) lil’ comments.
Kay!
mmmmbye, bye.
_________________
still here?
(which didn’t you understand? the ‘bu’ or the ‘bye’.)
mmmmbye, bye.
;-)
“She’s not superficial: Cash Warren proves that.”
huh? how? he is still very good looking.
Nothing white. Pfft. Racist!
If I’m not mistaken, Cash’s daddy was a black man….although I guess it’s possible that she didn’t know before they got hitched. In any case, that would make his winky “tan” so she prolly consents to oral, but makes him finish in a napkin.
and above is the reason i never liked soleil
her writing is crap and not at all funny
Actually, she may be on the right track with this one. I’ve heard this is actually a very effective diet for people with an IQ under 60.
OMG tater tots.
Well, I love Jessica. I think she is beautiful, the baby is adorable and Cash is a hottie!
I bet youre also like omg 15.
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
“She’s even insisting that people do not eat white foods in her presence or even bring them into her home. ”
Dumb bitch… It’s one thing to change your diet but to tell people what you want them to do in your presence is another thing altogether and I am not referring to her saying what kinda shit they can bring into her home either.
Furthermore if she’s at a restaurant with whomever & they want to eat a side of rice or mashed potatoes she needs to just SHUT THE FUCK UP and take a laxative to unclog all the shit that’s resting in her brain.
and how’s that going for you? you don’t look any thinner.
She’d put my “white stuff” in her mouth.