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It’s Evil Beet’s Birthday!!

March 24, 2009
Spiteful Lars
Uncategorized
150 Comments

Wendie mentioned it earlier in the day, but our queen Evil Beet is celebrating her birthday today, make sure you give her some Twitter Love or comment on how much you appreciate her in your life! She’s the hardest working woman in show business and it’s important to be nice every once in awhile, if only to switch things up.

In her honor, I’d like to present:
Ten Things You Might Not Have Known about The Evil Beet

1. She once worked for Leroy’s Big House o’ Warplanes. She’s shaken Buzz Aldrin’s hand. And she once complained to me, re: Live Free or Die Hard, that F-35 planes weren’t operational yet, and thus shouldn’t have been in the movie.

2. She’s a dynamo at code and has a degree in computer science. Which is scary given she’s a tremendous writer too.

3. She once had a boyfriend who ended statements with .net. As in “I think I’m hungry… .net.”

4. Her mom is super tiny. But great too. Funny and warm, she’s a poquito dynamo. I’ve asked her to adopt me and I think she’s considering it.

5. Her sister works on an UNDERWATER SPACE STATION!! It’s like what they send into space, but 1,000 feet underwater. Beat that! (Note: I may not have all my facts straight on this one)

6. Her Grandpa Sam is in better shape than me. And you.

7. The bikini logo came from the fact that “Evil Beet” originally became her nickname because of a sunburn.

8. She was named after a Joan Baez song. And she was damn near named Charly!

9. Two years ago she was thrilled when she was doing 1/30th of the web traffic she’s doing now. So you can see world domination isn’t too far off…

and finally:

10. She’s a lovely human and good friend. She puts herself out there daily for everyone to pass judgment on, she’s painfully honest, and she works hard at her chosen profession.

And when it snows her eyes become large and the light which she shines can be seen…

Happy Birthday Beet! You are beloved.

xoxo – lars

150 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I don’t know… I’m hoping she doesn’t murder me for the inclusion of Seal. But she’s generally very forgiving of my shenanigans :)

  • That was touching! Happy Birthday, Sasha! It’s amazing how this site has grown; and with your blog and twittering, when do you sleep?

  • Happy Birthday, Sasha!
    I don’t know what I would do without my daily dose of Evil Beet.

    I hope it’s your best birthday yet.

  • Happy B-day Beet! Your site is awesome, so much better than the pink palace if you know what I mean. Funnier and less typos plus more intelligent commentators and a free avi. Can’t BEET that.

  • Lars, that was beautiful!

    Beet, I wish you a very happy birthday! You seem to be a fantastic human being and are giving people so much through your writing (either here or on your personal blog). I hope you’re enjoying your big day as much as you deserve it (wich should be A LOT)!

    Inesita :)

  • This was a great tribute Lars, but Beets still not going to blow out your candle…

    …hmmm… is that why you’re Spiteful?

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEET !!!!!!

  • HB EB!
    Thanks Lars for your tribute! Will there be a quiz on it at a later date?? Great info, answers a lot of questions on this day of Bett’s birth…
    Site is the best-feels like a community of snarky smart people who thrive on gossip and sarcasm. I will hate it if too many people start to discover it and make changes.It’s perfect as is.
    Celebrations all around…

  • Hi beet, will say it again…HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Here’s to eating lots of cake and cupcakes and listening to Taylor Swift all day long!

    PS: Good one on getting rid of the .net guy!

    Melissa

  • What a nice post, Lars!

    Beet, you often thank us for being awesome readers, but we do not get to thank you often enough. I honestly come to your site SEVERAL times a day for laughter and to enjoy your words of wisdom. You are a gifted writer (as is your entire crew!) and I truly appreciate how hard you work to keep us entertained.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

  • Happy Birthday!

    You’re in good company – it’s Harry Houdini and Peyton Manning’s birthdays today too.

    • That is soooo awesome! I am somehow related to Houdini (true story!) and Peyton Manning is the love of my life, lol. What a great day!

  • Happy B-day girl!!!! Your blog is so addictive, may you live a happy, healthy life for gazzilions of years and bring us joy, as you did so far. Luv from Europe!!!! muAH

  • Happy birthday, Beet!

    I think you are brilliant, a truly powerful young lady.

    You make my work days go faster and I’m totally addicted to your site.

    Thank you for all that you do.

    Enjoy your day!

  • Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day.
    I made the switch from Mario’s site (boycotted) to yours… and so happy that I did! Thanks for all that you do.

  • Awww, what a nice post.

    I’m rather new here, but I come here almost every day since I discovered this page. So I would like to put in my two cents: have a very happy Birthday, Beet, according to your own blog you really deserve a nice one this time! ;)

    Laura :)

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR BEET!! Twenty-seven was such a great and wonderful year for me, all full of resolutions and self-revelations, contentment and joy. I know you will find the same. It’s like your at just the right age to get the perspective and determination that will set you up for happy years ahead.

    As far as the increase in page views goes, congrats and all, but I will stubbornly continue to believe that this site is not overrun with young-uns and remains a hip, hapnin’, virtually undiscovered gem for the cool and in-the-know woman. I will also continue to believe that you pay attention to every wise adage that I type and that, were I still in Seattle, I could saunter up and invite you out for a birthday drink.

    These are the delusions I blissfully harbor, please do not squash them.

    Once more, happiest birthday wishes and I hope your next year is full of unexpected revelations and delightful surprises :-)

  • Happy Birthday Sasha! Hope you got my e-card to your email. It may be floating in cyberjunkspace…….

    Does a big squeezy birthday hug make you a mashed beet? Hope not…’cuz here is one!

  • Oooh Oooh! Same birthday! I’m 25 today – I hope 27 is an amazing year for you! Happy Birthday!

  • Happy Birthday! I love this site and your writing! I hope you have a really good day and get laid! hahaha.

  • Happy Birthday Sasha! I enjoy reading this blog so much! I check it out everyday. I love that I feel like I know you a little bit and for me as a swede who always dreamt of Seattle I think it’s extra exciting! This is basically the only celebnews I read, because everyhting that’s intresting is covered here and it’s written in a good way, no, a great way! So thank you for making my day better everyday! Keep the good work up girl and enjoy your day!

  • BEET! Happy Birthday!
    Thank you for what you do here. I read your site religiously and love feeding my addiction! Haha
    Have a good one :)

  • Happy bday! I already left a comment in the other entry, but I just wanted to say it again! I wish you all the best. I’ll give you some twitter love as soon as I get home tonight! Love you! Have fun today :] Tons of love from Venezuela!

  • Lars, can we become friends so that you can say lovely things about me on my birthday?

    Happy birthday Beet!

  • Happy Birthday Beet!!
    It’s my coffee and you every morning before work…thanks for always being there ;)

  • happy B-day, Beet…you truly are a talented woman! I admire you more than the people you gossip about!!! Best wishes to you and your lovely family!!!

  • Another fellow Aries! Sweet!

    Happy Birthday Beeeeeeetie!

    Youre awesome, keep up the great work with the veganism (is that a word? lol) and your (relatively) new, awesome lifestyle. Oh and keep up EB; you always do it well! Have an awesome day!!!!

    Woooooooooo!

  • Wow….I can say I knew you “when”, as I was a part of the “1/30th”, and all these Johnny-come-lately posters were just a gleam in your evil eye!!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEET!!! I really appreciate all the giggles you’ve brought me. Mazel Tov!

  • Happy Birthday! And thanks for clarifying the origins of Evil Beet/Bikini logo. I’m sure someone already posted a thanks for it, but I’m too lazy right now to go read the previous 58 comments (I’ll do it later tonight!).

  • HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Beet!! You probably have no idea how many lives you’ve touched just with this blog. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you how much your hard work is appreciated. It may be “just gossip” but it’s become personal for many of us — our own personal treat each day. So here’s hoping you have a great day, the best of all the ones past and the least of all the ones future!

  • i love you beet!!! i tell anyone who will listen about this site! you are funny and insightful! i hope you have a lovely birthday!!!!!!

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) You’re wonderful, hysterical & gorgeous.. don’t ever let anyonetell you otherwise. Have a fantastic day!

  • beet, i love you so much! you are such a sweet person and i just love hearing about your life! you are such an interesting person and you have got me addicted to this site!

    thanks for putting all your effort,info,talents,abilities, and personal life out to all of us! we loveeeeeeeeeee it!

    HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY, with leo too!

  • You are a wonderful woman who puts her heart and soul into this website! We love you Sasha and I hope you have a fantabulous birthday. You, my friend, deserve it! :-D

    <3

  • I’m a closet Seal lover myself, it’s the perfect song for EB’s birthday! Have a good one!

  • Thanks for being my ray of sunshine and laughter over the past several years. I’ve been with you longer than my boyfriend ;-) Happy birthday, Beet!!! XOXOXOXO

  • Beet, you always make my day with your wit and honesty and I hope all of these wishes from your family, friends and fans makes your day extra special. ¡Feliz cumpleaños!

  • Happy Birthday, Beet dearest! I hope you have a wonderful day, because without your column, my days would be MUCH less entertaining.

  • Just wishing you a Wonderful Day!!! Also wanted to mention I use to go to another site, and found your site to be much more respectful and better written. Thanks for appealing to people with a college education!!!!!!!!!!

  • That was a really sweet post to make for her…

    Happy Birthday, ya big-mouth genius. We all love you <3

  • Laremy, this is awesome! Great way to honor our pal the Beet! Hooray for Beet and her Birthday!

  • Happy Birthday Beet.

    By the way, about: “Her sister works on an UNDERWATER SPACE STATION!” I’d love to hear more about this (I was a US Navy Deep Sea Diver).

  • Happy Birthday! Best gift I can give, is you are a fox on the outside, smarty & witty & funny, but seemingly the perfect type girl on inside with a heart of gold. Happy Birthday Sasha, I don’t know you, but I love reading what you have to say in this circus world! & glad you started this site, I get the lowdown before most networks hit it (ET canada usually runs all your stories) if that is a compliment (hope so)….and that’s network, which says a lot.

  • Awwwww, thank you all SO MUCH for your sweet comments, and thank you to Lars for writing this up. You guys made my whole day.

    And the most ironic thing is that they filmed the F-35 scenes for Live Free and Die Hard less than a mile from where we were working to DEVELOP the plane that they were claiming was operational. WE WATCHED THEM FILM. The damn thing’s STILL not being used by the military and probably won’t be until 2010 at the very earliest. AND I’d like to add that the communications encryption software was coded BY ME, so I was very offended at the suggestion that it could be so easily hacked. That is my rant for the day.

    Thank you all again. You rock so hard.

    • How does one go from coding communications encryption software for the military to writing a celebrity gossip blog??? I mean, don’t get me wrong… the latter would seemingly be more entertaining. It just seems like a huge leap from one to the other.

      • It was an extremely strange journey, and a painful one, but I’m glad it all played out like it did. I’m much happier with my current career.

  • I read EvilBeet every single day. You are funny and acerbic and just dang right on. I couldn’t believe it when you came up here to the NW and fit right in! I didn’t see it coming. Welcome this year–I have a feeling it will bring white light and pure love.

  • Hi Beet/Sasha! I’ve been reading your site for more than a year now, and I simply can’t live without reading your gossip blog. Once when I had an out of town (and out of signal) assignment, I just HAD to find a way to read the blog through mobile. I love you and the site THAT much. :)
    And on a personal note, I’ve also been reading your other blog. The day I’ve read that you’ll start to actively search for love, I began praying everyday that you’ll find your better half. That’s my birthday wish for you, dear.
    Stay pretty! Lots of people love you.

  • Happy birthday Beet! You look stunning in your avatar, I love the lipstick shade you have on! I hope that you’re having a wonderful day, I hope we get to hear all about it!

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEET!!!! I hope you had the perfect birthday, and i sure hope that all of your dreams come true. Thank you for making me smile everyday when i read your blog. You’re wonderful and i admire you very much.

    That message from Lars made me cry.. It was the sweetest thing ever, and im jealous.. lol..

    Anyways, have a great day and God bless you.
    Tako

  • Beet, I read everything you & Wendie write everyday. You’re the greatest and keep on doing what you do best and what makes you happy.

  • BEET!
    you have sustained me through many a physics class! you are an AMERICAN HERO!!!!!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

  • Happy Birthday Beet!
    Love u, gotta get my Beet fix everyday,
    love your witty, sarcastic, and smart comments

  • Happy Birthday Ms.Sasha!
    thank-you for keeping me entertained on a daily basis,
    and being nothing like that dweeb Perez Hilton :D
    Muchos Love!

  • Aw, I missed this on the day. Belated happy birthday wishes, Beet! I hope you have an incredible and fulfilling year. Thanks for all the humour and fun you bring us every day.