Bruce Willis and girlfriend Emma Hemming got hitched Saturday morning in a small ceremony held at Bruce’s home in the Carribean Islands of Turks & Caicos, proving that divorcing Demi Moore may not have been the stupidest move he could have ever made. With his marriage to Hemming, both sides of that divorce have now moved on to much younger paramours.
I can only guess that they are both alien succubi who need to constantly divorce and remarry younger mates from which they can slowly drain the life force energy necessary to sustain their people suits. Bruce has been needing younger prey for some time now. Look how much his people suit has decayed!
LOL
All I have to say is, HAHAHA!! Brilliant!
Ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha. This was hilarious.
“people suit” nasty and hilarious!
HILARIOUS
Kelly, have to say….am enjoying the sarcasm and bang-on observations!! Keep up the good work.
I just want to tell you how much I’ve been enjoying your posts. I know this has been said a lot, but you seem like such a great addition to the team. Keep up the good work :)
Bruce looks great in the picture; the guy is in his fifties for Christ sake. Waiting to see your people suit, Kelly. I’m not a huge Bruce Willis fan by any stretch, but I can suspect that he doesn’t need to drain anybody’s life energy to feel like he’s made a mark in the world. That’s kind of the domain of weekend gossip fill-ins.
Compared to Demi Moore the rest of humanity fails at aging. That woman has like whipped Time itself into shape and sent it back home feeling sore.
ohmygod, chris. shut. up.
I hate to say this, and I know it’s terrible of me… but every time I hear this story all I can think about is, ‘Do you think she wants kids? Is she afraid of the chance that she will have daughters with huge chins? Is she praying for boys or just avoiding getting pregnant all together?’
Geez until you pointed that out Kelly I would have never suspected the prospect of sucking the life out of a younger person. I love it! I knew Demi was Alien like! Bruce I never suspected, but thanks to your observations, it is definitely confirmed! Kudos to you Kelly! Love the sarcasm…..and I LOVE the updates, keep them comin!
I some how envision Ashton taking a huge liking to his wife’s ex husband’s new wife while they vacay and pal around and then the happy relationship sharing becomes unhealthy and the state of connectedness between said people goes ballastic.
lol @ Dee Cee… however, I could totally envision Bruce & Demi being strangely ok with it… Demi would twitter ‘the exes’ wife and my hubby are making out! cute! fun family time for all!’
yeah i can see that completely
People suit.
I read that, then snickered, then sobbed a lil’ because my people suit is sagging and I have no young dude to bang out the dents. (Any volunteers? I’m not that nice to look at but I make up for it with boundless enthusiasm.)
That gosh darned Linda Hogan just might be on to something by being on, well, someone half her age.
Bruce has a pretty big wiener, btw. Big wiener+big bank account+fame = Pick of the litter, pretty much. Many a lass would risk large-chinned offspring to get with that.
Anyhoo, your alien theory was, as Anna Nicole once said so perfectly, “the most funniest” post you’ve made yet.
Nice job, dear! :-)
*throws confetti*
people suit? kelly u are so cute!
Ba Ha Ha Ha
Brilliant! What a snarky-filled, hilarity your first weekend has been, Kelly!! Me Likee!
Kelly: I… LOVE… YOU!
She is gorgeous!
Kelly, you totally rock.
Soleil who?
She looks like a young Demi
she is sooooooo pretty
You are going a great job, Kelly. :)
People suits…Lol!
alien succubi?!!!!!!!!! this post made my day!
So they’ll get together for a big blended family Christmas. Then Emma and Ashton are looking at each other across the table and go… ‘wait a minute….’
Congrats to Bruce, I love him! However, his wife looks like a combo of Demi Moore and Tia Carrera, only better looking than both of them. Hope they’re happy and stay together.