Like a buttercup in piss storm - two many shades of yellow
Former girl next door Kendra Wilkinson has posted some pictures of herself on her blog from back in the day when she really was a girl next door, aged 2 to about 12.
Now, who wouldn’t love looking at pics of Kendra when she was a cute little potbellied kid? When her clothes were stained with mysterious liquids dribbled out of sippy cups (and not old man penises) and any nudity was innocent, and didn’t come with a paycheck (or old man penises).
But I’m calling her out on her assertion that these baby pictures are “proof” that she is “originally a NATURAL blonde”– a claim she feels she needs to make thanks to “all the blogs out there that are always calling [her] a fake blonde.”
First of all, being blonde when you’re age is still young enough to be tabulated in months rather than years does not give you the ability to claim that you are naturally blonde when you’re in your twenties. Kendra knows this, and is pretty much admitting that she’s not a natural blonde now by using the word “originally.”
Secondly… WHO FUCKING CARES?? Honestly, any controversy over whether or not a woman dyes her hair is so antiquated that it’s laughable. Just own up to dying your hair (like we all know you do) and maybe blogs will stop writing about it. (Yes, I realize the irony of the fact that I’m writing about it right now.)
If Kendra needs a controversy (to discuss or to defend) let’s talk about the fact that she played hot potato with a pair of shriveled old man balls, passing them back and forth between two other women for years until finally the music stopped and she was out of the game
Seriously Kendra. Stop denying your roots. Kunta Kinte would be very disappointed..
“Like a buttercup in piss storm – two many shades of yellow”
–like a buttercup in *a* piss storm – *too* many shades of yellow
“Like a buttercup in piss storm – two many shades of yellow”
–like a buttercup in *a* piss storm – *too* many shades of yellow
Based on your own blog about hair color, I would think you’d understand her desire to be seen as a true blonde. :)
Ugly kid, ugly adult.
“…let’s talk about the fact that she played hot potato with a pair of shriveled old man balls, passing them back and forth between two other women for years until finally the music stopped and she was out of the game”
Funniest Paragraph EVER
Agreed, I nearly sprayed coffee through my nose reading that.
You make me laugh out loud
Good job, little lady
My god. I cant stand her. Her horse Laugh, and her horse face. Why is she called pretty in today’s standards? Who decided that she was attractive??????
There are a million women, every day natural beauties roaming around that I see and a woman like this is picked to be a celebrity because of her hot bod & beauty?
ouch! NO wonder kids are messed up!
No kidding. Her hair is so bleached it looks like straw.
Kelly, you are a GEM. lolz
“My god. I cant stand her. Her horse Laugh, and her horse face. Why is she called pretty in today’s standards? Who decided that she was attractive??????”
probably the same delusional people who think Katy Perry has talent.
HAHAHAHAHA!! YESS
Kelly, very funny post!
Glad you’re here!
Kelly-
You had me at “Kunta Kinte.” Bahaha. Love it!
blonde…. if you’re not now, you never were~
oh my, you are one funny girl. i was laughing the whole way through this. i read your blog and you said you were a little worried about being too sarcastic at times–PLEASE, do not be :). it is why we read. this story is hilarious.
My name is not Toby!!!
By the way, her laugh alone makes me questions her “Special Olympic” status.
So much for Beet’s standard for impeccable spelling and grammar.
Right, because Soleil was a gem when it came to that.
I am usually a nazi about that stuff, and didn’t even notice it in Kelly’s post. I guess it’s because she’s funny enough to distract me from that crap.
Riiiight…proper grammer and punctuation = crap.
I know these two kids (they were my moms students, foster children from russia with fetal alcohol syndrome). Anyways, their foster mother had their hair bleached blonde, as small children because she thought it would look cuter… Just saying.
My crazy ex-aunt used to dye the hair of her Russian babies with fetal-alcohol syndrome (my cousins) blonde because it would look cuter. She was out of her mind! You don’t live in Virginia do you?
Hahah nope, new jersey.
LOL
Yeah I was thinking that too when I read this post…thought they taught kids about the difference between your and you’re in grade school.
I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE, ITS SO FUNNY, IM LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT BLOG, WELCOME.
I’M SURE SHE ESPECIALLY APPRECIATES YOU YELLING YOUR PRAISE.
I like you Kelly… you’re funny!
:)
Yo…I’m guessing the “two” was a pun. Don’t you have better things to do?
That was supposed to be directed at ‘Check It’…welcome Kelly!
Was I the only one that thought it was Jenna Jameson?
more posts today?
If wit is a sign of intelligence, (which it is) then you are brilliant!!! I love this site, but that buttercup lines was more than pleasing. I may just have to touch myself now. Well, after it builds back up again. ;)
Beh.
ahhh! she has no neck!
let’s talk about the fact that she played hot potato with a pair of shriveled old man balls, passing them back and forth between two other women for years until finally the music stopped and she was out of the game
holy shit.
instant classic.
i bow down to your wit.
Set your own life more easy take the credit loans and all you require.