Look Who Has A Job!

My all-time fave celeb ever finally got a job.  She’s back on the CW, bitches!

Despite rumors that she was going to be on Melrose Place, she has accepted a role on the Ashton Kutcher production, A Beautiful Life.  Really, how can you not cast Mischa in any program that has any form of the word “beauty” right in the title?

Mischa was happy to finally have a role, any role, to talk about:  “Ashton developed it about his life growing up as a model from Iowa, so it’s about the whole fashion world that he was in, and obviously I have a lot of friends in the fashion world, so I’m used to being around a lot of people in that.  [I play] a bitchy model-type character, like it’s a totally different character for me.”  Yes, because Mischa is totally connected.  Lots of friends in the fashion world.   In real life, so.  Not.  A.  Bitch.

A show about the fashion world; no wonder she’s been getting so skinny!  Of course, she was quick to dispel any eating disorder rumors, yet again:

“Like right now I’m supposedly too skinny. I just had to release a comment about how I’m eating enough and I’m healthy,” says Barton, who nibbled on a sweet onion tart with mushroom and a burger during the event. “I’m more concerned for young girls these days … and I think it’s important that you say I’m comfortable and I’m fine and you should to be too because it’s, like, silly … You’re always too skinny or too fat or too something.”

Mischa, you are always too something.  Too irrelevant.  Too annoying.  Too present.

I really am not sure what’s wrong with me.  Sure, I have celebs that annoy me or just generally stun me with their level of unearned fame, but this is different.  Celebuhate is akin to having a phobia.  There is no rational basis for it whatsoever.  But if you suffer the affliction, exposure can cause such a reaction.  I have a near-Pavlovian response to the mere mention of Mischa’s name.  I’m talking about a quickened pulse and sweating glistening.  There is not a thing in the world Mischa Barton could ever say that I would not find fault with.  Like, she could say, “I’m quitting acting so I can focus all my efforts on breastfeeding starving babies,” and I would immediately respond with, “Isn’t breast milk that is laced with drugs harmful to babies?”  At this point, I can’t control myself.

Maybe I need some sort of immersion therapy.  That’s it, I’m off to watch the first three seasons of The O.C.