Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Alba Cried Because She Had to Work Out

Jessica Alba Holding Baby Daughter Honor Marie Warren Pictures Photos Before we get into the meat of this particular story, I would just like to bitch about Jessica Alba for a bit. You see, when she was pregnant, she didn't want photographers anywhere near her. She was awful about it. She later claimed she felt fat and disgusting and didn't want people to see her that fat. Jessica: YOU WERE PREGNANT. It's OKAY to put on a little bit of weight during that particular time period! So, anyway, now that the baby's out (and she INSTANTLY dropped the baby weight), Jessica cannot whore out that child frequently enough...

Want Everyone to Know Where You Are at All Times?

Google has just launched what I like to call the Worst Idea Ever, but they're calling it iLatitude. Basically you can use cell phones and Google Maps to figure out where all your friends are at all times. Now, don't worry, you can hide your location from anyone at any time, but then when that person's your wife she's gonna be all like, "Dude, if you were at the office, why did you have to hide your location from me? WHY?" Seriously, this is the worst thing ever to happen to the world. I will not be signing up. Until all my friends do and pressure me to, and then I will, and then I'm going to hack into it so that my location always shows up as "In Michael Phelps' Bed." /> Google has just launched what I like to call the Worst Idea Ever, but they're calling it iLatitude. Basically you can use cell phones and Google Maps to figure out where all your friends are at all times. Now, don't worry, you can hide your location from anyone at any time, but then when that person's your wife she's gonna be all like, "Dude, if you were at the office, why did you have to hide your location from me? WHY?" Seriously, this is the worst thing ever to happen to the world. I wi...

Lynne Spears Isn’t Done Cashing In On Her Kids

935349britneyspears242009111544am-1 The book was not a huge hit.  This hasn't deterred Lynne Spears from shopping around for a deal to bring her Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World masterpiece to film. Can we talk casting?  The main characters are Lynne, Jamie, Brit, Jamie Lynn, K-Fed, Sam Lufti and Adnan Ghalib and a pink wig.  What actors possess the talent and depth needed to navigate these complicated roles?  Is there any earthly being that could fill Britney's flip-flops?  I'm no...

Joaquin Phoenix Confirms He’s Laughable Despite What His Knuckles Say.

56095752joaquinphoenix242009105021am A few weekends ago, after this performance, the media and blogs started reporting that Joaquin Phoenix's transition from acting to music was some sort of Andy Kaufman-like hoax.  I didn't write about it because I knew it was his PR team doing spin.  You just know there were closed door conversations that sounded like "He's so bad-we have to tell everyone it was a joke we were doing for a documentary." Phoenix now confirms that he's just really, really bad.  I, for one, am glad he's talking...

Quotables

11226774stephenking24200995251am "Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good." Stephen King discussing authors he likes and, obviously, devastated authors he doesn't like. Can someone explain this to me?  I didn't read the Twilight series and really have no intention to.  Vampires never did it for me.  But everyone around me raves about how great they are-the book...

Brief Note. Huge Sigh Of Relief.

Update:  Erykah Badu named her Tweeted baby Mars Merkaba, not Twitty Milk.  I had a few sources that reported that horrible TM name and believed it.  I think I've been reading this Hollywood crap too long because the Twitty Milk name seemed totally plausible.  Sigh.  Moving on... />...

Carnie Wilson: Singer, Mother, Game Show Host

15289445carniewilson24200974809am Carnie Wilson is set to host the newest incarnation of The Newlywed Game.  About the new GSN gig, Carnie said, "My personality and energy is perfect for something like this. First of all, I'm married, and I loved watching The Newlywed Game when I was younger. I watched it all the time. I always hoped the couples would start fighting."  Being married and finding joy in watching conflict ensue is the criteria that makes her "perfect" for hosting The Newlywed Game?  Hire me!  And seriously,...

Hilary Duff Tries To Be Snarky

"I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know, uh, I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too." Clip 1:  Hilary Duff trying to be all badass and dismissive in response to Faye Dunaway's statement that, in regards to the cast of the Bonnie and Clyde remake, Duff was not "a real actress." Clip 2:  Listen here Lizzie McGuire, I don't know how to break this to you but, uh, you look a lot like a young...
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