Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Want Everyone to Know Where You Are at All Times?

Google has just launched what I like to call the Worst Idea Ever, but they’re calling it iLatitude. Basically you can use cell phones and Google Maps to figure out where all your friends are at all times. Now, don’t worry, you can hide your location from anyone at any time, but then when that person’s your wife she’s gonna be all like, “Dude, if you were at the office, why did you have to hide your location from me? WHY?”

Seriously, this is the worst thing ever to happen to the world. I will not be signing up. Until all my friends do and pressure me to, and then I will, and then I’m going to hack into it so that my location always shows up as “In Michael Phelps’ Bed.”

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  • Actually, as bad as your scenario might sound, a worrying mother of her ten year old child who hasn’t arrived home after school at eleven thirty at night might not think this programme is the “Worst Idea Ever”.

  • this doesn’t bother me. i don’t need to worry about who knows where my lyin ass be at. we need to have a more open society where people don’t feel the need to lie about where they are anyway. we’re all just fish in a barrel. this is a completely simplistic ideal i realize. so what.

  • Awesome Beet…

    I’m gonna hack in and put Osama Bin Laden in your bed.

    You shouldn’t have told anyone… You could’ve made a fortune playing hide n’ seek.

    “Aah fuck… you found my ass again!”

  • This should be great for stalkers, psycho ex-husbands, and rapists. Can’t wait till Google gets sued for $2 billion by some poor woman whose been victimized by this. As if Zabasearch wasn’t bad enough.

  • I saw an episode of Numb3rs where they used this cell-phone tracking malarchy to kill people.

    It just popped into my head as I was reading this so I wont be signing up for that. Plus my location would only move from Bed to Sofa (‘Im unemployed, it’s allowed).

    • bed to sofa sounds like an excellent life.

      I understand. I would have to explain to people why often Thurs-Sun I pretty much don’t leave my room.

  • This is also “instant alibi.”

    If I ever want to go commit a crime I’m going to duct tape my phone under a church pew for a few hours. :-)

  • Why in the hell would you want to be involved in this catastrophe waiting to happen? I for one do not want my crazy ex husband knowing all my whereabouts.

  • Ok, I haven’t said anything up until now, but I feel I have to, for your own good. Beet……Michael Phelps is the ugliest motherfucker on the planet. Perhaps you have been distracted by the sausage in the speedo and therefore haven’t looked at his face, but you should peel your eyes of that spandex-wrapped beaver cleaver for a moment and look north a bit. You’ll see that I’m right.

    • Swear to God I thought the same thing! Beet – there are plenty of hot bods out there that have a human type face! What the fuck is wrong with you. Are you just trying to get a rise out of all of us “Phelps is hideous” posters? Seriously, every time you mention him the visual that pops into my mind is painful. Please, Please, I’m begging you to move the fuck on!

    • Awwww…that’s so meany-pants! Yeah, his face is…well, yeah. (It’s not that bad, really.) BUT! You can’t deny the instant dirty-thought-fest induced by his long, toned, streamlined, accentuated muscle. I meant “muscles.” Plural, yeah, all of them…not just the lone ranger. I get it, Beet. Commence the love. Wet pictures would be appreciated.

  • Wow, This is like a nightmare come true. I still haven’t changed my cellphone because my hubby wants me to get one with GPS. I’m already paranoid as it is. Mark my words, Zombies are just around the corner or even worst the In-Laws.

  • I don’t see it as such a terrible thing. Perhaps it’s because my life is pathetically simple. Not many people to hide from.

  • truth is as soon as you make/receive a cellphone call, you are already giving away your location
    you can argue that only the authorities have access to that
    I can argue that any stalker only needs to have a good friend working for the company or work him/herself for the company
    Best idea…never use the cellphone at all
    As for “In bed with Phelps”, you know you have my full support.

  • gahh
    im 15 and i would hate this
    its just another way for the goverment to gain more control over our society .
    gahhh this angers me :@
    x