Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris, I Know You Need To Get Laid, But Leave The Boy Alone!

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What the hell is wrong with Paris Hilton?  I know this is such an open-ended question so let me clarify.  I’m not referring to her sequined smiley face dress, nor her disfigured frame which has officially met the criteria for bobblehead status.  I’m not even talking about the picture in the gallery where she’s giving Lady Gaga an “I’m totally goin’ Lohan on you” look, or the one where she’s humping a wall.

No, my query relates to the dude that she’s totally impaling with her pelvic bones.  His name is George Sampson; he’s a dancer and 2008 winner of Britain’s Got Talent.  He’s fifteen.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Please don’t shoot me for saying so, but I like her dress. I think it’s quirky and cute. Maybe I’m losing it, it’s just that the smiley face makes me feel happy.

      • You’re probably right. I also have a thing for that old Zoloft rock that jumped around sad, then got happy. Remember that? That little guy could make my WEEK. I think I have to focus on little things, cause the big ones suck!

    • Wait, seriously?? I HATE the Zoloft rock! It makes me so sad, even when it gets happy at the end. I don’t know, something about the idea of a rock being depressed. It really gets to me.

      That’s so funny that your very specific like is my very specific dislike. I seriously have to, like, change the channel when one of those commercials comes on.

      (Sorry, it won’t let me reply to the actual comment that mentions this so I’m replying to your first one.)

  • Make her go away, make her go away! Since people around her age can’t stand her, now she’s going for the younger crowd. She’s so pathetic – corrupting our youth. There is no substance behind those fake blue contact. Gross, I just know too much about this chick.

  • You are… without a doubt the funniest person out there. At my work (at a machine shop) we have to crowd around and see what new and fantastic thing you are going to shred that day. Not that Paris is that difficult to do (pun intended).