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Hey, You Think I Was Rough on Raven-Symone?

January 16, 2009
Evil Beet
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81 Comments

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Men’s website Spike.com has just released a list of the Top 7 Butterbodies.

Listen, I may talk my fair share of shit about Mandy Moore’s personality, but I’ve never called her “chunky, pudgy and out of shape … like she spent the last few years on a couch watching television and eating tubs of Neapolitan ice cream.” And I once said Liv Tyler was wearing the wrong dress for her super-buff legs, but I never said “she looks like a dowdy housewife who indulges in too many home-baked cookies.” And I think Salma Hayek is freaking stunning, and I would certainly never accuse her of “carrying a spare car tire around her mid-section.”

So the next time you guys want to be all like “Raven-Symone has a perfect body!!! You’re CRAZY to call her fat!!! It’s totally reasonable to have a BMI of 31 as long as absolutely none of it is muscle!” I just want you to remember that I am, compared to this nation’s asshole men, very understanding and appreciative of women’s natural curves.

81 CommentsLeave a comment

  • God, even all the Spike commenters are pissed. If the article were actually funny, I would have let it fly, but it’s just bad.

    • could not agree more. it wasn’t nearly funny, it was just hateful and sad. and at least a couple of those chicks are mothers. jesus christ.

  • “compared to this nation’s asshole men”

    I am outraged at this close minded, predjudiced and ignorant stereotype. Not all men are like this – you can’t make a blanket statement about American men just because one magazine makes a comment like this.

    And don’t say it’s just a joke, because it isn’t. You wouldn’t make a blanket comment about other groups – women, Jews, or blacks – based on the the behaviors of a small group. And, if you did, you would rightly be condemned as a women hater, anti-Semite, or racist.

    I demand an apology for this travesty.

    • Fuck off. YOU try being a woman in today’s shallow society. You don’t see women’s magazines/channels creating mean-spirited “lists” like this. Maybe we should start one.

      YOU “demand an apology”. Good one.

    • Errr…i didn’t read that as a blanket statement…i got the impression that it was just referring to the men of the nation who are assholes

      but julia is right on…society sucks :(

  • Really bad article. If Mandy Moore is fat, I’m dowright obese (believe me, I’m not). Excuse Salma for having a baby within the last year and not damn near killing herself to lose the weight like others have done (think JLo). Tyra is getting older and still looks great, Drew was cute as a child but not pretty as an adult in my opinion, yes Liv Tyler could get into better shape, but if she’s happy, who cares?

    I’m sure the writer of this article looks like Mr. Universe? Or is he a fat, bald guy chowing down on his fifth donut of the day as we speak?

    • Spike is a men’s site. You have the right to have an opinion on the site but you have no right to think your opinion is in anyway better than theirs. Tyra looks like shit now, Liv has gotten pudgy and I never thought Drew was good looking. What the site says is true. Being a star is about being extraordinary not ordinary. If you don’t want every single aspect of your life scrutinized then stay out of the public eye and get a 9 to 5.

      • And the loser who posted this got slam dunked by most of the men who read the site, which he deserves. I guess Tyra has no right to age, Liv has no right to eat and Drew has no right to exist? Sorry, but being a star is about being extraordinary in your field, not about being extraordinary in every way. Think Meryl Streep, does she not have the right to be one of the finest actresses there is, since she’s not beautiful? I agree with your analogy of the public eye, and I enjoy having an opinion, but none of these women are fat. But the poster is an ugly balding guy with no taste in real women, he can’t tell a photoshopped celeb from a real person. He’s lost touch with reality.

  • I checked out the site and oh my God! Listen to this:

    “As a bonafide star, Drew cannot do this. Otherwise every hot woman in Hollywood will adopt a similar mentality and the world will be void of super thin, super hot women.” (on Drew Barrymore)

    “Hollywood is about being extraordinary, not ordinary. It’s crazy that she has become a poster child for “curvy” women. She basically gives women an excuse to be fat.” (on America Ferrera)

    Damn! I’d never personally let myself become “as big” (in lack of better words) as any of those women, but those comments are completely nuts. None of them are seriously overweight although they are quite curvy – but hey, taste differs, they’re not by any means fug. Calling them fat is seriously taking things to a whole new level.. This is probably the stupidist thing I’ve seen in ages.
    Someone remind me why I am a heterosexual woman because these kind of things make me forget!

  • I can picture the author now, driving down the road in his 4×4 with a “no Fat chicks” bumper sticker, severe case of dunlop, beer in the cooler, and food on his shirt. Wait, is that? Omg, it is! My brother!

  • Great comment though, but that guy is such a dickface. Can’t wait to be able to comment on a picture of his (probably pimpled faced) ugly ass picture. I say “put it up”, see if he likes that Beet.

  • okay i’m totally going to contradict myself on this.
    i DO agree with him on the fact that these woman ARE not like normal people. they have a team of people to make them look good. they should at least be in shape and have muscle definition if they want to be in the public eye.
    but the chick from greys anatomy i think has a great body. she IS big boned and i dont think she can ever be “thin”.
    liv tyler tho…should at least get firmer.
    another problem i have is that a few of these women are tall. and coming from a female who is 6 feet tall. unless you’re stick thin, you look big. it sounds odd. yes we do weigh more and it doesn’t show. but the minute you put on a few extra pounds we look like beasts. now we’re big in height and big in weight.
    i’m thin. i’m weighing in at 160. i wear a size 4. if i were 5’5 i’d be big. but if i weighted 180, i’d look like a monster
    tyra is not fat. she’s average. if she were to put on 10 or 15 pounds you probably wouldn’t notice. but she’s probably putting on 25 or 30 p0unds in order for people to even notice.
    i dont know if that made sense to anyone but me lol.
    take it from me tho…being tall is great when it comes to weight but its like once you reach a certain weight, one pound looks like 30 pounds on us

    • hear hear! I weigh far more than my shorter friends who are fatter than me, probably because of my giant hands, feet and head.

      Its not so bad being a beast though – people are less inclined to annoy you on public transport.

    • I understand what you are trying to say about height but by saying “they should at least be in shape and have muscle definition if they want to be in the public eye” is COMPLETLY ridiculous!! Do you really think that? That someone shouldn’t be in public if they don’t have the perfect (whatever that is) body? As quirkygirlkitten said “besides, actors and actresses are portraying characters and should represent a range of physical types, not just skinny.”

      • did i once say EVERY FAMOUS PERSON SHOULD BE STICK THIN. nope.

        again…they should at least be in shape and have muscle definition if they want to be in the public eye.

        they shouldnt be slobs. they should ohhhh i dunno take price in their appearance. and realize they’re getting paid millions to have people look at them.

      • Are you effing kidding me?? I am going to go out a limb and awesome the likes of Drew, Salma & Mandy are far better looking and in better shape than you (and yes, me). And they get paid to make movies. If they don’t look the part, they don’t get the role and they don’t get paid millions. So their shape & muscle definition is really up to them, not you.

  • Am I the only one who thinks this article is so over the top ridiculous that it clearly meant to be a joke? A joke devoid of much humor-especially from a female perspective, but a joke nonetheless. These types of lists and the Maxim/FHM or whatever “hot” lists are on the same dumb level. They mean nothing to anyone.

  • if that’s what eating a tub of neopolitian ice cream everyday looks like, i guess i should start doing that instead of working out everyday and eating a balanced vegetarian diet…

  • Most Americans really don’t have a sense of what normal weight is either way, so I’m not even going to bother with this.

  • I’m afraid it’s not just the guys who feel this way. It’s just American mentality. While we may accept the difference in these stars (not all of whom I would even consider as “curvy”) as different from the norm, I think the thought still crosses our minds that they are bigger than the standard. I always think Callie on Grey’s is pretty, but then I qualify that with “for a big girl”.

    When I was young my brother’s friends all said I was “healthy”, their way of kindly saying fat. In my 20’s I started in with anorexia/bulemia to fit the ideal and still never felt thin enough because I am muscular and have an hourglass figure. I can’t fit the American-defined version of thin. Like my mom always told me…our visions of what is right is just warped.

  • Compared to men, you are not as harsh? That’s like a black person going to a Klan rally covered by the sheets. Jusst looking around, you are in bad company even if you didn’t spark the cross.

  • WOW. Whoever wrote that article is an asshole. If men are so obsessed with “super thin, super hot women,” gee, I wonder where our body issues come from.

  • WHAT ABOUT MEN??? DON’T WE DESERVE SEE A SUPER CUT AND BUFF BODY REALLY TAN OR IS THIS JUST A RULE FOR WOMEN?

  • didn;t salma hayek have a baby fairly recently? i think women who have had a baby within a couple of years should be exempt from weight comments. besides, actors and actresses are portraying characters and should represent a range of physical types, not just skinny.

  • um…. i haven’t been ‘thin’ for years….. and iv always had lots of men wanting to have sex with me…… so why do i care if i cant be a model?

    • hmmm, not meaning to sound as arrogant as that came out – point I am trying to make is not that I am desirable, but that most men dont have iron clad ‘skinny rules’ – exept my old boss. he would measure girls with a tape measure and then tell his employees the next day what the measurements were.

      and that did not go down well…. let me tell you.

  • The guy who wrote that is a huge asshole. This kind of thinking and comments are the cause of eating disorders. Calling Liv Tyler FAT is way too much.

  • what a jerk! the spike commenters are pretty great/pissed, too. i get where this was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but the execution was terrible, the article was an idiot idea in the first place and this guy is a douche.

  • To quote a few good comments by Spike readers:

    “You are a piece of poop, Nick Cole, and I hope your penis falls off. I now hate you, personally. And I’m willing to wager that you don’t look so good yourself. ”

    “Dood, your hatred of the female form makes it so apparent that you spend your nights jacking off in to a bag of cotton balls and crying. Not necessarily in that order. ”

    “Are you shitting me? Here’s a news-flash douchebutter: none of these chicks is fat, all of them are hot, (sure, Mandy Moere is kinda annoying, but whatevs) and you wouldn’t have a fucking shot in hell with any of them if they had a brain tumor and your penis was the cure for cancer. ”

    Made my damn day. Thanks guys.

  • hahahahahahahaha ohh shit, who the hell said that “BMI of 31 is reasonable” crap?! well, anyway, I think Liv and Mandy are gorgeous, but talking about Raven…perfect body? hahah, get some glasses

  • It is good to see that some of the (male) readers of Spoke are outraged. In their defense, not all men hold that mentality when it comes to women.

  • I really hope that article was a joke. Mostly because he doesn’t even know what butterface means. He tries to then use the term “butterbody” to mean the face is awesome but the body has “gone to butter.” What a dumb fuck. Butterface means that everything is hot body-wise BUT HER FACE (with ‘but’ meaning ‘except’). So dumb.

  • You know what would be awesome? If we stopped fucking criticizing women and men’s bodies for cheap shitty humor. Maybe you don’t need to call Raven-Symone fat and just dwell on her need for all caps blog posting, etc. I know, it’s CRAZY to think we wouldn’t make fun of people for how their body/face look, but it might just work.

  • What a nerd. He obviously thinks that his fat, pale, hairy ass could score a beautiful woman like his idol on According to Jim. Shows that like, give douchebags like this the thought that they actually can be an authority on what woman should look like. Dick.

  • this is absolutely ridiculous. I can’t believe this — every single one of those women is beautiful and one does not have to be super-skinny to be beautiful. Seriously? These women ARE extraordinary (okay, not Many Moore, but Selma Hayek? Liv Tyler? HELLOOOOOO!!!) — extraordinary does NOT mean emaciated. And not a single one of those women is “fat” in any way, shape or form. They have curves. Get over it.
    Jeez, i hate close-minded horny bastards like that.

  • Wow. That’s ridiculous. I really have nothing to say that hasn’t been said. Guy is a doucher and there’s a need for all types.

  • This article is a stupid joke and I can’t believe how upset people are getting. And yes, I am a feminist. I believe it was his intent to annoy and stir it up, and get people to say ridiculous things…like this comment here:

    his is why 8 year olds get anorexia.

    I hope you’re proud of the impact you’ll have on the lives of the girls and their families as they waste away and kill themselves over this ridiculous cookie-cutter expectation of beauty… utilized to sell magazines, diet pills and cosmetics, with no regard for the negative effects this kind of trite, dehumanizing dribble produces on our world’s society.

    You are KILLING people with this kind of article.

    Literally, people will use this article to rationalize their self-destructive and deadly behavior, and it will indoctrinate any young girl that comes across this filth to equate thin with pretty for the rest of their lives.

    Even if thin = heart failure.

  • ROFL.

    That guy is hilarious. :)

    And I’m glad I’m not the only one who understood that he was making a jab at the way people view the world.

    HI!!! To everyone freaking out about how much of a pig he is….has it ever occurred to you that he’s doing something quite similar to Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal? (Google it, I’m sure most have no idea what I’m talking about.)

    I mean, it’s not nearly as well written as Swift’s and doesn’t deal with as serious an issue, but perhaps it gives us a look into the ridiculousness of “perfect body image”.

    • (Google it, I’m sure most have no idea what I’m talking about.)

      sigh. From this, I am assuming that you think everyone on here is stupid. If that is the case, what does that make you? You could have made the Modest Proposal analogy without coming off like a condescending jerk.

      And saying that “it’s not nearly as well written as Swift’s” is one of the largest understatements that I have ever read.

  • I dunno Beet.. people on this site see some celebs and go, eww, too skinny etc, when they aren’t dangerously skinny at all.. people seem bitter. Anyway, lets see this list…

    Sara Ramirez – Could lose a bit to be healthy, semi pretty.
    Drew Barrymore – Nah she’s alright
    Salma Hayek – She isn’t fat.. but she is ugly, mainly in the 2nd pic :O
    America Ferrera – She’s like, 10cm tall, she’s bound to be big
    Mandy Moore – she’s ok
    Liv Tyler – not too bad, not hot though
    Tyra Banks – OMG yes, she’s fat!

  • The thing about it being a celebrity’s “job” to look svelte and beautiful only applies to models. As far as I can tell, actresses get paid to act, singers to sing, etc. You don’t have to be good looking to have talent–that’s a stupid way of thinking.

  • Beet, you should do an article about all the tubby men in Hollywood recently. Luke Wilson, anyone? What the hell happened to him? Russell Crowe of course. Wentworth Miller from Prison Break hasn’t been looking his best. I’m sure there’s “tons” more. lol.

  • Raven is the World’s most Beautiful Woman, and she is Very Talented, Doing well for herself, and is Sweet that is why y’all be hating on her so much. Bump y’all haters to H—

      • but clearly you wasted your time and you read it. so really dickface, who’s the winner in this one?

        keep trolling the internet trying to start BLOG fights. again…who’s the winner in those fights?

  • I merely disagreed with your opinion. YOU decided to take it to the next level. And yes, I did take the time to read your blog, that’s why you have it linked right? So people can read your blog? But, I must be in the wrong, because you seem like a really nice person, with the name calling and cutting & pasting other reader’s comments & then blasting them on your blog. How sweet.

  • just reposting….

    his is why 8 year olds get anorexia.

    I hope you’re proud of the impact you’ll have on the lives of the girls and their families as they waste away and kill themselves over this ridiculous cookie-cutter expectation of beauty… utilized to sell magazines, diet pills and cosmetics, with no regard for the negative effects this kind of trite, dehumanizing dribble produces on our world’s society.

    You are KILLING people with this kind of article.

    Literally, people will use this article to rationalize their self-destructive and deadly behavior, and it will indoctrinate any young girl that comes across this filth to equate thin with pretty for the rest of their lives.

    Even if thin = heart failure.

  • If you’re stupid enough to let yourself waste away and get sick because you want to look like your favourite celeb, then, you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.