Today's Evil Beet Gossip

How Pissed Off Do You Think Sheryl Crow Is?

16047136lancearmstrong1223200873222pm Lance Armstrong is going to be a dad again.  He and Anna Hansen, his girlfriend of five months are reportedly expecting. Lance had his swimmers frozen after his 1996 diagnosis of testicular cancer.  His three children, Luke, Isabelle and Grace were conceived through in-vitro fertilization.    But this kiddo has come about the old-fashioned way.  Usually, testicular cancer treatment kills sperm.  They aren't supposed to survive like some sort of nuclear fallout cockroaches. When Lance...

Jeremy Piven’s Sushi Overdose Leads to Bleeding Nose

Oh, how it never ends!  As you know, Jeremy Piven had to drop out of the Broadway play Speed the Plow due to mercury poisoning which he received from eating too much sushi.  Now, these recent pictures have surfaced of Piven with a very red, bloody and irritated looking nose.  Apparently sushi overdosing has been rough on Piv. I predict another exhaustion and stress announcement coming up! />Oh, how it never ends!  As you know, Jeremy Piven had to drop out of the Broadway play Speed the Plow due to mercury poisoning which he received from eating too much sushi.  Now, these recent pictures have surfaced of Piven with a very red, bloody and irritated looking nose.  Apparently sushi overdosing has been rough on Piv. I predict another exhaustion and stress announcement coming up!...

Pete Wentz Needs a Big Bag of Shut the Hell Up for Christmas

55663386petewentz12232008105800am Pete Wentz must be insecure.  Because it's always the insecure ones that feel the need to share every detail of their life with anyone who will listen.  The newest example?  During a SIRIUS radio interview, he revealed that he has tried Ashlee's breast milk and it's "soury" and "weird".  This is news we needed to hear.  Sidebar:  In the same interview, he also talked about his weight.  "I usually hang out around 135, 134, I go up to about 140, and when I hit 148, I get fat face."  I don't understand Pete Wentz because s...

A Note from Management

Hi guys! Beet here. Just a little note to explain what shit's gonna look like around here over the next couple of days. Zero flights got out of Seattle today. ZERO. So to that asshole who was posting in an earlier thread about how Seattlites need to stop bitching about the snow, FUCK YOU. Because everyone who was supposed to fly home for the holidays today is fucked. If your flight today got canceled, you can't get on another out of Seattle until the 27th, maybe the 26th if you're lucky. So everyone who was supposed to fly home for Christmas today is not going to be home for Christmas. So, once again, to that commenter, FUCK YOU. The end result is that some of my friends are stranded here for the holidays and are super bummed about it. Since I'm a little Jew girl and I don't really care whether or not I'm with my family on December 25 specifically, I decided to change my flight to the 27th (under the circumstances, US Airways waived any rescheduling fees), and I'm spending Christmas in Washington. This will be my anonymous Christmas gift to a random Seattlite, who will be shocked to hear that s/he can, in fact, catch a flight to Phoenix tomorrow and be home for Christmas. I feel warm and fuzzy about it already. Plus: some of us stranded folks rented a cabin near Mt. Baker and we're going snowboarding tomorrow. WOOT WOOT! So: Wendie will be covering for me on Tuesday (THANK YOU WENDIE!!!). It's nice when I get to have a life every now and then. The bad news is that I don't think our little cabin has Internet. I'm also not going to ask Wendie to cover for me on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. So I am going to try very hard to find places around Mt. Baker that are open AND have Internet access (if you live in or near the area, I'd love to hear your suggestions!), but posting will probably be pretty slow and/or non-existent on Dec 24 and 25. It will also likely take longer for your comments to get approved. We should be back to normal by the night of the 26th at the latest. If I don't talk to you guys before Christmas, you are my Christmas presents and my Hannukah presents and my Martin Luther King Day presents and my Flag Day presents and my birthday presents and just generally the highlights of my life every single day of the year. So thank you, and happy holidays. />Hi guys! Beet here. Just a little note to explain what shit's gonna look like around here over the next couple of days. Zero flights got out of Seattle today. ZERO. So to that asshole who was posting in an earlier thread about how Seattlites need to stop bitching about the snow, FUCK YOU. Because everyone who was supposed to fly home for the holidays today is fucked. If your flight today got canceled, you can't get on another out of Seattle until the 27th, maybe the 26th if you're lucky. So everyone...

Paris Hilton Says She Probably Knew Her Robber

Paris Hilton With absolutely nothing else going on right now, Hollywood is all abuzz with talk of the $2M in gaudy jewels stolen from Chez Hilton last week, and Paris Hilton is all too happy to warble on about it herself. "I think whoever did this, definitely has been there before," she told E! News on Monday, while perusing the racks at the L.A. boutique Intuition. "We have some suspects that I'm thinking of ... I would tell them to please return my things, because I know that they're probably watching E! News right now, to return everything and that's it. They just have to anonymous...

Who Is America’s Most Inspirational Animal of 2008?

page52_385x185_441681a Um, so the Chinese people have chosen an earthquake-surviving pig as the most inspirational animal of 2008. (Ummmm ... I thought the Chinese had their own calendar ... ) A pig that became a nationwide celebrity after surviving for 36 days buried beneath rubble after this year's Sichuan earthquake has been named China's most inspirational animal of 2008. "Zhu Jianqiang" or "Strong-Willed Pig", won the award in an online vote, beating six dogs, a bird, a turtle and a cat to the coveted titl...

“Valkyrie” Won’t Manage to Kill at the Box Office, Either

valkyrie_cruise_thumb I wrote awhile back about how ridiculous and desperate I felt it was that Valkyrie was opening on Christmas Day. A friend emailed me later that night to point out that Schindler's List also opened on Christmas Day. "Somehow," I told her, "I don't think this is going to be comparable." Here are some excerpts from an early review of this feel-good Hitler-assassinating holiday flick (emphasis mine). Turns out Cruise is both the central figure in "Valkyrie" and its weakest link. He's distra...

Britney’s Dad Gets a Retroactive Raise from the Courts

56311239britneyspears126200820910pm Let me see if I can explain this to y'all, because I'm not so sure I get it myself. Jamie Spears was getting $2500/week to manage his daughter's life. This payment system has been in place since January. But, for some reason, he decided to go back to the courts this month and be all like, "I've actually been doing way more work than I feel I was being paid for" and the courts were all like "Yeah, you're right," and now he's getting $16K a month in back-payments for the past 11 months. "He has been working extra ho...

Who Doesn’t Have $200 to Spend on a Headband???

mischabarton This is not a Christmas joke. Mischa Barton designed a line of headbands for Stacy Lapidus, and they're retailing for $90-$200. WHAT PLANET ARE THESE PEOPLE LIVING ON? Anyway, you may have heard of this little snowstorm thing we're having up here in Seattle. It's kind of a little nutty around here right now. We're not really a snowstorm city. The airport's closed down for the day. They ran out of de-icer. I may or may not be able to get on my flight out tomorrow. My fucking truck's still in...