It's funny, because I came home tonight from a verrrry long Arizona day -- seriously I went to a Cardinals game and then out for drinks with friends and somehow it was immensely stressful, but that's what being home does to me -- and I really felt like listening to Kelly Clarkson's My December, so I brought it up on Rhapsody and started rocking out to it. I don't care what anyone says, I like that album. And then I'm flipping through the news trying to see if there's anything important I misse...
1) There is absolutely nothing of any interest going on anywhere in the world right now. Trust me, I asked everyone.
2) I'm in Scottsdale at my dad's house, where the Internet moves at about the speed of the fat asthma kid in fourth grade.
3) I am still sick.
4) Wendie is even sicker than I am, and she has the added bonus of a sick kiddo to deal with on top of it.
5) The result: Not gonna be much posting on Sunday.
If you guys want, you can entertain yourselves by composing haikus about Lindsay Lohan's relationship with Samantha Ronson in the comments. THEY MUST BE IN HAIKU FORM. I will pick a winner. The winner will get absolutely nothing, but there will be bragging rights, I can promise you that. />1) There is absolutely nothing of any interest going on anywhere in the world right now. Trust me, I asked everyone.
2) I'm in Scottsdale at my dad's house, where the Internet moves at about the speed of the fat asthma kid in fourth grade.
3) I am still sick.
4) Wendie is even sicker than I am, and she has the added bonus of a sick kiddo to deal with on top of it.
5) The result: Not gonna be much posting on Sunday.
If you guys want, you can entertain yourselves by composing haikus a...
Okay, so I'm too sick to write anything amusing, but I'm too stuffed up to sleep (I'm afraid I'll die! I can't breathe!), so I'm -- what else? -- web-surfing.
This is an interesting article about the current generation of von Trapps -- the Austrian family immortalized in The Sound of Music, who today run a ski lodge in Vermont.
Okay back to being sick now. />...
Um, if you can believe it, Chyna was rushed to the hospital early Saturday morning when friends found her passed out with cuts on her arms. From TMZ:
We've learned Chyna was rushed to the hospital early Saturday -- her birthday. She was so drunk when she was admitted, the shrinks at the hospital couldn't even do a psych evaluation.
Paramedics were called to her home in Burbank just before 5:00 AM. Saturday. She was celebrating her birthday with a few friends and had way too many drinks -- which didn't mix well with her prescriptions.
...
Whose famous vagina excreted this pacified cutie? She was spotted doing some shopping with her mom in LA yesterday. Here's an unexpected hint: her celeb mom was smoking a cigarette not two feet from this little girl! And she's not Britney Spears!
Answer is after the jump.
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Oh, Paris. I don't care whether you're in Aspen or Los Angeles or Mt. Everest. You're competing with Lindsay Lohan each and every day of your life, and it simply cannot be done in those boots. Lindsay Lohan is the reigning boots champion of the world. The boots you are wearing are not nearly as cool as the ones Lindsay's been wearing lately, plus how are we supposed to get a pic of your slipping and eating shit in the snow if you insist on such sturdy footwear? And lastly your name is not writt...
Lindsers looks fantastic like always (these days!), smoking a cigarette with SamRo outside of Neiman Marcus after a long, hard day of shopping. Hey, at least something in her life is long and hard these days! (Ba-dum-bum ching! Honestly people if I were getting laid AT ALL I wouldn't have to make these jokes.)
I continue to obsess upon her boots, and would like to say thank you to the commenter who told me where to find the knock-off versions of the boots she was wearing here. I received the...
...
OMG.
So many jokes, so little time.
This would be such a sweet and wonderful thing if their last names were anything but what they are.
Comedian and actor Jay Mohr filed a petition a week ago to legally add his wife's surname to his own, thereby making his full appellation Jon (his birth name) Ferguson Cox Mohr. Jay married actress Nikki Cox two years ago.
I'd be snarkier about this, but right now I'm just terribly relieved for any two people who are in love and both aging in th...
A select few of us lucky gossip bloggers received this email tonight. It was from Michael Lohan, announcing the launch of his new blog, Mike Lohan Online. This blog is a fantastic idea, because now Michael Lohan can just skip the middleman of the New York Post or InTouch and just publicly talk shit about his daughter whenever he feels the urge. Evil has gone digital! This is an excerpt from his first post:
Today, on TMZ, my darling daughter Lindsay was asked for a comment in response to me sayin...
Hi guys. Right now, I feel like I just left a funeral, where I broke up with my boyfriend, and then the hearse ran over my dog. In reality, I just got back from seeing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which should just be called Horrible Emotional Trauma: The Movie. The running time of the film is 159 minutes. I was crying for about 150 of those minutes. And six of the remaining minutes I spent in the bathroom. So we're looking at like three tear-less minutes there. And I'm not talking, like, ...
Hi guys.
If you can believe it, after spending the past two days outside in a blizzard, I am sick today. I know, I know. I'm shocked too. Plus it's Friday and it's the day after Christmas and traffic is ridiculously low anyway and no one is even reading this so I could just go ahead and confess about my third nipple and no one would even know. Seriously though I feel like ass, so this is probably the last post of the day. Not that you care because you're not reading this anyway. Did I mention my...