It's almost the start of the holiday season, and this is about the time that I completely stop giving a fuck about doing work and totally phone it in. This was an especially dangerous time, for the country as a whole, really, back when I used to write the code for fighter jets. Thank goodness I have been quarantined in the world of celebrity gossip now. But some moron PR flack sends me an email wanting me to run a contest promoting the Hello Kitty album, since apparently you guys are all seven years old. And I'm like "Holy shit, what the fuck is the Hello Kitty album?" And it's real, and it exists, and the MySpace page is here, and it contains this gem of a music video. And I'm sitting at my desk listening to it and Laremy walks by. He stops dead in his tracks and stares at me. "There's a very good explanation for this," I say. "Don't tell me," he says. "It's much better this way." /> It's almost the start of the holiday season, and this is about the time that I completely stop giving a fuck about doing work and totally phone it in. This was an especially dangerous time, for the country as a whole, really, back when I used to write the code for fighter jets. Thank goodness I have been quarantined in the world of celebrity gossip now. But some moron PR flack sends me an email wanting me to run a contest promoting the Hello Kitty album, since apparently you guys are all sev...

Listen up, people. New rule. We do not cover Heidi and Spencer on this blog anymore. Not until one or both of them dies. I am so unbelievably sick of their famewhoring. Never again. />...

OK! magazine may brag that it costs 50 cents less than Us Weekly or People, but that comes at a price. The magazine misspelled Ashlee Simpson's name -- on the cover. "It is highly embarrassing and, sadly, someone will probably be fired," said a rep for the magazine. ...

Furthermore, I'd like to mention that the subjects of this photo op are also welcome to get behind me. Some big strong men from the New York Giants helped load trucks with Thanksgiving dinner at a food bank in Harlem. Yummy! (The men and the food.) See? I care about football! (That's the sport these guys play, right?) You can be sexy like these dudes by calling your local food bank and asking what YOU can do to help out this holiday season. ...

“It’s straight out cruelty. Things that are just mean and cruel, like saying that they’re ‘fugly.’ I’m talking about my 14-year-old, my 17-year-old, who aren’t choosing to be in the public eye. It’s very painful, as it would be for any parent to have anybody say unkind or hurtful things about your children.” Demi Moore, discussing how bloggers talk about her children. Personally, I've never talked shit about her younger daughters, ...