Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Stars: They’re Just Like Us!

They wear Spanx! Eva Longoria was totes busted flashing her Spanx as she got into the car after a party for her cover of Allure. Okay, listen up ladies, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: If you have any complaints about the shape of your legs or your stomach or your butt, and you're not wearing Spanx, the joke's on you. As someone with a lifelong Buddha belly, I swear by the things. It's like getting tummy lipo for 1/100th of the price and none of the messy surgery -- the only downside is you miss out on an opportunity to potentially meet ...

Still Going Strong!

Her best frenemy may have just dumped his brother, but all seems well in the world of Nicole and Joel. They looked very much the couple as they headed out to lunch on Wednesday. Every time I see these two standing right next to each other, I'm just like, "Wow, he must be so short in real life." I mean, I've never seen Joel in person, but I've seen Nicole, and she's, like, 5-foot-nothing. I mean, tiny. And Benji -- whose shoes have more lift than Nicole's here -- is really not that much tall...

James Van Der Beek Is Back on TV!

Dude. You would have been much better off fading into obscurity than snorting fake cocaine through a straw on anything on the CW, let alone One Tree Hill. This is embarrassing, dude. I don't know why, but this reminded me of that Saved By the Bell episode where Zack and Slater find a "roach" in the bathroom. And thanks to the wonders of YouTube, I could watch all my favorite parts all over again, and so can you. /> Dude. You would have been much better off fading into obscurity than snorting fake cocaine through a straw on anything on the CW, let alone One Tree Hill. This is embarrassing, dude. I don't know why, but this reminded me of that Saved By the Bell episode where Zack and Slater find a "roach" in the bathroom. And thanks to the wonders of YouTube, I could watch all my favorite parts all over again, and so can you. ...

In Case You Care

The new Guns 'N' Roses album -- the first in seventeen years -- debuts tonight on MySpace, where you can listen to it for free (if you haven't already downloaded one of the leaked copies that hit the Internet awhile ago). The MySpace link is here. The stream of Chinese Democracy will be available in 25 countries: US, Canada, Argentina, Mexico, Brazil, UK, Ireland, France, Germany, Austria, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark, Russia, Turkey, Poland, India, Australia, ...

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Are Unfortunately Still Engaged

News broke awhile ago that they'd called off their engagement, and I was relieved that this disaster had been narrowly avoided, but apparently their Titanic is still plowing full-steam ahead into that iceberg. "[The ceremony will be] small," Brian said at the GQ party in LA on Tuesday, after confirming that they were still engaged. "Originally we were talking elopement and now we might have a few people there." Still, he said, don't expect a lot of press hoopla surrounding their big day. ...