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I Hate You, Jessica Alba

September 23, 2008
Evil Beet
Jessica Alba
33 Comments

Oh, look, here’s Jessica Alba and her perfect stomach like twenty seconds after giving birth.

I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I’m just going to tell myself that she had a ton of liposuction, because it’s the only way I can go on living in a world of such gross genetic inequity.

33 CommentsLeave a comment

  • i’ve dieted and exercised for a full year and i still haven’t gotten back my flat stomach. i hate her.

  • @ Anonymouse

    From Wikipedia –

    Alba was born in Pomona, California[1] to Catherine Alba (née Jensen) and Mark Alba. Her mother is of Danish and French Canadian descent and her father is of Mexican American descent (both his parents were born in California)

    I agree with TSS, you are a stupid motherfucker. YOU get it straight.

  • She is really beautiful, and im not just thinking about the “uuuh how thin and pretty she is and thats all there is”. It’s all about her great feauters, NOT about her being skinny.

    And for the ladies, i can assure you that she have got her fully educated personal trainer who helped her lost the babyfat.

  • Do any of you people realise that her whole world revolves around her getting that thin again?! remember how MISERABLE she was for the longest time because she put on weight when she was pregnant. This is a culmination of extremely hard work and dedication.

    Dedication that MOST people could not bother to do because we have better things to do with our time.

  • In writing my submissions to send to you, I wrote almost the exact same post as you. Seriously, word for word title and very similar text. Tooo funny. Yeah…she needs a Hostess cupcake….she pisses me off.

  • yep, i’m the dumbass who spends all my time researching celebrities’ backgrounds.

    oh well, she’s part mexican. *shrug*

  • Big deal, she lost the baby weight that made her soooooooo miserable. She’s got all the $$ she needs for a personal trainer & private sessions, a nutrionist, a personal chef, etc. Last time I checked, I can’t afford to even call a personal trainer!

  • i think she is on pills or diet, and i dont mean pills like drugs, just some fat burn or something.. it couldnt be a lipo because her arms and shoulders are skinny too..

    anyway, she looks good..

  • ab, alex, and the rest with a healthy amount of self-esteem, thank you. it’s nice to know others do not suffer from jealousy.

  • @antisocialite, me too – my son is 11 months old and I still look like I’m 5 months preggo if I don’t actively focus on sucking in my gut. Diet, excercise, Pilates, slim fast, the works. It ain’t workin’. Not all stomach muscles are created equal, damnit.

  • Isn’t it really sad that this woman has nothing other to do than get thin again instead of enjoying to be a mother! Its like after getting her baby she give it to a nanny so she can do sport and get thin again!
    Really sad that she is the same as all the sad women in Hollywood!

    By the way, I think Jessica Alba is the false-faced person I ever saw!

  • i mean, how do you look better after having a baby than before? and i do think she looks better now because before she looked five lbs away from anorexic.

  • it is grossly unfair. not only is she beautiful, but she’s rich. And now she doesn’t even have a single stretch mark from having a baby? you would never know she even had one! GROSSLY unfair.

  • You only say that you hate her because you are jealous and everyone knows it. If she was just a regular girl on the street you wouldn’t pay her out because she is pretty and thin, you would compliment her. Just because she is famous, rich and beautiful doesn’t mean you people should go around bitching about her behind her back, like seriously get a life, and frankly she is a great actress so she deserves all the things she has. I mean she is a great entertainer and you feel happy when you watch a good movie and I think her movies are great so go get a fucking life you loser. Fuck you. You don’t even know her.

  • i hate her too. because she makes women everywhere feel shit about themselves. and guys always go on about how hot and wonderful she is and us normal folk can just not compete with that. at least gorgeous celebrites like jennifer aniston or cameron diaz have flaws, eg. cameron diaz has acne and jennifer aniston had a nose job and has man problems… things like that make them likeable! jessica alba needs a good fucking douse of bad luck, then maybe we will all warm to her. until then she should just take the hate because her life is fucking perfect and its a small price to pay!!!