Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Britney Spears Will Do the 2008 VMAs … Sort Of

There was talk of Britney Spears getting a "do-over" performance at the 2008 VMAs, but since her 2007 performance resulted in three public hangings and an invite-only beheading at MTV's New York City offices, it looks like the staff thought better of it. Britney will not perform live on the VMAs. Instead, she recorded a promo clip with the host, Russell Brand. (Can't figure out where you know Russell Brand from? He was the crazy rock star dude in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.) The spot apparently pokes...

Apparently the LAPD Operates a Lot Like Your Cable Company

Okay, so here's like, my biggest pet peeve in the world. I call the cable company to ask a question. Before I can talk to a human being, I'm asked to key in my telephone number. I do this. Then a human being answers, and asks me for my telephone number. I give it to her. Then this human being asks me for my name, address and account number. I tell her. Then she asks me what I need. I tell her. Then she's like, "Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to pass you along to XYZ Dept." And I'm like "Okay." So then ...

John Edwards Admits to Extramarital Affair

It's opening night of the Olympics, and it also happens to be a lovely, summer Friday night that the country can't wait to get out and enjoy. What a politician to do? Why, admit to cheating on his wife, of course. Former U.S. senator and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards admitted to an extramarital affair in an interview with ABC News, the network reported Friday. He denied being the father of the woman's child, as had been alleged in tabloid reports. Speaking to the network...

The Olympics Have Begun!

Even though it won't air on US television until tonight, the opening ceremony of the Olympics has just ended in Beijing. I'm trying to find you guys clips, but unfortunately the television stations have people stalking YouTube full-time to remove any copyrighted material. This is what I could find so far. It's very homosexual. /> Even though it won't air on US television until tonight, the opening ceremony of the Olympics has just ended in Beijing. I'm trying to find you guys clips, but unfortunately the television stations have people stalking YouTube full-time to remove any copyrighted material. This is what I could find so far. It's very homosexual. ...

The Clay Nation Has Another Member

Jaymes Foster, the 50-something longtime friend and producer of Clay Aiken, has given birth to a baby who was conceived via artificial insemination using Clay's little swimmers. The baby, son Parker Foster Aiken, was born early this morning in North Carolina. Clay was on-hand for the event, as the odd couple (who are platonic friends, obvs) plan to raise the kiddo together. Mother and baby -- who is reportedly dark-haired, not a red-head -- are doing well. Oh, and also? Clay Aiken is gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Bu...

Jewel Went and Got Herself Hitched

After quietly dating rodeo man Ty Murray for ten years, Jewel finally tied the knot this weekend in the Bahamas. "I dreamt about this day since I was a little girl on a ranch in Alaska," Jewel said in a statement. "It was relaxed and romantic. I wore a traditional wedding gown and diamonds and he wore jeans and a button down shirt! Ty's definitely my perfect prince." "We both have been so blessed in our lives," Ty said. "We're lucky to have each other and look forward to starting a famil...

You Guys MUST See Tropic Thunder

I just got back from the press screening of Tropic Thunder, the new Ben Stiller flick, and I have to say that it was the funniest movie I've seen in years. Seriously. Fucking hilarious. Amazing. I laughed non-stop. Everybody in it is freakin' phenomenal, and you know the weirdest part? Even Tom Cruise is awesome. He plays moneyman Les Grossman, who's rumored to be based heavily on Viacom head Sumner Redstone, who nobody hates more than Tom Cruise. So Tom plays him as a narcissistic, evil, hea...

THE VERNE TROYER SEX TAPE STILL HAS HOPE!!!!

Oh, don't tease me like this! Seriously this Mini Me sex tape back-and-forth is like a guy putting it in, taking it out, and being like "You know, I'm just going to stop for now." IT'S NOT FAIR. I'd rather just fuck Verne Troyer; at least then I wouldn't know it was in to begin with. Anyway, in order to prevent his sex tape from being released, Troyer first has to copyright the tape. In order to copyright the tape, he must find a copy. And he's having some trouble doing that. [Rana...