Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sanjaya Malakar is Selling Insurance

I mean, not door-to-door or anything, although nothing would make me happier.

Sanjaya’s going to appear in a commercial for Nationwide Insurance.

In the commercial, Sanjaya visits a wise man who tells him he needs a retirement plan — and a haircut. Ahhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha! THE WIT! Those wacky insurance ad guys! What will they dream up next? Oooh, I know! We could have Shaquille O’Neal in a commercial. And make some sort of joke about how he’s tall!

I have to hand it to Sanjaya, though — he’s managed to drag his fifteen minutes out about as long as anyone can while still clinging to a shred of dignity. I talked to a guy at the gym today who’s working on a show about Extreme Arm-Wresting. Apparently it’s like normal arm wrestling, but you can use your free hand to punch. Kicking is legal, too. When the sport initially began, they tethered the competitors’ arms together, but soon learned that resulted in too many injuries. Anyway, here the point. The star of the show? Danny Bonaduce.

Yeah.

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