It’s actually a pretty long list.
I have to kill both Amanda Beard and model Lily Donaldson, both of whom Michael Phelps is rumored to be dating, but before I do that, I have to kill anyone involved in the creation of Windows Vista and the decision to install it on any fucking new laptop. From what I can tell, Windows Vista is in no way better than XP, it’s just very different and therefore impossible to navigate when you’re used to using XP. Oh, and it’s crashed twice already. Like, full-on core dump. While I was trying to do complicated things. Like connect to the Internet. Incredible. How long did Microsoft take to release this crapfest? Hopefully Bill Gates is doing a little better providing health care to children in third-world countries. Because if his track record over there is anything like fucking Vista, those kids are going to have bizarre mutations any day now. Like, the third eye won’t just be a figurative reference in rural India.
Seriously, what was wrong with XP? I hate you, Microsoft. I swore I’d never be a Mac user, but, for the first time in my life, I’m seriously considering it. I mean, if I’m gonna have to learn a new fucking OS from scratch anyway …
So anyway. Yeah. Phelps has been linked to both Amanda and Lily, both of whom I will kill so that he can be mine, all mine. But only after I get through with the folks at Microsoft.
yes get a mac. they’re amazing, really
oh beet. vista is just beyond awful. put xp on there asap. i kno one OS worse than vista. windows me. it was on a comp i bought back in 2001. that was the most absurd OS ever. i feel your pain, i really do. good luck :(. oh, and i am so down to help you kill those girls. in no way do they deserve a size 14 penis.
don’t even bother with anything windows. macs are incredible. much faster, virtually 100% resistant from viruses/sporadic shutting down… you will be soooooo happy with it. plus they are so user-friendly. once you get the hang of it, it’s hard to see why anyone ever used a pc.
BUY THE MAC, YOU WON’T REGRET IT!
Ugh. If you have an XP disk, format that sucker and put XP on there. I will only move to Vista when SP2 comes out and straightens out all the problems, like it did with XP.
I swear you are the funniest writer on the internet! I read A LOT of blogs at work each day (because they are not really paying me enough to work too hard) and yours is really a delight. Thank you for continuing to post even though your computer is involved in the Vista “crapfest.”
What I did was edited all my settings back to XP without deleting vista. Its the looks that take up all the space.
Next thing you know he’ll be dating Sheryl Crowe and Kate Hudson. At the same time.
BUY A MAC…you won’t be disappointed. We have 4 of them in our family and truly have never had any major issues. No-one writes worms, trojans, virus’s for MAC; they write them because they hate Microsoft.
Vista is crap and a rip off of the look of the MAC o/s.
You go girl!!!
what about michael phelp’s buddy katie hoff? the videos i saw of those two on the olympics… they almost act like a couple the way they flirt!
Mmmmm Amanda Beard. :-)
omg beet….i had a dream about michael phelps last night…i was his girlfriend and it was AMAZING…i woke up and i was really bummed i tried going back 2 sleep but it was too late….i blame you for this dream! but thank you!!! maybe it will be you tonight! ^__^
MACS ROCK!!! And PS why didn’t we get the name of that rocker boyfriend?
Buy a Mac. Vista will just continue to disapoint you. Spend the extra and money and you will realize a Mac is 10x more enjoyable that a PC.
Lindsay Lohan said” I wanna meet Michael!”
But she is now in love with Samantha!
Omg,poor news ever!
Lily Donaldson’s pretty. Amanda Beard looks like a man. :x
I thought I read that he was gay?
Dude, “buying a mac” and “learning a new fucking OS” are pretty much an oxymoron. There is nothing to learn. It’s completely intuitive. Have you ever used an iPhone? It’s even less hard than that. Hand to God.
Wait wait wait hold up a second. There are people who think this blog is funny?
Beet, I had the same problem that you had with the MAC, I didn’t want to learn and new OS but I have a MacBook at home and have to use this stupid fucking PC at work and I HATE IT!!! My Mac Book is so much easier to use. I’ve had it for over a year now and I have NEVER had an issue with it. Never not once. Go buy the Mac!!!
?
Buy a Mac. It’s wicked easy to get used to. You won’t look back.
No problem with Vista
one gets used to it
as one gets comfy with Phelps
oh i know the first couple of months when i got vista it took dumps too and would start making all of these weird noises.
I laughed, mamba.
Rolling my eyes at Holly. She’ll leave if we ignore her, right?
If he was a stock boy at the grocery store, no one would look at him twice – so those blond models should go away, and leave Michael and his size 14 available for YOU!!!!
Amanda Beard is old looking. I don’t like that vein in her forehead. And don’t even JOKE that he is dating Katie Hoff. What a dog in that swimcap – and she makes her eyes look all wonky after she swims. EWWWWWWW!!!
amanda beard reminds me of jenny mccarthy’s less attractive sister in this picture. she looks like she’s a lot of fun though – a good friend.
maybe you should make swimming your exercise routine in your new bid for improved health. then you could accidentally on purpose swim into phelps’ lane in order to meet him.
good luck!
lily donaldson is an anerexic bitch who is only succesful like she is because she has that stupid kate moss stare that is the face of modern day “bohemian” fashion and cakes on the makeup one photoshoot at a time. then again, all models today that are “approved” by the stupid fashion society have that edgy bone structure and gawky/ugly kid face. y’know, the kind that girls who are really unsocial and quiet but look pretty at the dance because they actually put on makeup and let their hair down and take they’re glasses off. ugh, fuck her. bitch.
i will personally assist you in the murder. please contact me soon.
lily donaldson is an anerexic bitch who is only succesful like she is because she has that stupid kate moss stare that is the face of modern day “bohemian” fashion and cakes on the makeup one photoshoot at a time. then again, all models today that are “approved” by the stupid fashion society have that edgy bone structure and gawky/ugly kid face. y’know, the kind that girls who are really unsocial and quiet but look pretty at the dance because they actually put on makeup and let their hair down and take they’re glasses off. ugh, fuck her. bitch.
i will personally assist you in the murder. please contact me soon.
oh yeah, BUY A MAC. once you go mac you will NEVER go back. trust me, you’ll think that you were a cavemen while using your last laptops.
Did you hear that when asked about the rumor of her being Michael Phelps’ girlfriend she said “EWWWW” – she was totally grossed out by that thought.
So, good, more for you!!!!
i will help you kill the 2 bitches….
All I have is a joke for you, Beet.
“One day the CEO of GM was meeting up with Bill Gates for a friendly lunch meeting and the GM president was driving them both when the car broke down and Gates started bragging. “See if we were driving with one of my computers, we’d be driving a Lamborgini 6.2 and it’d go faster than any car out there. And then it’d be surperior to any car because you wouldn’t even have to drive because it would safeguard you from danger on the road and do the driving by itself and it would…” And Gates went on and on and on when the General Motor’s Pres finally turned towards him and says,
“Yes that fine and all, but would you really want to drive something that would crash four times a day?!”
lily donaldson is fucked so hard she is just a prostitute !