I find I often feel better after I tell you guys why I’m in a bad mood, so I’m going to do that now.
1) Stupid Internet connection at the office is absurdly slow.
2) Still not smoking. Want cigarette.
3) Am on crazy diet to try to lose the one billion pounds I gained during the past three weeks while not smoking, because I feel absolutely disgusting and don’t fit into any of my clothes. I’m currently wearing what are supposed to be my “fat jeans” and they’re very tight. If I gain any more weight I will not have anything to wear. Crazy diet is nutritionist-approved, and basically consists of me eating only things that are the color green and taste like ass for the next two weeks. I can supplement the green stuff with protein shakes and lean meats. I can eat lots of the green stuff, but it doesn’t matter. No matter how many fucking cucumbers you eat, you still feel hungry. Has anyone ever done a diet like this before? Does it get better after the first couple of days? Because right now I am HUNGRY and GRUMPY and I WANT A FUCKING SNICKERS BAR.
4) Leo is not at the office with me. :( He’s over six months old now, so I’m trying to get in the habit of not bringing him with me everywhere I go, because right now we both have really bad separation anxiety when we’re apart.
So, in summary, these are things I would like right now but can’t have: a fast Internet connection, a cigarette, a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a cheeseburger, and my dog.
Please leave words of encouragement in the comments. Thank you.
Congrats on not smoking!
Three weeks was the hardest for my husband when he quit smoking. You can do it. Maybe start training the dog in a couple of weeks when you are more over the smoking. Don’t try to quit 2 things at once.
oh beet :(
Just think of the feelign when you:
a) get home and give your dog a cuddle
b) fitting into – NO – having all your clothes a size too BIG
c) the doctor giving you a clean bill of health when you have some scary cough that you thought was emphizima because of smoking
:)
And then it will all be worth it. You should arange your green foods into something pretty. Thats what helped when I was on a crazy diet like that. Then when I did eat it I didn’t want to ruin it so I ate slower and actually felt full.
Hope that helps!
Beet, I know what you mean. I’m at work and miss my pooches too. How is your quest on stopping the anxiety meds, and if you don’t mind me asking, what kind do you take. I recently have been cutting back on my Prozac and all I want to do is sleep. I went to bed at 8 this morning woke up at 6:30 then went back to bed for 3 more hours and I am still tired. I also need to diet. Do the Skinny Bitch diet, nothing compares. I’m a vegan though so it wasn’t too hard for me. You have more energy, you lose weight, can concentrate and seems to make getting rid of that extra chub with exercising a lot easier. =) But Im babbling, goodluck with the rest of your day.
OH P.S. What I do is if I do well for 2 days or so on my diet I’ll have a really bad for you snack IN THE MORNING (key) so you can burn it off. NEVER snack before bed=)
give yourself a few days and your sugar addiction won’t be able to control you anymore, and you will be much happier! i just found out i’m hypoglycemic, and my doc told me to stay off sugar and carbs- thought i was going to die the first few days, but then got over it, felt satisfied, and lost 15lbs in 3 weeks! nice payoff. stick with it and you won’t regret it.
I feel you, dude.
Today I pounded the pavement in downtown Los Angeles in search of lawyerly work. I haven’t worn grown up shoes in more than a year and my ankles bled all over my pantyhose before I got to my interview. I was 10 minutes late due to some poor planning, and afterwards, I teared up, threw my pantyhose in the trash and chainsmoked 3 cigarettes up against a building. In other words, my morning was the equivalent of the beginning of a terrible chick lit novel.
Those weren’t exactly encouraging words, but misery loves company. Congrats on not smoking, and eat some green gummy bears and M&Ms. Tell your nutritionist you found a loophole.
:( So sorry darlin’.
Go on the liquid diet!
I went on it and lost 15 pounds in 2-3 weeks, and now Mother Kelso thinks I am anorexic because even though I am off the diet, it completely curved my appetite, but there is bad an good to everything I suppose.
Hope you feel better though!
I’m proud of you, Beet…keep up the resolve and it’ll get better, I promise.
You’re awesome!!
I am going back to school in a couple weeks… sans dog. I am already gearing myself up for being a grumpy dogless bitch… my roommates are going to hate me.
Bring Leo to work for a little while longer.
Quitting smoking and dieting is enough for now. Once those are under control in a week or two, work on leaving Leo at home. Don’t get overwhelmed (although you are to be commended for taking on so much at once)!
my name makes no sense
Wow, sounds like your day hasn’t been much better than mine. On the way to work this morning, I got a speeding ticket. The stupid f***ers changed the speed limit from 45 to 30. $225! Fortunately, I was going 41 instead of 45. Otherwise, the ticket would have been much bigger. Oh, and congrats on not smoking! And, while I don’t really advocate the use of diet pills, find something with hoodia in it, like mega-t with hoodia, it helps to reduce your appetite and take a few pounds off too.
Dear Beet:
First of all I want to apologize because I was thinking that your posting was kind of slow and now i feel like a jackass because it turns out you are having internet problems.
I feel you on the quit smoking/gained extra pounds. My fat jeans feel like leggins.. skin tight leggins and I have to wear all my work “slacks” like Al Bundy, with the top button off. Yeah.. real sexy.
I too did a veggie/lean meat diet and was starving. In fact I am about to stop at Krispy Kreme on my way home and possibly Crystals.
All I got to say is that at least you are not smoking and that my friend is a good thing. I haven’t smoked for 3 weeks now and I have not killed anyone yet, only my wasteline.
You’re doing awesome, Beet! I went on a similar diet where all I could eat was fruits, veggies, brown rice, oatmeal, and yogurt for 9 days. The first few days I was ready to slit my husband’s throat for a chicken strip, but the cravings get better. It helps to eat small meals every 2-3 hours so at least you’re not hungry and fantasizing about cheesecake.
Good for you for not SMOKING!!!
As for your furry child at home – just think about how FUCKING HAPPY he’s going to be to see you when you get home. I promise, that will make up for any bad day you can have at work.
…and the best part is that EVERYDAY when you get home will be like the first time he sees you – that excitement NEVER goes away for them. Unconditional love from your dog is the best!!
I feel your pain ! I just got married on 8-8-08 and feel like I gained 88 pounds in the last six months. The more I freaked out, I swear to you the weight multiplied!!!
a- when the fat jeans don’t fit, you just want to cry…. I thought, hey, it’s water weight I’m losing , right? wrong!
2-good job on not smoking, I thought of picking up the habit just to shed some lb’s
iii- I have watched Leo grow with excitement and I completely understand….
So, try this….. Google an ex and see if you can find him. I did it today, haven’t spoken to him in over 15 years, I emailed, he emailed back…. still a prick…. I feel satisfied….. better than a Snickers! I was too busy laughing at how much he hasn’t changed, I didn’t need the afternoon sweet fix!!
Hey, as a nutritionist, I know how it goes. But you shouldn’t deprive yourself because if you fall off the wagon you will fall off hard- and discourage yourself in the process. As with all things, moderation is so key. Breyer’s and Edy’s make a line of double churned ice cream that is lower fat/lower sugar but still tastes great. Or get a three musketeers mint candy bar- they are smaller and separated into two pieces- but are half the fat and calories. Grab some sugar free pudding! Diversify a bit, or you’ll crash!
Keep going though, with the diet and not smoking. The rewards are worth it. Hope that helps!
Awe! My boyfriend is moving tomorrow back to L.A. I won’t be joining him for months until I can get my Esthetics license and get a job there.
I’ve been eating everything I can get my hands on, brownies, hands full of cocoa pebbles, those little baby bell cheeses, tomato olive oil triscuits…the list goes on and on.
The last time I had a cigarette was like six months ago…thinking about starting again so I won’t eat so much! hehehe
You are still funny… love the summary of wants!
sitting here in my fat shorts…I feel you :( Yay on the not smoking !
does mint chocolate chip ice cream count ?
Well beet its my first week without smoking, an every time I have a pen in my hand i try to smoke it LOL!!!! my co workers laugh at me, and about the diet I think you are being to hard on your self!!! make sure you eat what you like in small portions every 3 hrs and it would help you a lot drink lost of water but make sure you are peeing all the water cuz you don’t want to gain more WEIGHT !! and follow SARAH’S dieting tips or you can always use food coloring (green) for the snickers, anyway keep up the good work you’ll see results in a couple of days and be very proud of your self DON”T BE A QUITTER and LET YOUR SELF DOWN!!! YOU CAN TOTALLY DO IT!!!!
I don’t know that this will make you feel any better, Beet, but Weight Watchers is a perfect diet. It teaches you to eat healthier foods with the understanding that sometimes you need a piece of chocolate cake smothered in fudge and a cheesburger for the side. Of course the idea is to eat healthier (you know, all that green stuff) but you can also have some other very yummy yum items. I lost 53 lbs on WW and I have kept it off for 2 years now.
And when you come up with a solution for the not smoking thing let me know, I quit last Thursday night. My coworkers are practically begging me to smoke because I’m such a raging bitch.
I just lost the 20 lbs I gained when I quit smoking 5 years ago. I ate carbs, like whole grain bread, rice and potatos, beans, and bananas and squash. Just don’t cover them in fat, like butter. Use fat free sour cream and salt instead. People need carbs to survive. They don’t need more than 2 oz of lean protein a day. Carbs are not converted to fat, they are stored invisibly in the muscles. The fat you see is the fat you eat. You will crave fat if you don’t eat carbs, which give us energy and make us happy.
Good job on the smoking, though. If you can quit smoking, you can do anything! You are stronger than stupid cigarette cravings. You are a strong woman who can do anything she puts her mind to. YOU CAN DO IT!! FUCK EVERYONE WHO SAYS YOU CAN”T!!
Leo is a dog. He has 3 kitty friends at home. He’ll be fine. But take him with you if you need him. What’s wrong with a little puppy love when needed?
GO BEET!!
What up with everyone quitting smoking at once? I got no memo!
Beet – a few weeks ago my dr. told me I am diabetic, so now I can not eat my favorite foods – bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, cake, chips, candy…then he gets bloodwork back and my cholesterol is high so that knocks out cheese, meat, butter all the good things. Now I think I can eat lettuce, cucumbers and plant leaves, and that’s about it. I am totally depressed. I know how you feel! But, I did Atkins a few years back and after the 3rd day of no sugar/carbs, you do feel better. It passes, the uncontrolled cravings. I should take my own advice here.
Plus my b/f had a kidney stone and can’t ‘get it up’ because it hurts too much. So I have no la-la either. :( (plus he’s whiny…poor thing)
And it’s really humid today so my hair looks like a fright wig.
At least we all have eachother here. LOL!
I’ve only successfully quit smoking for 3 months (in which time I had a “reward” cigarette once a month)…. but one thing that helped a lot with that and losing weight are these things called Powerpops. They supposedly have hoodia and other appetite suppressants, but I think it’s the mental thing that does it for me.
Whenever I’d feel like smoking, especially on a long drive I’d suck on one… same with regular lollipops. I think it has a lot to do with just wanting something in your mouth/something that tastes good. Plus whenever I smoke after quitting for a while I always feel dizzy like I’m gonna faint… you probably will too… who wants to feel dizzy?
Also, Green Lake in N. Seattle is a great place to go jogging. Even though I’m super out of shape, all the Granola-y joggers inspire me to at least jog 3/4 the way, plus it’s really pretty.
Just think positively and remember that results don’t come right away and require diligence, if you’ve made it this far then you’re already on the right track. Congrats and keep on truckin!
Beet, congrats on not smoking. I know the diet sucks the first week- actually, I’m not going to lie to you- it sucks as long as you’re ON IT. I’ve been doing a similar diet for 2 1/2 weeks. The good news? I’ve lost 14 lbs. The bad news? I’m developing a serious aversion to all vegetables. I mean, I used to like vegetables. NOT ANYMORE. I may develop wings if I eat any more chicken. The only advice I can give you is hang in there, girl, and if you need some variety switch up your protein shake. I use the unflavored kind and add all sorts of extracts and sugar free syrups so I can have a new flavor every time. Try it- it might help. And though it’s not a snickers, you can add regular unsweetened cocoa powder to your shake and have some chocolate flavor. Hope this helps. Keep up the good work!
Broke ankle? Check. Quit smoking? Check. Take up Nazi-approved Crazy Diet? Check. Endure insipid internet connection? Check. Leave companion animal at home? Check.
You’re a stronger woman than I, Beet. I’d be up in a clock tower with a semi automatic weapon. Kidding. Sort of.
sugar free gum, pretzels, laughing cow on veggy, taco sauce on anything, frozen popsicles, watermelon chunks, scambled eggs with steak and then a large bowl of sugar free chocolate pudding.
Encouragements from France too! am on a diet too, green stuff and miso soup, miso soup is the best. When on the verge to dive into sugary stuff take a few dry fruits, as one of your readers say, the first week is tha hardest after that your stomach is getting used to the new diet, just stay away from food ideas, don’t go blogging on my blog for instance (not that I guess you would anyhow ^^) and keep busy!!! The doggy is a good thing to pass the first week perfectly, more cuddle sessions and longer walks! Good luck!
ugh, im feelin fat too! post what your diet is like so i can follow it too!
Me too! I was going to try to be funny and say dip your cucumbers in chocolate but then I really got into the diet tips on this page. Beet, you’ve inspired me! and here’s my tip for the day – before going off your diet go to the mall and try on clothes, that’s always depressing and makes you lose your appetite for at least a day!
(can you tell I just got back from the mall?!)
Beet, I’m sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. Like Woohoo mentioned, eating vegetarian and vegan are your best bets because you can still have chocy cake and cheeseburgers! Go to your grocery store and check out Gardenburger and all the soy desserts. I’ve been vegetarian for five years, and veggie substitutes are healthier because they don’t have cholesterol or high saturated fats. Tofutti ice creams are soooooooooo good. Good luck!
you can totally do it!! yeah the first month is a fucking living hell but then it is ok!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!
Okay Beet. Here is my advice….just in case you want it.
For the dog, bring him still… there is no need to suffer drastically. If you need to, take him just for the morning and then take him home for lunch or vice versa.
As for the greens. They can be good in STIR FRYS. I have been trying to eat a lot more greens. I like zucchini, spinach, kale, asparagus, and mushrooms for flavor. Steam them with organic chicken broth for flavor. Dress them up with light soy sauce and chili sauce. Yum.
As for the candy. Go for 80% dark chocolate bar that breaks into pieces. Its easy to satisfy a craving this way. Plus, dark chocolate is good for you.
> I just got married on 8-8-08
By your name (Lily) and the date you got married I would guess you are Asian? (specifically Chinese?).
Beet, I have a cure for weight gain. Lots and lots of sex. Now, if you need a work out partner I can “spot” you.
Hey Beet.
As a health professional (key here, because then you can tell your nutritionist a nurse told me so :P LOL) I would advise that you stick to quitting one or two things until you get one under control. So quit smoking and half heartedly diet. and in a couple of weeks when you have the smoke-free thing sorted then kick in the diet at full-speed! Keep bringing your cutie dog to work until the diet goes into full-speed, then bring him on alternate days (like bring him Monday-Wednesday-Friday) and then a couple of weeks later when your in control of the diet then wean yourself off your puppy all together and leave him at home all week long. Then you will be in control of your life, smoke free, a skinny beet and without separation anxiety. :D
With the half-hearted diet I would, like woohoo said, eat something crappy and sugary in the morning, then you can burn it off during the day. :D
Hope you sort it all out!
ha your fat that sucks. ahhhhhhh its good to be 98 lbs. but here’s some advice don’t eat ne thing the sleep diet is gold
trying to stop smoking and dieting at the same time is just silly. i speak from experience. get over the smoking, then lose the weight through just eating a little less and working out more. as for the seperation anxiety, i’m guessing it is a result of depriving yourself of so many things at once. honestly, you need to get over it – as far as problems go, you seem pretty lucky to me. maybe you should focus on that and get back to the celebrity smackdowns.
I’m proud of you Beet. The only way out for any of these issues is through and you can do it!
You might want to consider tackling one major issue at a time if the anger continues. That way you don’t feel like you are overwhelmed by deprivation.
Also, if you fail off any of your wagons, don’t beat yourself up or give up completely.
I’d also get out and exercise. I hate it, but when I’m done with it I never say I wish I hadn’t done it. It really does help depression.
Best of Luck! You asked for words of encouragement and I gave you opinions and advice. I’m a total mom, sorry.
I meant fall of the wagon, not fail off it.
I wish I could commiserate, but I am actually having a rather good day in the midst of mostly crappy ones. So I can definitely say that good days do come along once in a while. You just gotta wait out the ones where you are feeling a little homicidal.
I will say that you should know that when your faithful readers are having days/weeks/months like this, they come read your site to feel better. So I hope all the good vibes you give out come right back to you!
…sweet liquorice helped me…everytime i felt like a cigarette i ate a stick of liquorice…and surprisingly i didn’t eat pounds of the sh*t either…just enough to get over the first initail hectic cravings…suffice to say i don’t eat liquorice much anymore…hahaha…a*
…and i agree with ribbet…tackle one thing at a time or else you’ll start feeling so overwhelmed you’ll start smoking again…a*
Beet,
Bring Leo to work with you. He is a bright star in you life. He will get you through the cravings. Also, you need to post some recent photos or video of him. He always makes me smile.
I didn’t read all the comments, so it this is redundant, sorry. CINNAMON helps with CRAVINGS for cigarettes. I smoked for 30 years, quit 1 year and one month ago and LIVED on RED HOTS. I could not find cinnamon sticks anywhere, so red hots worked for me. It is proven that cinnamon alleviates cravings for cigarettes (I had a quit coach who also smoked for 30 years and also used cinnamon). I realize you are adding sugar and empty calories but I did not gain any weight because every time I reached for something, it was red hots. Keep using them as long as you need them, they’re cheap and easy to find. Worry about the diet later, get thru the 1st 6 months and you’ll be fine. Then, get off the red hots (yes, it took a little work) and THEN diet. believe me, it works.
for your weight.. do it the old fashion way. vomit your way into being a hot, skinny bitch.
for your anxiety.. just masturbate yourself into oblivion.
for leo.. call your house and call him thru the answering machine.. hearing him bark at your voice should get you thru the day
PS.. do you even read this?
Beet definitely read the comments. The poor girl has to play moderator too.
Usually you can get her attention if you say things like “your feet are so white it looks like you have socks on”. I think I made her a little sad the day I said that.
Bless your heart honey…
Long time lurker here, I’ve never commented, but just adore you and your sense of humor. You’re like one of my kids, just as funny, and just as prolific. I read you to keep my mind off the smokes ;)
I haven’t smoked since 10/5/07. I used Chantix for 4 weeks, Welbutrin (using to this date, no sexual side effects – that is important!!!) and running to beat it. When I quit smoking I weighed 164, and ten months later, I weigh 158. Not a super model (you might even say heifer), but I run 5 days a week for at least an hour, and I eat like drunks drink and love it. I have the calves and wrists of a supermodel, and I’m not trying to kill everything that crosses my path. I am not starving, and I absolutely refuse to.
Hang in there honey, you’ve got all of us here behind you cheering you on…
We all love you, and you’re going to get through this… even if you cave and have one, worse things have happened… just keep trying. And treat yourself like you have the flu… there is NOTHING harder than quitting smoking.
the best solution for you – start smoking again.
I’m just getting caught up here. I have been busy tormenting others with “the diet”. I love the “tastes like ass” part. Will you please post your testimonial on my website? Cracking up! Keep up the great work. You are a rock star!!!!!