As most of you readers know, my darling mother is in town visiting me for a few days. This evening, we decided to take the ferry to Bainbridge Island to have dinner. We ate at an INCREDIBLE restaurant called the Four Swallows. I know, it sounds like cheap porn, but it was actually a very, very fantastic restaurant with amazing food, service and ambiance. We absolutely adored it. I also had the opportunity to hear my mother’s opinions on table manners for the first time in soooo many months. Oh, how I’d missed hearing her musings on the way I consume my food! Apparently, I do not cut the lettuce in my salad correctly. Nor my green beans! And I will never find the kind of man I am looking for if I eat green beans like a piglet. You can all breathe a sigh of relief, though; by the time we’d finished the meal, I had mastered the art of green bean consumption to my mother’s standards.
On the ferry ride there, we kind of proved that we were tourists by standing outside on the front of the boat taking pictures while all the locals slept in booths inside.
As revenge for 26 years of listening to her bitch about the way I eat my food, I considered just being anorexic for awhile and making her pick up the hospital bill and then being like “SEE MOM? YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN HAPPY THAT I WAS EATING AT ALL!!!” But I can’t really go thirty minutes without eating, so instead I took embarrassing video of her on the ferry — dancing! — and I’m posting it here for all the world to see.
I love you, Mom!
Tomorrow, we are going to take a little road trip to Friday Harbor, so there is a chance I will not have Internet access when the photos of the Brangelina babies arrive on People.com at 7 pm EST. This is kind of devastating to me, and I considered telling my mom to come back some other time, but, as you can see from this video, she is old and decrepit and I’m not sure how long we’ll have her around. So we’re going to take the road trip, and I’ll get the pics posted by tomorrow night. And on Monday I’ll scan in the entire 30-page spread for ya’ll! Hooray!
Ha! You guys are funny… tell your Mom I saw her use those moves on Step Up 2 – The Streets.
But, you are supposed to cut salad and green beans?! I usually just fold it up and stuff it in my gob. :-)
hahh oh she’s cute
You know, I’m actually very interested to hear about your mom’s green bean cutting technique. I wish you had a video demonstrating said technique. Your mom is cute. =)
I’ve been reading evilbeet at least once a day – compulsivly – for way over a year now.. it has become part of my daily routine, and I get angsty if I haven’t had my fix. I can’t remember how I came across it – the celeb gossip blog wasn’t really my thing, but now I am certainly addicted.
Now I’ve heard a voice to put with the posts.. it’s kinda weird for some reason… but thanks for putting it up there. maybe one day we’ll get video of you too. I’ve always skipped over the personal posts because I feel like it’s not my business.. and why would I want to know something about someone who is of absolute no interest to me (not being rude, but we are a million miles from each other, and never going to meet).. but now I kinda want to put more of a face to the ‘voice’.
anyway beet, thanks for putting yourself out there.. must be quite a hard thing to do. and thanks to your mother also ;) x
Oh my god, Beet, I love you mum!! She’s so cute haha, hiding behind that guy!!!
Awesome. Cherish your times with your mom. I lost my mom at age 53 to cancer in 1999. When I see people like this making memories it reminds me how sweet life is. Have a great time!!!
argh i hate when people make comments like that about anorexia. i’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it, but you can’t choose to be anorexic, and it certainly isn’t something to joke about. i’ve struggled with it for a couple years now, and it really bothers me when i hear people talk about it that way.
Don’t worry. Nobody should give two shit what Brangelina’s or any other celebrity’s babies look like. They’re babies… it’s not really that exciting because they all pretty much look the same. Post pictures of them in 14 years when they’re out of rehab… that would be much more interesting.
Your mom is so cute, Beet!! You guys made me laugh out loud with this video. Oh, and your mom isn’t that old and certainly isn’t decrepid. Do enjoy the time that you have with her, though, because you never do know what tomorrow will bring. Take care and have fun with your mamma!
Oh u put a big ol smile on my face! I loved ur piglet line~cute. We’ll enjoy the time w/ ur mom. <3
the vid wont play
aww looks like you two will have fun lol..lmao the poor guy she hid behind he was probobly like wtf is going on lmaoo but anyway have fun!!!!!!
i’m just going to point out to your mother that in the future, it’d be easier and much less embarrassing to just smile, wave, and say hi than to run around a boat hiding behind random guys. :-D such a cute vid, beet
Good God, your mother is my age! And since I have a nine-year old, that is definitely not old and decrepid! Incidentally, as far as ettiquite goes, one never NEVER cuts one’s lettuce! Generally, however, restaurants serve lettuce and other greens for salad in huge hunks, which I then, with great great style, tear into edible pieces with my bare hands, much to the disgust of my 85 year old mother!
Woah, you sound way different than I expected!
That guy your mom is hiding behind is really hot!!
Your mom has good taste. I’d hide by him any day.
Hmmmph, where is the video of Beet? So far we have seen her cats, her dogs, her swollen foot, her burnt finger. I guess if we wait long enough we can make a collage.
“You don’t even know that guy mom”
Yeah, she posted a few cute pics of herself when she went to some event with her sis! :-)
Holy shit… I live on Bainbridge Island. I didn’t hear any sirens go off when you got there. Hmmm.
You should come back and go to the Harbourside Pub. HUGE view of the city, great food and killer cocktails.
Call me! LOL
> Yeah, she posted a few cute pics of herself when she went to some event with her sis!
Yup, that was still just photos. I am talking about video. No, I am not some perv that wants to get funky with a video of Beet.
lmao awww Beet! it was great to hear you laughing, im sure you’re having a wonderful time.. I miss my mother so much it’s ridiculous.. im very very happy for you Beet.