Ahhhh ha ha ha.
You guys don't care about Christian Slater, I know.
But he's moving in with his girlfriend, who happens to be the head of Jimmy Choo, Tamara Mellon. I want the head of Jimmy Choo to move in with me. I'd totally go all Single White Female on her. And by that I just mean I'd steal all of her shoes.
Okay. Go back to filling out expense reports. It's more interesting than this post. ...
U2's Bono is reportedly going to be The Godfather of Brangelina's new twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.
"They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they've become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson."
Apparently Angelina has also consulted with her former girl-flame Jenny ...
The magazine Grazia is reporting that MK has confirmed to them that she was, in fact, Heath Ledger's lover at the time that he died.
"I'm just completely shattered about Heath,'' Olsen is quoted as saying in Grazia. "I loved him so much. We had this amazing connection and now he's gone. I just can't get over him."
Eh, take this for what it's worth. I, for one, am not sure I buy it. I mean, MK might have been hooking up with Heath, but she's not gonna be admitting in to some two-bit magazin...
Ha ha. I like saying "itty bitty titty committee." It makes me happy because it sounds funny, and because it reminds me that I have large breasts. Yay!
Anyway, Keira Knightley reportedly refused to allow the studio to digitally increase her bosom in the publicity still for her new film, The Duchess.
"She has insisted that her figure stay in its natural state," says a source. "She is proud of her body and doesn’t want it altered."...
When is Britney Spears not on vacation these days?
Oh, right, when she's in a courtroom surrendering custody of her children.
With no little munchkins to look after, Britney hit up Cabo San Lucas to soak up some rays and forget her worries.
Rough life....
Not to the point where I want to, you know, stick my tongue down her throat and grab her underage ass, as these photos show her ex-boyfriend, Thomas Sturges, doing, but still. This girl just gets more fun with each new article. It's only a matter of time before she's sleeping with Greek shipping heirs, throwing drinks in clubs, and posing with knives with Vanessa Minnillo. And I, for one, can't wait.
Who wants to bet that Miley leaked these photos herself, to get back at Nick Jonas for hump...
I will never watch Sliders the same way again!
Actually, I was probably never going to watch Sliders again either way.
But still.
Jerry O'Connell was all on the red carpet last week whining about how he and Rebecca Romijn were trying to get pregnant. And guess what? She already was!
You were playing a funny joke on us, Jerry. Ha ha. That was funny. You know what else is funny? You used to be fat.
Rebecca is pregnant with twins, which were apparently conceived without any sort of...
Okay, that's a dumb title, and that's not even how you spell "accelerate," but it's nearly 4 am and I can't sleep. I've made this new and exciting decision to stop taking my anti-anxiety meds, because they make me sleep like 14 hours a day, and the end result is that, while my body adjusts, I don't sleep at all. Plus: I'm anxious! It's totally awesome. I sit on my bed, surrounded by all my slumbering animals, and I stare at them with jealousy. And then I decide which one I'm going to wake up to ...
I'm driving myself crazy trying to think up a cutesy nickname for these two.
Sienazar? Balthienna? The Homewrecking Assholes? I dunno. I like the last one.
The Homewrecking Assholes have finally put an end to their frolicking on the beach. Now they're frolicking on the New York social scene instead. On Thursday, they hit up an art show at the South Street Seaport and later hung out at the Rose Bar.
Conspicuously absent?
Balthazar's 10-month-old baby, whose mother he ditched for Sien...
Ugh.
Why do people keep giving this grade-A asshole jobs?
I can't wait until Dustin Diamond releases his Saved by the Bell tell-all. It's sure to have some juicy tidbits about Mario's disgusting womanizing ways. He's a horrible person and I wish he'd stop getting work.
Anyway, looks like ratings at Extra are down, and the network wants to pump them up by firing has-been Mark "15:00" McGrath and Dayna Devon, and replacing them with Mario Lopez. Who are all these people who love Mario L...
Damn, I gotta find myself in a hotel room with a married governor.
It's totally the way to go.
Ashley Dupre has been offered $2M to move ahead on a reality TV show -- and possibly a book -- about her life. She's currently considering whether or not to say yes.
While she weighs her options, she's lounging around on the beach in New Jersey, attending yoga, and occasionally porking her married lover, millionaire Thomas Earle. Rough life.
Okay, so as I was writing this, I was secretly co...
Here's Tori Amos signing autographs at ComicCon. I totally dig this dress, but the wig? Not so much. However, I'm giving her a pass on this only because it's ComicCon, and a little exaggeration is acceptable. But let's not do this again, Tori, dear. I still love you!
[Image via Splash]...